GlibFit 4.0 – What the Hell is in Energy Drinks?

by | Dec 19, 2021 | GlibFit | 366 comments

 

My f***ing state reimposed a mask mandate for all businesses. My gym sent out an email reluctantly asking members to wear a mask in the gym. I’m so done with this shit. I don’t want to workout wearing a mask or have to look over my shoulder to see if someone noticed I’m not wearing a mask. Everyone in the gym has been cool before. The staff didn’t do much of anything to enforce the previous mask mandate. I just don’t want to have to think about it. I want to go in, focus on my workout, and get out. I am so done with Progtopia. I am gone when I retire.

 

 

My ass has been dragging. Long hours at work, my dog who thinks roosters sleep in, and Late Night Glibs™ makes Chafed a tired boy. Which got me wondering, what the hell is in those energy drinks?

 

 

Hilariously, when I started my research (i.e., started Googling), the CDC website was the first search result. I no longer believe a thing those fuckers say. Nice work fedgov. You convinced me you no longer care about science, just politics.

As far as I know, the University of Michigan Health Service hasn’t been corrupted. Let’s see what they have to say.

 

Energy drinks

People use energy drinks because these drinks claim to improve energy, help with weight loss, increase endurance, and improve concentration. The main ingredient in energy drinks is caffeine. They also may contain extract from the guarana plant (which is similar to caffeine), the amino acid taurine, carbohydrate in the form of sugar, and vitamins.

Examples of energy drinks include Monster, Red Bull, and Rockstar.

 

 

Concerns about energy drinks

Too much caffeine. Energy drinks contain caffeine and other ingredients. The label may not say how much caffeine is in the other ingredients, so it can be hard to know how much caffeine is in the drink. A single energy drink can contain as much as 500 mg of caffeine. You would have to drink 14 cans of cola to get the same amount of caffeine. [Chafed’s note: Holy shit!]

Other ingredients. Energy drinks may contain other ingredients, such as kola nut or guarana. There has been little research on how these ingredients may affect the body.

Limited regulation. Energy drinks may be classified as dietary supplements, which are not as strictly regulated as foods. [Chafed’s next note: you are pitching regulation to wrong crowd, doc.]

Sugar. Energy drinks usually contain sugars, which add to the calories. This could lead to weight gain. The sugars can also lead to dental problems.

Withdrawal. When your body gets used to a lot of caffeine and then you stop using it, you can get symptoms including headaches, feeling tired, having trouble concentrating, and feeling grumpy.

Sleep. The caffeine in energy drinks may make it harder to sleep. Some people may feel they need less sleep, due to the stimulation they get from the caffeine. This can lead to sleep deprivation.

 

 

Screw that. If I want caffeine, and I do, I’ll drink delicious, delicious coffee. I may be drinking a cup while you’re reading this. I can (and do) skip the sugar. I take my vitamins separately. If I want amino acids, I’ll eat protein or consult Tundra on which ones to take.

 

Later this week, everyone is going to link Christmas music. I’m totally mystified how you goyim have Twelve days of Christmas but Christmas is one day. Trinitarian doctrine? Transubstantiation? Does this mean Christmas already started? Help a (((guy))) out. Whatever the answer is, here’s hoping your stocking gets stuffed. I’ll leave you with this week’s music which I think captures the spirit.

About The Author

Chafed

Chafed

I'm looking California but feeling Minnesota

366 Comments

  1. ron73440

    Not a fan of energy drinks, drank a large Monster once on a 24 hour exercise and my heart was pounding.

    During my early years in the Corps, everyone had a coffee cup. When I retired in 2016 everyone had a Monster or RockStar instead.

    • Threedoor

      Coffee for me before noon.

  2. hayeksplosives

    I gotta admit, the Coca-Cola brand coke and coffee suite of cold canned beverages are convenient and pretty darned good.

    https://www.coca-colacompany.com/news/coke-with-coffee-united-states-launch

    When I have to drag ass out to the middle of nowhere to do weapons tests, I generally start with a can of Monster Mean Bean and a 5-hour energy drink. The 5-hour drink is torture to chug down; really have to just suck it up and resist the urge to hurl. The Mean Bean on the other hand is lovely.

  3. kinnath

    My only source of caffeine is Diet Dew.

    • Chafed

      You are the Prince of Porn.

      • TARDis

        OMG #1 has Frankenthigh.

        #2 is WTH, is she like 12??? I’m out.

  4. ron73440

    As far as Glibfit, I am still stuck on the couch.

    Apparently the Dr. wasn’t joking when he told me to be patient.

    Still icing and everytime I go to the bathroom, I hear George Costanza “I was in the pool! I was in the pool!

    • Chafed

      Exploded balls must be carefully tended. Feel better.

      • ron73440

        They are way better than it was.

        I can get on and off the couch without assistance and can almost walk normally.

        Not exploded anymore, but still swollen from a hemotoma.

      • Ted S.

        Hawt.

    • MikeS

      Shrinkage!

  5. Semi-Spartan Dad

    A single energy drink can contain as much as 500 mg of caffeine. You would have to drink 14 cans of cola to get the same amount of caffeine.

    Redbull only has 80 mg, about the same as a cup of coffee.

    Screw that. If I want caffeine, and I do, I’ll drink delicious, delicious coffee. I may be drinking a cup while you’re reading this. I can (and do) skip the sugar.

    Same here. A small drop of heavy cream and no sugar. Though heavy cream is rarely in the grocery stores around me now and is gone as soon as they get any in. Thanks Brandon. If I can’t get or don’t want coffee, like when traveling, I take caffeine pills. 1 or 2 100 mg pills of pure caffeine. Easily acquired on Amazon.

    • hayeksplosives

      In my 20s I drank coffee all day at work. Nothing fancy; just whatever the Secretaries bought and we engineers and technicians brewed. Always had a mug at hand, even late into the afternoon.

      Then at 30 yrs, started having trouble sleeping and had heart palpitations. So I knocked off coffee after lunch.

      By 40, had to knock it off altogether as a daily thing. Now I just get caffeine from Cola or the coke:coffee blends I mentioned above.

      I confess that if I had a convenient stream of Monster Mean Bean every morning, I’d be all over it. Yummm…

      • rhywun

        In my 20s I drank coffee all day at work.

        #metoo

        I also used to slam Mt. Dew with vodka every night.

        Now I drink one cup of coffee every morning and no Mt. Dew except this weekend I decided to treat myself during a three-day weekend of vodka Dews.

