The Joy of Skiing

by | Feb 22, 2022 | Fitness, Pastimes, Sports | 253 comments

A hot fabulous mess at the top of Union Peak, Copper Mountain COI first strapped on boots and skis in the winter of ’79-’80 at Cochran’s. I couldn’t figure out how to use the tow rope, slow down, or stop, despite having a lesson from some of the best instructors Vermont has to offer. Seriously. Cochran’s has produced thousands of future ski enthusiasts and a couple of Olympians. For some reason, their teachings didn’t sink in with me and I spent a miserable day whining and crying on the slopes. I thought I’d had enough of skiing.

But when you live in Vermont, and the winters are cold and dark, you really need something to do all day on weekends and holidays. So I gave it another shot, at Bolton Valley. No lessons, no tow ropes. Just a 7-year-old and her dad and real chair lifts. Something clicked and I just…started skiing.

I was able to ski blue (i.e. intermediate) trails pretty much right off the bat. That’s over 40 years of going with gravity. So what’s so great about being out in the cold and snow, sliding down a mountain with two boards strapped to your feet? (I would say what’s not so great about all those things).

The Mental

Ultra focus. You ever have those times when you’re doing a task or activity, or just relaxing, and your brain just sort of loses track of everything except the task at had? I fid this happens to me when I do activities that are both a) repetitive and b) require loads of concentration. Imagine being on a gentle snowy slope with a consistent downhill pitch, just making turns. Turn left. Turn right. Turn left. Turn right. In a steady rhythm, over and over again. I can name only one other activity that provides me that kind of focus*.

Brain bleach. The amount of concentration, repetition, and focus is like a literal mind cleanser. To come out of a deep reverie and realize that you have just gone to a whole new mental state is incredible. If I have the perfect conditions on the perfect ski slope, it will recharge my batteries, both mental and physical, to nearly full. Anxieties and worries that have flown away on the slopes tend to stay away longer and longer the more I ski. That sense of total relaxation and ease with the world can’t be undersold. Bolton Valley remains my favorite ski resort to this day because of the Lower Wilderness Liftline trail and the near-nirvana experience it provides.

Atmospherics. There’s nothing quite like a beer and a bowl of chili in front of a fire after a few hours on the slopes. Nuff said?

The Physical

Turn baby, turn. Once you move beyond pizza and French fries, you learn the parallel turn. This is when you can start to play around with speed and control. Many people start skiing the steeps when they get to this point, as it is the ultimate test of the speed/control balance. I like to ski the kiddie slopes, and make sweeping, long turns. I’ll tell you why. There is a moment – a split second – going into the beginning of the turn, where you unbend your knees. This momentarily lifts you up to a state of near-weightlessness, allowing your skis to turn and point the other direction. Any roller coaster enthusiast will tell you the ultimate experience is feeling the negative g-force. On a good run, with long, rhythmic turns, you can experience that zero gravity moment over and over again.

Fitness. Yes, skiing is great exercise. It is a calorie-burning machine, running ~300-400 calories/hour for someone that skis beginner to intermediate groomed “cruiser” trails (like me). It is lower-impact than jogging (unless you’re one of these guys) and more fun than an elliptical. It’s also an activity you can enjoy even with a few extra pounds around the midsection (like me). The most huffing and puffing I do at the slopes is carry my skis from the lodge to the lift. That being said, as great as skiing is for fitness, precious few of us get to do it on the type of regular basis to make it a daily part of a fitness routine.

I leave you with a hosted trip down the west side of Copper Mountain.

*Shooting guns, you prevert.

About The Author

KK, Plump & Unfiltered

KK, Plump & Unfiltered

In this house, we believe: Bigfoot is real; I am going to kiss him; He will be my lover; I will be the little spoon; Me and Bigfoot will fuck and you can't stop us

253 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    I’ve only gotten the chance to try cross-country skiing. And then only in high school.