    • Ted S.

      I’ve always drunk my coffee black, no sugar.

      And usually just standard brand ground coffee in a Mr. Coffee-type coffeemaker. I’m too damn cheap to pay for coffee shop drinks.

      • Fourscore

        Welcome to Maison de Fourscore

  6. rhywun

    Concern trolling like this drives me nuts. Does nobody do moderation any more? Because they sure seem to assume that.

  7. rhywun

    LOL Jets and Giants doing Jet and Giant things. At least they are usually scheduled opposite each other so there is a chance to view some not-crap football on Sundays.

    • Chafed

      Thanks. I had no idea that’s what it was.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        It’s also incorrect.

        When queried about why they had arrived at Herod’s court, one of the wise men answered that they had seen the star of the child in the eastern sky, and had traveled to the court to ascertain the child’s whereabouts. Herod finds out when they first saw the star, and upon learning the timing (and after it became obvious that the wise men weren’t coming back to let Herod know the deets) orders that all male children under two years of age in and around Bethlehem be put to the sword.

        Hence, it took the wise men up to two years after Jesus’ birth to get there, and Herod was covering his bases, so to speak.

      • ron73440

        It’s also wrong on the number of wise men.

        Three has become the popular number, but nowhere in the bible does it say how many there are.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Indeed.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or it’s the usual maximum overkill historically practiced by rulers who were fearful of [often real] threats to their power, position, or lives.

      • Sensei

        Next thing you’ll say is Christ wasn’t born on a pagan winter solstice celebration.

      • juris imprudent

        Under a pine tree.

      • Nephilium

        In Israel, which is well known for having festive fir trees.

      • Not Adahn

        Ahem. Do YOU write for Vox? Maybe you should stay in your lane and let credentialed journalismists do their job.

    • Gustave Lytton

      The coming of the Magi is the feast of the Epiphany. When I was growing up, we’d get an additional present on that day.

  8. MikeS

    *adds The Stocking Song to Christmas playlist.

    • Chafed

      You get it.

      FYI, I’m saving Mistress for Christmas for the actual day. Think of it as my gift under your tree.

      • MikeS

        ????⚡????

        You’re a mench

      • MikeS

        Hyperbole thinks that isn’t a Christmas song, so be ready for some snide comment from the peanut gallery.

      • The Hyperbole

        Look I like the song, I like AC/DC (Whole lotta Rosie, is tied for the greatest Rock and Roll song of all time). but just putting the word ‘Christmas’ into the lyrics of an otherwise regular song doesn’t make it a Christmas song. IMNSHO there has to be more of a criteria than that, there should be the pretense at least of some Christmas-y musical themes, jingly bells, tinkle piano, a heavenly choir of angels. For example Van Morrison’s “Snow in San Anselmo” is more of a Christmas song than Tom Wait’s “Christmas Card from a Hooker in Minneapolis”. Yes Tom mentions Christmas but other than that it’s just a Tom Waits song ( a damn good one but nothing Christmas related.) Van doesn’t mention Christmas or santa or elves or presents, but it has the feel and sound of a Christmas song.

      • Chafed

        What’s your take on this week’s music?

      • The Hyperbole

        It’s Steel Panther so it is first and foremost a parody and thus I wouldn’t’ call it a ‘Christmas song. Sure it shares some melodic and lyrical themes with classic Christmas songs but it’s primary goal is satire not yule time celebration.

      • Chafed

        So Christmas music must be serious? Genuine question. I’m just trying to follow your criteria.

      • The Hyperbole

        Serious isn’t the right term, ‘Sincere’ maybe? I mean “Santa Clause is Coming to Town” and “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer” aren’t serious but they are earnestly about Christmas and the season. I guess it could be the difference between a novelty song like those two or “Grandma got run over by a Reindeer” and parody songs like the Steel Panther one or Mojo Nixon’s “Christmas, Christmas”.

      • MikeS

        I didn’t know Mojo had a Christmas song. Thanks, Hype!

      • MikeS

        My girl’s so fine I wanna suck her daddy’s dick

      • MikeS

        I totally get what you’re saying and probably even would have agreed 10 years ago, but I’ve been listening to Christmas songs like that for nigh on 50 years. I’m pretty well burnt out on those type of songs. Christmas songs are now what ever is in my Christmas playlist. Well, I have 2 playlists; Traditional and Better.

      • The Hyperbole

        Let me be clear all Christmas songs suck eggs (with the one possible exception.) SO my assertion that this or that song isn’t a Christmas song is in no way a value judgment about said song. It may suck even if it isn’t a Christmas song.

  9. MikeS

    For years I was one Rockstar every morning. I quit that cold turkey a month or so ago. Now the only caffeine I get is the rare (8oz) can of Coke with a meal.

  10. IRBE

    Hi Chafed, Greetings from NOCAL-BEL. Thanks for edition! Cold, foggy and damp here. Hiking with 3 lbs of wet clay on the hiking boots is a good workout.

    G-fit update: Sleep was very good. Food was just OK. Too many carbs. Hike mileage was only 30 miles (rain and path hikes). Wim Hoff/meditative “ancient man” techniques; 1 time. 1 sauna, 1 cold swim. Went to gym 1 times. Weight was up 179! Didn’t long fast. This week I have big plans since I am on break from work for a couple weeks after Monday. Plan include: 48hr fast, max weight workout, cross stress and some long hikes; if trails cooperate.

    Goals: Failed goal weight range (175-170)… Still not dead from Covid…MB;MC

    I am not much into energy drinks. I did drink 3 Monsters after an organized race since they were complimentary. I think I got more aerobic burn out those cans than the race.

    Turned on the TV and AEW professional wrestling was on. I haven’t watch wrestling in 30 years, but they hooked me in, because it was the for “the most coveted championship belt”. These doods went after it for 15 minutes and then there was a PIP commercial break which coincided with limited action. Once the PIP commercial was over, the action picked up..weird. This went on for another 45 minutes (an epic athletic performance), mostly outside the ring with the occasion 2-count kickouts. Tables were broken, chairs were thrown, foreheads were bloodied, ect. Everyone was getting pretty tired and then just before the climatic ending, time was called and it was ruled a draw. Man, I just wasted an hour! But I had to admit it was a pretty good show. It seems to me, real life has imitated and surpassed professional wrestling in terms of absurdest-ability. Anyway, I bet those doods enjoyed some ‘performance’ drinks afterward.

    To live better, fat adapt, skip a meal or three! Have a plan and some Narcan…

  11. westernsloper

    I’ll leave you with this week’s music which I think captures the spirit.

    What in the wide world of fuck was that? Not cool man, not cool. And fuck energy drinks. Sugar and corn syrup aint glib fit.

    • Sean

      “Sugar and corn syrup aint glib fit.”

      Amen.

      I’m adding half a stick of butter to my marinara. Spicy meatballs this week.

      • westernsloper

        I smoked a few pounds of chicken thighs for the week and am going to huck a small rib roast in the smoker in a bit.

    • westernsloper

      This is glib fit.

      • westernsloper
    • Mojeaux

      Sugar and corn syrup aint glib fit.

      +1

    • Sensei

      OTH sodium nitrate and ethyl alcohol…

    • Chafed

      I love you WS but if you don’t get Steel Panther, I’m not the one with a problem.

      • westernsloper

        Oh I get them and usually appreciate the schtick but damn. Thanks for the post even given the lame music.

  12. Jerms

    Thanks Chafed. Used to drink a lot of sugar free red bull and monster but stopped ever since I started to do lo-carb on Nov 1. Those things have some unwanted carbs in them.
    Like Sloper I have coffee and heavy cream now.
    Went to a holiday party with guys from firehouse I worked at and hadnt seen some of the guys for over a year. Had a bunch of guys tell me I look bigger and a few asked if I was taking steroids so thats good I guess. Being retired and able to got to the gym every day must be helping. Didnt really think I had changed much since retirement but what the hell do I know.
    Still cant get any ketones going no matter what I eat or dont eat. Tried days with lots of fat tried liw fat low calorie days and the best I get to is .5 on the meter at night. Seems for me its no ketones=no weight loss and still have 10-15 lbs I want to lose.
    Going to try and do one meal a day from now until Christmas eve to see if that helps me drop a few.
    Christmas eve and day Im going to take a little break from this and eat some cake and ice cream.

    • Chafed

      Good for you jerms. It sounds like everything is going in the right direction.

      • IRBE

        I agree. I think you are onto a breakthrough. Changing up feedings, exercise, getting more sleep, and water intake may help. I even think enjoying some cake and ice cream may help.

        Just mix things up.

        If all else fails you can go on the Brad Pitt diet which is ripping heaters instead of eating…

    • westernsloper

      Have you tried sprints? My plan was to get back to those last week but alas I suck and didn’t. Intentions, intentions………….blah blah blah.

      • Jerms

        I havent. I do 30 min of cardio after lifting but have considered switching to something high intensity like sprints to switch things up.

    • Tundra

      Nice job, Jerms. In April you’ll look back and laugh, while you’re overhead pressing a rhino.

  13. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’ll stick with Covfefe for my Caffeine needs, energy drinks taste like Chemicals to me, blech,
    YMMV

    • Threedoor

      I’ve had a couple of Ripits, one Redbull and one Monster. Those things are nasty.

      • rhywun

        The only Red Bull I’ve ever had was at Red Bull Arena watching the Red Bulls. Yes, it was disgusting.

      • ron73440

        That should give wings to your wings.

  14. Chafed

    Ouch. May your balls find peace in the new year.

    • Chafed

      I have no idea how this misthread happened. Meant as a reply to Ron.

      • westernsloper

        It works on its own, and may yours do the same.

      • Chafed

        Peace be upon you.

    • Tundra

      My new greeting. Thanks, Chafed!

      • slumbrew

        I like it:

        Peace be upon your balls.

      • Chafed

        I’m sitting at my computer laughing out loud. Okay, I’m going with it. Let’s see what happens during the next two weeks.

    • ron73440

      Thanks Chafed

    • MikeS

      May peace be with you,
      And also with your balls.

      I like it.

  15. db

    I think energy drinks are mostly disgusting. Too much sugar, taste bad, make me jittery.

    • db

      I haven’t had one for about 10 years or more.

  16. Ted S.

    Which got me wondering, what the hell is in those energy drinks?

    Energy, of course.

    • Chafed

      *ponders that on the Tree of Woe*

    • tripacer

      They have what plants crave.

  17. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    My favorite energy drink is Erektus. The can used to have a caveman style painting of a man carrying a woman over his shoulder. The can was probably welded with lead.

    https://www.deepsonic.ch/deep/pix_energy/erektus.jpg

  18. LCDR_Fish

    I like a 5 hr energy. Smaller, fewer additives, sugar, etc. Very handy to keep one or two in the car for long drives or if I know I’ll be staying out later than anticipated. Also, better for watchstanding than a Monster since they don’t make you want to piss like a racehorse.

    Driving cross country – prefer coffee in the morning, pop one of these after lunch to make sure you don’t get the “itis” and then more coffee later on.

    • Plinker762

      My back-country snowmobiling buddies carry 5 Hr Energy in case they need to make a difficult climb at the end of a day of hard riding.

    • ron73440

      Very handy to keep one or two in the car for long drives

      I did that once and got a speeding ticket.

      Probably my truck’s fault more than the 5hr drink.

      I really didn’t notice a difference from it.

    • Raven Nation

      5 hour energy doesn’t work for me. If I’m on the Colorado drive and start fading a little in the afternoon, a Monster seems to work well for me.

    • DrOtto

      5 hr energy didn’t used to work for me. Then I quit caffeine last year. Now, it works wonders for me on a long drive. All without the need to stockpile trucker bombs.

  19. Ted S.

    I got two walks in this week, one with the dog today, and one mid-week since I got off work early one day. I was going to do a simple in-and-out but there was a trail that got put in since the map I’ve got on my phone was made. Nice trail that goes in part by a small lake.

    Surprisingly, when I got to the trailhead on Tuesday there were two mountain bikers just getting off the trail. 90 minutes later when I got back to the car, there was another one just about to start.

    • Shpip

      I was going to do a simple in-and-out

      That’s probably at least as good a workout as a simple walk, and more fun, too. Follow STEVE SMITH for more tips, and by tips mean…

  20. Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

    . . . here’s hoping your stocking gets stuffed . . .

    Giggity.

    • Chafed

      BEAM gets it.

    • IRBE

      I think you spelled predictable wrong…which is weird.

    • Chafed

      The Kinks’ Father Christmas is arguably my favorite rock Christmas song.