    I just haven’t had the time or budget to try again.

    • UnCivilServant

      What would you recommend for someone who has little time and whose budget is largely depleted by other expensive hobbies?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Disc golf,

      • Tundra

        Hiking.

      • EvilSheldon

        You can’t go wrong with walking in the woods.

        Although what I get out of hiking is the exact opposite of what I get out of the speedy stuff – a complete diffusion of focus.

      • UnCivilServant

        Yeah, my mind wanders everywhere but where I am when I’m hiking.

      • Tundra

        Agreed.

        Although more technical hikes can offer the same rush and focus.

      • R C Dean

        I find the mental difference between hiking and hunting to be striking. Both involve wandering around the countryside, but I find that hunting provides a very different level of focus and interest.

      • Nephilium

        I prefer riding. It’s rare that I can let focus go there regardless if I’m road or trail riding.

    • rhywun

      cross-country skiing

      Or, “skiing with all the fun taken out of it.”

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s why people invented the biathlon.

      • EvilSheldon

        Nah. The Biathlon was invented to practice shooting Commies on the move…

      • robc

        Did the Finns even need practice? Isn’t shooting commies and nazis innate?

      • Gender Traitor

        skiing with all the fun broken bones taken out of it

        FTFY

      • robc

        I have never skied with a helmet, but when I restart, I am wearing a helmet.

      • Gender Traitor

        I have never skied – never had the opportunity. I have also never broken a bone. (::knocks wood veeeeery gently::) Coincidence? You decide.

      • Nephilium

        When I was younger the parents took me and my sister out cross country skiing on a regular basis (enough that we had our own skis). I never really liked it. My sister just tried to take her two boys out, and was mentioning it was a lot harder then she remembered.

      • MikeS

        Hey…me too. I think we’ve established a correlation here. Science!

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I have never skied…but I did break my arm playing Little League.

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    Being a sk8tr, I rode snowboards, waaay back in the ’70s when they were still experimental.
    and those parabolic skies? just snowboard shapes,
    And now we go play disc in an ice storm just because!
    Great article KK!

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      an ice storm

      Its NASTY out. I got stuck in my driveway yesterday morning. More snow and wind today. Credit union was closed.

      *checks conditions on Captiva Island, Florida*
      70 and sunny
      *yearns for sand between my toes rather than snow *

      At least it keeps the riffraff like Tundra and MikeS out.

      • MikeS

        I just did a quick weather comparison between our two locals…boo-hoo you whiner.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m bringing crampons, and the window is closing and we don’t start for 45 minutes or so.
        I love the insanity aspect, and skip shots!

      • MikeS

        Have fun Yusef. You are starting to wear me down and get me thinking about disk golf. I might give it a shot when things warm up.

      • UnCivilServant

        Shooting those discs in the air has got to be at least as hard as skeet.

      • robc

        I was thinking the other day, a cool event like the biathalon would be ice skeeting. Combo of ice skating and skeet shooting.

        Short track would be hell, especially the relays.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I would like to see you try and shoot my disc when I throw a drive, way faster than skeet.
        But really, I would love to try that, maybe springtime!

      • MikeS

        OK, how about this twist; You have a team. One is the disk thrower, the other the shotgunner. The disker basically just plays disk golf, except every fairway has a gunner position and they try to shoot the other team’s disk out of the air.

        Need a name. Skolf? Shotgolf?

      • MikeS

        Geet?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I like it MikeS! if we could find the right place….

      • Ted S.

        Have you tried taking Midol for the crampons?

      • Tundra

        It’s actually Minne-like here today. WC was -14 when I took the dogs for a walk this morning.

        I want 50s back, goddammit!

      • robc

        -2, -17 WC here this morning. Colder tomorrow morning.

      • MikeS

        WC is currently -45F here. Air is -12F. Negative 20’s overnight last night and the next three nights. This winter has been a real fucker.

      • Gustave Lytton ????