  21. pistoffnick

    I did 40 minutes on the rowing machine every night this week except for Wednesday and Friday. Listening to Michael Malice podcasts makes it less boring.

    This weekend though, ouch. I made Bisquick sausage balls and pigs in a blanket yesterday for Christmas eve. Made baklava and peanut brittle today. I’m going to have to make more peanut brittle because Quality Control keeps going back for more samples. ;^)

  22. kinnath

    Justice!

    Senator Elizabeth Warren said on Sunday she had tested positive for COVID-19 and is experiencing mild symptoms.

    The Massachusetts Democrat, 72, said on Twitter she is vaccinated and boosted and regularly tested for COVID-19, and “while I tested negative earlier this week, today I tested positive with a breakthrough case.”

    • whiz

      A single positive test? There are false positives — I wouldn’t necessarily believe a single test.

      • kinnath

        Hey, don’t harsh my buzz.

      • Chafed

        It’s okay. She has 1/1024th Covid.

    • rhywun

      And she will blame the unclean.

      • grrizzly

        “As cases increase across the country, I urge everyone who has not already done so to get the vaccine and the booster as soon as possible – together, we can save lives,” Warren also wrote.

    • kinnath

      And Corey Booker too.

  23. Plinker762

    My Glibfit this year has be the CCPV. Caught in at the end of October and lost 15+ lbs. I’ve been so busy at work trying to catch up, I’ve lost a couple more lbs.

    • Chafed

      I’m pretty sure you can turn this into an infomercial and make a ton of money.

  24. Tundra

    Chafed!

    Energy drinks are disgusting. I’m with you – give me the coffee every time!

    Sorry about the mask thing. Supposedly it’s in effect here, too, but I just don’t comply. I’ve been in Costco twice now where they tried to give me a mask and I smiled and said no thanks. Today there were a bunch more people without than there were on Friday. It’s a good trend!

    That said, I’m very pleased that I bit the bullet and built my own gym. I thought I might miss the camaraderie, but I don’t. It’s nice to do as you describe: get in, focus, lift and get out.

    I’ll eat protein or consult Tundra on which ones to take.

    Honestly, if you eat a significant amount of meat, I’m not sure there is a good argument for supplementation beyond creatine and NAC.

    My week was ok. I missed a lifting session, but got my miles in. Yesterday’s hike was a really fun one up near Boulder, called Royal Arch. A short (3.5 mi) out and back, but 1500 feet of elevation and some fun scrambling to get to the summit. Definitely got the heart pumping! I think we’re gonna take the kids up there on Christmas day before we gorge on beef tenderloin!

    Have a great week, GlibFitters! Be thinking about 2022. Getting your health together might just be the most counter-culture, radical, fuck you to the establishment ever.

    • Ted S.

      I only went into a business once (supermarket) since POS Hochul’s ukase went into effect. I keep the mask below my nose because otherwise my glasses get fogged up and I feel panicky. One older guy had no mask but that seemed to be about it from what I saw. Of course, I was really more focused on getting the hell out of there.

      • rhywun

        I stocked up the day before so I haven’t been to the supermarket but I have hit the minimart twice and two different liquor stores once each, sans feedbag.

        No one blinked.

    • Ted S.

      Yesterday’s hike was a really fun one up near Boulder, called Royal Arch. A short (3.5 mi) out and back, but 1500 feet of elevation and some fun scrambling to get to the summit.

      Yeah, we don’t have that kind of elevation here in the Catskills.

      • Tundra

        It’s not always sheer elevation. Hiking in Maine was impressively challenging. My daughter: “Don’t these people know about switchbacks?”

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, I did a day hike on one of my vacation days in the summer. The last mile or so is undulating and rocky, and after nine miles or so out and back, that last mile was a killer.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’m seeing more and more passive resistance to our dictator here. Have had two businesses demand masks recently. Harbor Freight surprised me. The chains mostly don’t seem to care, even in the more leftist parts of the state.

    • Nephilium

      At the bar crawl yesterday, there were an unfortunate number of youts that were wearing “festive” masks to go from bar to bar. It’s a bar crawl… if you’re thinking it’s going to be a healthy way to spend your afternoon, you’ve got lots of other issues with your thought process.

      • Ted S.

        It’s virtue signaling.

      • The Hyperbole

        More and more mask are becoming a sartorial decision, at this point they are fashion accessories for some.

      • Nephilium

        Yep. Which means they will probably never go away in our lifetimes.

        Hopefully people will feel the same way about masks in twenty years as most people felt about leisure suits, neon, high shoulder pads, bell bottoms, etc…

      • The Hyperbole

        Fingers crossed, I have the same hope for neckties, baseball caps, and those ridiculous hipster beards and long goatees.

      • Nephilium

        /looks in the mirror

        Fuck off Hyperbole!

        And Merry Christmas.

      • pistoffnick

        “…and long goatees.”

        Harrumph!

      • rhywun

        I was going to say “men’s jewelry”, “hair gel”, and “tattoos” but… yeah.

      • l0b0t

        Looks in mirror at chin covered with a dashing, manly, luxurious Van Dyke; sighs with relief.

      • TARDis

        Which means they will probably never go away in our lifetimes.

        So I can say, “Sorry your face is ugly. Accept it. By definition, half of us are.”

    • Chafed

      Honestly, if you eat a significant amount of meat, I’m not sure there is a good argument for supplementation beyond creatine and NAC.

      *cough* vegetarian *cough* I still get plenty of protein.

      • Tundra

        Whoops.

        I’ll be back with a better regimen.

      • pistoffnick

        I went to a vegan hippie place to listen to my daughter sing on Satdee. I was VERY impressed with their food. I had vegan tacos. The protein was tempeh and beans. Very satisfying.

        /still like meat better

      • Chafed

        I appreciate you went with an open mind and were willing to give credit where it’s due.

      • MikeS

        I still get plenty of protein.

        Nah, I won’t.

      • Chafed

        I laid off Tundra telling us he eats plenty of meat.

  25. slumbrew

    My rowing and eating has been erratic, due to the season. Next week won’t be any better, but I’ll climb back up on the horse after that

    GlibFit appropriate: https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/lions

    • Chafed

      Right on the nose.

  26. Q Continuum

    Guy at work is crowing about how great SARMs are; I think he’s on Ostarine.

    I’m not really interested in them for myself, but wondering if any Glibs have tried them. He keeps going on and on about how the results are unbelievable with no side effects (if it seems too good to be true…).

    • Tundra

      I think most dudes would benefit more from TRT.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      I have no freakin’ idea what any of you are talking about.

    • Chafed

      What does this mean for those of use without degrees in biochemistry?

      • Q Continuum

        Selective Androgen Receptor Modulator.

        Supposedly, as the name indicates, selectively stimulates androgen receptors without all the nasty side effects of anabolic steroids (hair loss, testicular shrinkage, bitch tits, liver damage, etc. etc.). But I remain skeptical.

      • Chafed

        Thanks Q.

  27. Gustave Lytton

    This

    https://www.wfsb.com/fight-breaks-out-at-glastonbury-board-of-education-meeting/article_d155eb62-5d5d-11ec-adfc-ebc91b42e684.html

    is now making the rounds far from there as simply “schoolboard member punched” as part of the narrative being pushed. Watching the actual video, he’s hardly an innocent victim, was a willing participant in escalating the dispute, and initiated the physical assault, though possibly justified (but not justified under the current sissy culture).

  28. R C Dean

    Two cups in the morning, and that’s it. I used to drink coffee all day, but it started triggering migraines.

  29. hayeksplosives

    Come on, Ravens! Get off your butts and put the hurt to Green Bay!!

    • Ted S.

      Packer ST are awful. Like historically bad.

    • pistoffnick

      “…put the hurt to Green Bay!!”

      WHAT! I don’t think we can be friends, hayek.

      • Nephilium

        /looks at the Christmas day games.

        we’ll just have to be frenemies that day.

        Go Browns.

    • rhywun

      Why in fresh hell didn’t they just go for overtime?!

      Must be “analytics” like CPRM was talking about the other day.

      • whiz

        IDK, but I liked the way it turned out.

      • Nephilium

        Because the Ravens head coach appears to enjoy losing games by trying for the win instead of the tie. It brings joy to my bitter brown and orange heart.

      • rhywun

        Heh. No skin in that game for me so I rooted for the one with the worse record by default.

      • Nephilium

        If the Browns manage to win against the Raiders tomorrow, then we’ll be in range of winning the division, with our last three games being against the Packers, Stillers, and Bengals. Besides, I’ll always root against the Stillers and Ravens.

      • rhywun

        The only teams I will always root against are The Tom Brady Team and the Cowboys. I don’t have enough history with this stupid game to form that many opinions.

      • rhywun

        Oh and probably the Patriots.

      • ron73440

        I used to think I hated the Ravens until I watched them play the Brady Patriots.

        I still dislike the ravens, but there is another level to Patriot hate.

      • pistoffnick

        “…always root against the Stillers…”

        My brutha!

        The only football player I dislike more than Big Ben is Tom Brady.

      • Nephilium

        While I hate the Stillers, I respect them and their culture. When Art Modell *spit* stole our team, the only owner that voted against the move was the Stillers owners.

        The Ravens are the most hated team in Cleveland at this point, as they are the stolen Browns.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        My wife and I once saw a car with handicap plates and a huge raiders sign on the back, so I said to her:

        “Look, a social retard.”

  30. DrOtto

    Speaking of mask mandates, we lost our go-to for Chicago style deep dish pizza. They went out of business. Pretty sure the manager actively helped kill the business as she was a heavy mask proponent and would literally wait outside the restrooms to remind customers to mask on their way back to the table. Went their once during pandemic only to have that kill the mood and tried to do a carryout another time only to get the same attitude just to walk in the carryout entrance and get shit for not masking. I’ve got mixed feelings on this one.

    • Sensei

      “ I’ve got mixed feelings on this one.”

      Many of us feel that way about Chicago style pizza.

    • rhywun

      I’ve got mixed feelings on this one.

      I wouldn’t. It is long past time anyone put up with this bullshit.

      Good riddance. There are plenty other restaurants in the sea.

  31. hayeksplosives

    Rhywun spake above of his proclivity for a mix of Mountain Dew and vodka.

    I’m thinking that particular drink deserves a name of its own but am coming up short.

    Mean Greenie?

    Chernobyl Spring Water?

    Any thoughts?

    • Sensei

      Antifreeze?

    • rhywun

      The Insomniator

      • Chafed

        Lol. Or The Inseminator depending on who is drinking it and how much.

    • Nephilium

      It’s a two part drink, like a gin and tonic, or a scotch and soda. So it would be a vodka and Dew (or vodka Dew), although I’m still surprised that the Red Bull and vodka trend is still ongoing in my area.

      • rhywun

        Red Bull and vodka

        ?

      • Q Continuum

        White girl speedballs.

      • TARDis

        Your tolerance is high.

        ??????? Fairly accurate timeline.

      • Nephilium

        Quite a few places have (for the last several years) charged full price for the Red Bull and the shot of vodka, while only using half the can as a way to try to steer people away from a two part that can’t be made off the gun.

      • kinnath

        Also — Booger’s Booze (Cocktail); Dew-Driver (Cocktail); Dragon Piss #2 (Shooter); Nail Gun (Cocktail); New Castle Voodoo (Cocktail); Russian Mountain (Cocktail); VoDew (Cocktail); Voodoo (Cocktail)

      • rhywun

        Ha “Dew-Driver” works. I like it. I’ll probably keep using Vodka Dew.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      I like “antifreeze”

      My buddy and I called Russian vodka and cranberry a “Red Flag” to differentiate between Russian and regular vodka. Never caught on.

      He also came up with the name of “Sore Pussy” for the drink of Bailey’s, cream, and peppermint schnapps.

      “I don’t remember what I was drinking last night but I woke up this morning with a sore pussy”

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Senator Elizabeth Warren said on Sunday she had tested positive for COVID-19

    Munchausen Syndrome?

    • hayeksplosives

      I dunno. Her lethargy, headache, muscle aches, and loss of taste might just be due to the epic smack down she received from Elon Musk this week.

      • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

        Ya know, I wouldn’t be surprised if she DIDN’T have, but was just looking for sympathy after that ass-kicking.

    • rhywun

      “Imma git me a booster shot!”

      • Sean

        ?

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      Not surprising. Native Americans are especially vulnerable to new diseases.

      • hayeksplosives

        So she’s 1/1024 percent susceptible?

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Well, yes. If it had been all of her, she’d be dead already. Y’know, in a perfect world.

      • R C Dean

        I’m using that if this comes up.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Rhywun spake above of his proclivity for a mix of Mountain Dew and vodka.