        Early unseasonably hable storm but otherwise milder than usual here.

  3. Not Adahn

    *Shooting guns, you prevert.

    You should really try practical shooting. There’s something about the added stressor of the clock that really sends the brain into overdrive.

    • UnCivilServant

      Stressor? I get very zen when trying for time. There is less stress standing in the box than my everyday life.

      Maybe it’s the casual nature of the shooting events I’ve been going to.

      • EvilSheldon

        Or, you’re doing something right.

        My best practical shooting runs, it didn’t feel like I was moving fast at all.

      • Not Adahn

        Yes, it’s a stressor. That doesn’t mean you feel stressed because of it.

        Not to go all hippie-woo, but I definitely enter an altered state of consciousness when the first sight picture comes into alignment. It is euphoric.

    • Drake

      I plan to get into practical shooting for recreation after the move to a free state.

  4. slumbrew

    I never really took to skiing – East coast snow being less than ideal, as KK knows.

    I understand the parabolic skis are much easier to use than the ones I learned on; don’t think I’m going to take up skiing in my 50s’, but who knows?

    • Tundra

      They really are easier. We went out to Big Sky and I rented some instead of snowboarding. It was really fun and took me a half a run to figure them out.

      Do it!

    • juris imprudent

      They are amazingly easier on the knees, which as we get older get less forgiving about excessive use.

    • robc

      don’t think I’m going to take up skiing in my 50s’, but who knows?

      I am. I skied in my younger days. but all my skiing has been in Indiana to date, and does that really count? I haven’t skied since the mid 90s, maybe 94 or 95? But now that I am Colorado, I plan to start from scratch. Plus my 6 year old wants to learn.

      We haven’t had the chance to go this year yet, but once we get in our house (10 more days!), I plan on getting in at least 1 day before this year is over. Not sure where, yet. Someplace reasonable for a day trip. Then next year, a real ski vacation. We are thinking Beaver Creek. A bit pricey, but its a good family place and lots of green slopes for us noobs.

      If any Colorado experienced skiers want to make suggestions, please do.

    • The Hyperbole

      I tapered off in my thirties and quit al together when the cost of equipment and lift tickets got too damn high, When my nieces and nephews started (about 15 years later) I went with them twice, I didn’t have my old equipment with me so I rented and all they offered were those stubby shaped skis and I hated it, totally different style of skiing. If I ever get back into it I’m taking my old skid, although I need new boots and bindings and the last time I tried the ski shop wouldn’t put the bindings on my old skis so I’ll have to do that myself.

    • pedantic

      I’ve noticed lots of folk with older knees find snowboarding to be pretty good to transition to. Having your knees locked in the same direction does seem to make catastrophic leg injuries much less likely (I’m sure there is some injury tradeoff there though). And this is to say nothing of the far-more-comfortable boots we get to wear!
      That said, I am a hardcore knuckle dragger and definitely biased.

  5. rhywun

    High school Ski Club was so much fun that I joined it once again during a college break.

    And then I never skied again 🙁

  6. Tundra

    Fabulous, KK!

    I loved the narration on the video.

    There is a moment – a split second – going into the beginning of the turn, where you unbend your knees. This momentarily lifts you up to a state of near-weightlessness, allowing your skis to turn and point the other direction.

    I like this. I grew up skiing, but took up snowboarding as an old man. Once I stopped the spectacular falls and understood the weight transfer, the long, sweeping turns became almost trance-like.

    It’s sad, though, that I moved out here and haven’t skied once.

    Thanks for the article!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I got to play at Monarch once in the three years I lived in CO,
      sad

    • robc

      Colorado transplant ski meet-up?

      • Tundra

        Yes. Late season sunshine, FTW!

  7. EvilSheldon

    What you say about ultra focus definitely strikes a chord with me. It’s exactly the same thing I get with USPSA, motorcycling, and even a little bit with the guitar. Intense concentration at pre-conscious speed.