    One of my college roommates (also on the football team) used to drink vodka and gatorade.

    • TARDis

      Hydrate while dehydrating, good plan.

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      I once had an… interesting… night drinking Jim Beam and Squirt.

  34. Yusef drives a Kia

    I used Meijer ingredients and brewed a Belgian ale that is aboot 9% Abv, Chocolate and Coffee notes, my first brew, and cheap!
    Food stamps for Beer!

    • Nephilium

      What did you use for malt? Extract?

      I wasn’t aware that Meijer sold that. They just moved into our area, and only two locations so far.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Raw barley, I malted it and roasted it myself, kind of Golden, I did buy yeast and Hops.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I used Brown sugar, cane sugar, and some Raspberries

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      The most basic instinict, and after 40 years? Shoot yourself

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      She probably said “But you’re *icky*. BTW, are you gonna go food shopping and fill up the fridge again?”  /*bats eyelids coquetteishly*/

      • TARDis

        Deidre is flat out bullshite.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Cuck of the first order I suspect

    • Ted S.

      You lived with your mom for 18 years and never had sex with *her*….

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Well maybe you Ted………

      • Tundra

        You had sex with TedS’ mom?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Well, she was hot once…..

      • Ted S.

        Don’t stick it in crazy.

      • Chafed

        This is all straight out of Steel Panther. Good job gentlemen.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Glad you weren’t offended Ted

    • creech

      They don’t have hookers in the UK?

  35. Tulip

    Question for Neph – I saw a cyclist on a toll road. How do they charge cyclists? Same as motorcycles?

    • Nephilium

      I wouldn’t know. The only toll roads in this area are the turnpike, which I wouldn’t even imagine trying to take a bicycle onto. I’ve seen a couple toll roads while driving around that did have a cyclist toll listed among the tolls. In fairness, the person on a bicycle won’t be adding much to the wear and tear on the road.

      • rhywun

        I think they’re not allowed on such roads around here. I’ve never seen it.

      • whiz

        Usually there’s a min speed, like 40 MPH.

    • Tulip

      This wasn’t an interstate. It was a two lane, but still a toll.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    SURGE

    Instead of lining up to see Santa or waiting to buy Christmas gifts, New Yorkers stood for hours Saturday to get COVID-19 tests as cases continued to surge.

    Something something self-licking ice cream cone.

    • rhywun

      Gotta jack those numbers up.

      • Penguin

        Lookit all these CASES! CASES! CASES!

        So how many deaths have there been?

        *(mumbles incoherently)*

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        So how many deaths have there been?

        Like, compared with Alec Baldwin.

      • rhywun

        Who knows; and I wouldn’t trust any numbers they chose to present anyway.

      • Penguin

        rhywun – I wouldn’t be surprised if they classified a motorcyclist who got hit by a truck going the wrong direction down a highway as a COVID death if he tested positive. I think Omicron is still 0 -for-whatever in the US, or at least, statistically indistinguishable from that.

        Hobbit – at this point, I’m just waiting to see what they’ll use to officially get him off the hook.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Who is freeloading off of whom?

    Democratic Sen. Elizabeth Warren is asking voters for donations after a high-profile Twitter spat with billionaire Elon Musk in which she accused the Tesla CEO of “freeloading.”

    Warren’s verified Facebook page is running a Facebook Ads campaign referencing her ongoing Twitter feud with Musk and asking donors to “chip in” to combat billionaires like the Tesla CEO.

    “Elon Musk is whining like a baby to his millions of Twitter followers. He must be scared because he knows what every other billionaire in America does: that he’s been freeloading off of working people, and that I won’t back down from a fight,” one of the ads reads. “Will you chip in $10 to help Warren Democrats pass a wealth tax, keep the 1% in check and fight for working people?”

    Warren had criticized Musk on Monday, tweeting her desire to change the “rigged tax code so The Person of the Year will actually pay taxes and stop freeloading off everyone else” following Musk’s announcement as TIME Person of the Year.

    I, uh….

    • Chafed

      Grifter is going to grift. At this point, it’s a reflex.

    • pistoffnick

      She is sumpthin, int she?

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        She’s a real live Ayn Rand character.

      • rhywun

        Nikki’s got nothing on her.

    • ron73440

      Just when I thought she was as contemptible as possible, she proves me wrong.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Democratic Sen. Elizabeth Warren

        What a vile creature.

        I honestly cannot see a reconciliation between statists and freedom-lovers at this point. Neither side is going to blink. The consequences are not good.

    • MikeS

      I just spent less than 2 minutes searching and learned that Fauxchahontas is a 1%er herself. Why doesn’t she suggest that her deranged followers spend that $10 on a Christmas present for their kids, or maybe donate it to a worthy cause while she spends her own fucking money to “fight”?

      Cunte.

      • ron73440

        It’s different, she earns her money, unlike Musk who has never done anything to earn his.

      • Nephilium

        I think you mean she’s entitled to her money, unlike Musk who just earned it.

      • Chafed

        Neph nailed it.

      • Nephilium

        /walks off basking in the honor and respect.

      • Sean

        Like a Roman.

        ‘Tis the season.

      • creech

        She’s asking people to “fight?” Really? Isn’t that wording exactly what she is trying to get Trump in trouble for Jan. 6th because he asked his supporters to “fight like hell?” She’s preaching Insurrection and should be locked up in a camp (or, in her case, a rez).

      • Trigger Hippie

        Nope! After an initial chuckle I made it about twenty seconds in then had to tap out.

      • MikeS

        I made it over a minute!

        (my speakers were turned off)

      • Chafed

        You have reached Ted’S level. Thank goodness she flamed out.

  38. Shpip

    Definitely not Glibfit, but today the missus fixed a batch of greens, so I appropriated some of the juice and made one of these.

    Used vodka as the base spirit, because the only gins I have in the house right now are Hendrick’s and Monkey 47, and I’m not putting collard & fatback water in either of those.

    Next cocktail gets a teaspoon of homemade greens vinegar (apple cider vinegar steeped with Carolina reapers for a couple of hours) to see if that improves things. I’m suspecting that it will.

    • Sean

      “apple cider vinegar steeped with Carolina reapers”

      ?

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Two days after her back-and-forth with Musk, Warren launched her Facebook Ads campaign targeting the billionaire and requesting donations, according to the date of the ads.

    The ads feature a link to an ActBlue donation portal sponsored by Warren Democrats, a political action committee supporting Warren, which shows a message reading “your contribution will benefit Elizabeth Warren.” Another ad directs to a sign-up page asking readers to “add your name if you agree it’s time for a wealth tax,” with a footer message reading “paid for by Warren Democrats.”

    Give me money, so I can run ads asking you to give me money.”

  40. EvilSheldon

    Not exactly Glibfit, but I won the local 2-gun match. Pretty much like winning a pickup basketball game in the park, but somehow less cool…

    In my squad today:
    3 Santa hats.
    1 hideous Christmas sweater (seriously, this thing was vile.)
    1 Steyr AUG A3 (Die Hard reference #1.)
    1 Heckler and Koch P7M8 (sadly not chromed, but still Die Hard reference #2.)
    1 Laugo Alien pistol, first one I’ve ever seen in the wild.

    Good times.

    • ron73440

      Sounds like a good time.

      Congratulations

    • Q Continuum

      “Steyr AUG A3”

      Always wanted one of those, kinda hard to come by now at a decent price.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Fun!

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      HK P7. That has always been on the list, ever since I saw Wild Geese II. And I am not even a southpaw.

    • R C Dean

      Some interesting ideas on that handgun.

      Way too spendy, though.

      • Chafed

        How much is it?

      • EvilSheldon

        Starts at $4000, which is about the going rate for a top-shelf high-capacity competition pistol. Whether the Alien can compete with existing top-shelf competition pistols, remains to be seen.

      • R C Dean

        Four grand.

      • Chafed

        Holy guacamole. Thanks.

    • Chafed

      Cute cat.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        22 lb no fat, she is just huge, my Bear Kittah,

    • rhywun

      So many wires to chew! ⚡️

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Nah, she just likes to eat,

    • pistoffnick

      You have a pretty pussy, Yusef!
      I had a black cat named Ebony many years ago. I still miss her.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        A big old Black pussy, I guess it works,
        /Sophie love!

      • pistoffnick

        I currently have a seal point named Bean (aka Chula Longcorn, the last king of Siam, who introduced Siamese cats to America with a gift to a sitting president). She bit me today, yet I still love her.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I feed Sophie, and she swats my hand as I do, ungrateful animules!

    • rhywun

      To be fair, that’s not as cringe as Stephen Colbert’s dancing hypodermic needles.

      • Chafed

        Let’s call it a draw.

  41. Sensei

    Proving once again never to make a live action version of a manga that has a widely loved anime.

    https://youtu.be/iSO-KRyaxyg

    xxxHolic was one of the first anime I watched.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      I don’t know the difference between manga and anime. But I haz a sad that Netflix cancelled Cowboy Bebop.

      • Sensei

        Manga is a comic. Probably 80% of anime start life as a comic. Especially today.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        And anime is the cartoon?

      • Sensei

        Correct.

      • straffinrun

        Manga originally refers to printed pics. Anime is animation.

      • ron73440

        If you thought the show was good, I’m assuming you’ve never seen the anime?

        The show had a completely different tone from the anime.

        It’s like Netflix read a wikipedia entry and went from there.

      • kinnath

        Correct. Never saw the anime (although it’s now in my queue on Netflix). And I rather enjoyed the show.

        Critical Drinker has a video on how thoroughly the production team went out of their way antagonize the fanbase before the show even aired.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        Correct. I never saw the anime. The show was a pretty good space western. No idea what the anime was.

      • ron73440

        I can’t recommend the anime enough.

        The only good thing about the new show is it got me to watch the anime for the first time in many years.

        It’s a travesty, what Netflix did with Gren , Judy, Faye, and especially Vicious.

        Vicious in the anime was a scary badass that you didn’t see often, but when he showed up, he made an impression.

  42. pistoffnick

    I just finished watching “Dune”. I was unimpressed. Yeah, yeah, stunning visuals, but where is the plot? It suffers from “Star Warz” syndrome.
    Fight me!

    • kinnath

      The plot is in the book you appear to have not read.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        What a slog, never again,

      • pistoffnick

        “The plot is in the book you appear to have not read.”

        NOT a ringing endorsement of the movie.

        No, I have not read the book.

      • kinnath

        NOT a ringing endorsement of the movie.

        A mere statement of fact.

        My sister, who has not read the book, hated the movie.

        I am not sure how anyone who has not read the book can follow what is going on.

      • slumbrew

        Best to think of the movie as fan service for the legions of book fans

    • Urthona

      Didn’t watch, but now you are dead to me now.

      • Urthona

        uh whoops

    • straffinrun

      Anybody see the new Matrix?

      • kinnath

        The new John Wick crossover movie?

      • rhywun

        I just saw the new commercial and thought it was 1999 again.

      • Sensei

        Is it actually playing?

      • straffinrun

        It is here (I believe). Was thinking about skipping work today.

      • one true athena

        Opens in the US on Wed.

      • Chafed

        I think it gets released in a few days.

      • l0b0t

        I first read that as new Mannix, and I worried another beloved franchise was about to get ruined by modernity.

  43. straffinrun

    I once went through a case of Red Bull over a 24 hour non stop hacking of the NSA mainframe. Made it play tic tac to against itself until it realized it needed to create a virus if it wanted to destroy the world.

  44. Yusef drives a Kia

    Peace out kids, Yusef has a car wash to deal with,
    Cheers!

    • Sensei

      Good luck!

  45. Chipping Pioneer

    OT: I am curious as to how many people here came over from ToS, and how many came directly here.

    • kinnath

      I can from ToS during the glibening.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        The Glibbening seems like it should have its own holiday, and on Glibbening Eve we gather around the fire while one of TPTB regales us with stories of Glibbenings past.

      • kinnath

        I was a regular at ToS since from around 2004 or 2005 until the glibening.

        One of my greatest regrets is giving those fuckers money.

      • rhywun

        I probably got more value in free books and magazines than I actually gave them.

      • dbleagle

        I migrated over as part of the Glibening as well.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think I got more books and swag from them after I stopped subscribing/donating.

        I remember when Weigl was seen as a one off. Turns out many/most were similar.

      • rhywun

        I think I got more books and swag from them after I stopped subscribing/donating.

        Yup. I got like two years of magazines and three or four books after I stopped giving them money.

    • slumbrew

      From ToS, eventually

      • whiz

        This, it took me a while to realize Glibland was here.