    Do you ever have that feeling when you’re bombing a real technical run and it almost feels like you’re going in slow motion, then you get to the bottom and you realize it’s only been like ten seconds?

    • db

      Yep. Skiing and practical shooting for me a similar in the level of focus required. I think it’s why I do well at both.

    • waffles

      omg yes. the ultra focus is real. I didn’t notice it as much until I started recording the more difficult and crazy stuff. The perceived time is so much longer than actual. It’s incredible how many unconscious micro decisions you rapidly make while in ultra focus.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      I have missed the entry to the lift many times because I was just in the zone. Like, when you have to straighten out and gain speed to get to the lift line? I sometimes forget to do that, and I end up having to skate & pole.

  8. db

    Awesome, KK.

    I’ve only been out two days this season so far, but hopefully I’ll get up to Peak ‘n’ Peek once or twice in the next few weeks.

    The “focus” aspect is a lot of fun. It’s hard to do much more than enjoy the experience when you’re skiing. It takes mental and physical focus that helps keep your mind from wandering too far.

    Last year I spent a bunch of time on the rowing maching and doing leg presses to strengthen my legs and knees and I found it really improved my skiing this year. I am a pretty highly skilled skier but my downfall has in the last few years been lack of leg strength and stamina. It takes a lot of strength to truly use a high skill level. This year is the best it’s been since I was regularly skiing and cycling back in college.

    I found I was able to take a much more aggressive stance and have much better control this year. I’m hoping to keep it up and maybe take some lessons on bumps next year. I’ve never been very good in the bumps but have always wanted to ski confidently in them. I can handle them, but not as smoothly as I want. I’ve convinced myself that strength and stamina training will get me there.

  9. juris imprudent

    Ah, you remind me of how disorienting it is to ski with the wind blowing the snow, making it near impossible to read as you go.

  10. creech

    Isn’t it a good way for women to hook up with Tiger Woods?

    • waffles

      It takes a lifetime to be that good at skiing, even then.

  11. ron73440

    I tried snowboarding once on a deployment to Japan.

    Our MWR (Morale Welfare and Recreation) Department organized a trip to a ski lodge on Mt. Fuji.

    I went snowboarding and SUCKED at it.

    If we had video cameras, it would have made awesome footage.

    I had many spectacular wipeouts.

    By the end of the day I was learning that you only need a little lean to turn and was having a good time.

    Never went again, looking back, I think it was a money issue we were poor and skiing was expensive.

    Now I have the money, but at 50, I am not confident in my body’s ability to handle crashing over and over.

    Seems like a great time for you though, thanks for writing.

    • waffles

      Learning to snowboard sucks for me. I hate falling. I get bruised and beaten on a board. I like it because it gives me something challenging to do on a smaller hill. I hate it because I am just so much more adept on skis.

  12. waffles

    I have about 20 days on my local hill this season, mostly teaching. Skiing is the best thing there is for me. I’m sunburned and tired but it was for skiing and it’s worth it. I pushed the sport as far as I could go with it and only the very real fear of mortal injury made me take a step back. I appreciate skiing.

    KK, I love that you love skiing. I love teaching it and being able to get people into the sport. It’s a lifelong sport, one that people can easily participate in through their 80s.

    For fun, here’s probably my biggest crash I ever had a gopro on for. Cerro Chapelco, Argentina.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYgqT6rjtb4&

    • Tundra

      The K-12?

      Nice crash! I’m glad it was deep there.

      • waffles

        Thanks! I remember a slight tweak to the knee but no real injuries from that one. I had a couple more traumatic falls in those competition years but none recorded. And even if they were watching POV footage of myself getting hurt is something that constitutionally upsets me.

    • robc

      I clicked on a few of your videos. I just want to say that tree skiing interests me none at all.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        -1 Sonny Bono

      • robc

        See also my helmet comment up above.