      • Fourscore

        I hung on TOS for a few weeks, saw that many were no longer there and wondered why. Checked here and never went back. I was a long time subscriber to Reason (and Liberty) mags but the Glibs are way, way better, with 3-4 new articles daily. Hats off to TPTB that saw a new course of action and made it happened.

    • Gender Traitor

      From ToS. I never go there anymore.

    • MikeS

      I came over from Reason a week or so after Glibbening Day.

    • straffinrun

      I came from Stormfront after they cucked out.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      I’m like the guy during the Rapture wondering where everyone went. Missed the original call, figured it out a few weeks later. Seldom go to TOS and, when I do, I regret it.

      • rhywun

        Took me weeks too. Maybe I was sussing out whether it had legs or not.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Same. Some of the names behind it convinced me this was a serious effort not just a honeypot. Switzy was one.

    • DrOtto

      I was brand new to ToS and all of a sudden the original, not Delta or Omicron variant, of TDS hit. It took a few days to find where to the cool kids landed, but I tagged along like a good lackey.

      • Festus

        #metoo

    • Urthona

      I came here after ToS was terrible and I asked wtf was up with that and someone emailed me.

    • mikey

      I was hanging out at the TOS and started to realize “this has become the worst chat room ever -whu happened? Someone should start a new one.”
      And someone did.

    • Chafed

      I’m a TOS refugee.

    • KSuellington

      I came from the old site a couple weeks after the exodus. I originally found the Reason comments section after finding the site when I was looking up examples of environmental propaganda for a debate I was having with a lefty friend. They had an article on that British tv commercial where the wrongthink kids get exploded for not towing the lion on the global warming. I emailed him and he made fun of the comment section, I realized I found some sort of internet treasure. Then they did the user name registration thing and it went slowly downhill from there. They didn’t appreciate the peanut gallery, which had become the best part of the site. I also regret giving them money.

    • robodruid

      I used to go there, don’t really remember how I found out about this place.
      I rarely go back to TOS. It lacks the seriousness of the words I see here.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Survey says: TOS.

        I remember when HnR launched.

        I do hope you will pick up your dog’s poop from my lawn…

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      I came from ToS, but I probably only commented once or twice. But, I do remember the days of UrKobald and ArtPOG. Such were the days.

  46. Chipping Pioneer

    Autocorrect is intentionally antagonizing me. It’s getting every. single. word. wrong.

  47. straffinrun

    Is it proved they never offered Maxwell a plea cuz that would be fuct up.

  48. hayeksplosives

    Norah Jones delivers in “Have yourself a merry little Christmas.” Dec 24, 2020 Covid edition; just her and an upright piano.

    https://youtu.be/2QePAJHFu6k

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      A throwback to the sane Dems of the ‘90s. I miss those guys.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I member, sorta.

    • hayeksplosives

      Oh snap.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Well Covid takes those days off too, it’s a very lazy virus. Sort of reveals the farce of it all, doesn’t it?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “official congressional delegation visit to Ukraine”
      If he was doing a sex tour of Kiev, and knowing these people that was probably part of the itinerary, he’s lucky if that’s all he picked up.

    • robodruid

      Good Morning Glibs as well.
      Must have been a “super spreader” (Congress)
      Could be the start of a great year?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        How’s the red sod (IIRC)?

        WP Brooksed me, I swear…

      • Gender Traitor

        Must have been a “super spreader” (Congress)

        Congress has always been a manure spreader. No – wait. That’s something that performs a useful function.

        Good morning, ‘bodru, TO’G, Stinky, Sean, and l0 (who’s making his way downthread at last sighting.)

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Morning!

      • l0b0t

        Good morning. I’m really enjoying that mega mix of Ricky Gervais’ Golden Globe quips.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Ey oop, b0t.

        Just before the wheels fell off. I should learn it by heart, like the odd dude I met at Lowe’s who said he was memorizing the John Galt speech.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Mornin’ all. Merry Christmas, Jason, I see you got a nice present from the locals in Kiev.

    • Zwak, All dressed up in his ridiculous seersucker suit

      But is he eating crow?

  49. Toxteth O'Grady

    I suspect there’s a joke in there, which I will leave to you fine gentlemen.

    • l0b0t

      I took a high pressure shower head from the barracks when I left Army. I’ve installed it in every house I’ve lived in since 1995. I love that thing and will NEVER willingly part with it.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        A big sunflower showerhead can be disastrous in a narrow tub.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (no prurient import implied)

  50. Festus

    Mornin’ Glibbies! It’s been a strange weekend. Got my second dose of the poison on Saturday. She poked my shoulder and then it took about five minutes to stanch the bleeding. “Oh Dear, that’s not supposed to happen!” Then the injection site turned into a big pimple looking thing immediately. “This is fine!” says I. So I go out to the waiting area and notice that all of the people coming in after me are shepherding along crying little tykes. Child endangerment. Poor little things were 5-6 years old. I held my tongue. I go to my second site and say “Fuck it”! I’m taking advantage of this.” So I pretend that I’m having a reaction and do about a third of my job and clock out. Still got paid the OT. Went home, got drunk and slept for 14 hours.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Morning, Festy. I sure like your last two sentences.

    • Ghostpatzer

      Mornin’, Festy!

      So I pretend that I’m having a reaction and do about a third of my job and clock out. Still got paid the OT

      That is some proper shitlording. You rock!

      • Festus

        Thanks! It only seemed right and proper. 29 down, 4 to go.

    • Festus

      Before I got home I stopped at the beer store and the little South Asian girl seemed over-happy to see me, asking me if I was working tonight and such. I’m thinking, “Gee the staff here sure seem friendly!” Took me about 15 seconds to clock to the fact that she is someone that I’ve been working with and around for over a year. I didn’t recognize her because she wasn’t wearing a mask. This is the new normal.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I hope you are cultivating your list of grievances, and will have redy by Thursday.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        *have it ready

      • Festus

        That’s what the alcoholism is for. I leave my grievances in the empties bin and here on the Glibs.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        clink

        I thought 25.

        We and Rand and the pole hope you will attend.

        Gotta go do stuff, GD it…

  51. Festus

    Had another one of the staff ask me last night if my helper was my daughter. That’ll jerk you into age reality right quick! WTF? I’m 35! I’ll always be 35…

    • UnCivilServant

      Look, if you get started early, at 35 you can have adult children.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s a good lesson for everyone in how the cops are not your friends.

  52. Festus

    “Let’s go camping!’