      • waffles

        Skiing near solid objects is a trick to make the footage more exciting. Skiing in a steep open bowl lacks any reference to really tell how fast or steep anything is. I can appreciate a lack of desire to tree ski, trees are really dangerous. Luckily, I have never hit a tree with consequence. Knock on wood (or don’t) .

      • db

        I had a girl blow past me on a hill at Snowshoe a couple of weeks ago–really out of control. I was skiing relatively close to the lift towers on my right, and she was even closer. She hit a rut downhill from me and had a yard sale, and kept tumbling. I was watching and thinking she was going to come up hard against a lift tower but she got lucky and bounced to the left before she hit it. Scary.

    • Tundra

      I grew up a few minutes away. Love the place, love the song.

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      I skied Mount Frontenac in high school. I was crazy for a young, lithesome snow bunny who lived there. She could ski circles around me.

      The ski hill went out of business. Beth died of leukemia. :^(

  13. waffles

    But for me, this is probably as good as it gets.

    • waffles

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jjmUH8v6wc&t

      My youtube is basically a personal spank bank for skiing that you can only do while mostly unemployed with few other responsibilities. Alas that time is passed but not forgotten.

      • Tundra

        Sick.

        I like the finish at the car.

    • db

      Nice! Maybe some day I’ll get out your way for a lesson.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Thanks so much

    • Tundra

      Crazy fuckers.

    • robc

      like my tree comment above, moguls is one of those things that don’t interest me at all.

      I want to get to the point where I am confortable doing any blue run and if I accidently turn down a black diamond, I don’t panic.

      Double black, the double black extremes, etc just aren’t my thing. Maybe if I had been in Colorado 40 years ago?

      • UnCivilServant

        “Why’s that one marked as a ‘Red Splat’?”

        “Oh, that one goes down the cliff.”

  14. kinnath

    I am searching for another expensive hobby to replace my old expensive hobby.

    Perhaps my 65-year-old knees and bad back will be just fine. Worst case, the wife gets to collect the life insurance.

  15. PieInTheSky

    Seems dangerous. Should be banned. Putting pressure on public healthcare

    • waffles

      some things are good because they are dangerous

      • robc

        It is also removed a few politicians from office, so its got that going for it.

      • whiz

        Some things are good to watch because they are dangerous.

        FTFY

    • Not Adahn

      You have a bright future in politics.

      • PieInTheSky

        beats what the fuck I am doing right now

    • EvilSheldon

      Thank you for the dual reminder that a.) public health is shit, and 2.) safety dweebs are malevolent assholes.

  16. Shpip

    Yes, skiing is great exercise.

    Oh, schuss, you!

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      What are you chattering about?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He’s just waxing punny.

      • db

        TBH, he sounds kinda edgy to me.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Maybe you’ve been smoking the half-pipe?

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        He’s getting corny

      • Lackadaisical

        These puns are really heading downhill.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Swiss is going to be Off-piste with all these puns

      • R C Dean

        He must have taken a powder.

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        We’re all being snowed

      • juris imprudent

        Hmm, no narrowed gaze yet? Perhaps Swiss has gone snow-blind?

      • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

        We can keep plowing ahead.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        How about an Icy Glare!

    • Swiss Servator

      ALL Y’ALL…

      *MASS NARROWED GAZE*

    • UnCivilServant

      How were they able to type that with a straight face?

    • ron73440

      Usually I would not scroll down, but these comments are hilarious.

      One example:

      @spicerbj
      Replying to
      @Eugene_Robinson
      Now I finally get why 45 wanted us out of NATO and why he talked badly about them. He was supporting Putin. And to think his supporters want him back, WOW.

      • Rebel Scum

        Curiosity kills. I got as far as what you quoted.

        Those people do not inhabit the same reality as me.

      • ron73440

        Those people do not inhabit the same realityas me.

        FTFY

      • Pope Jimbo

        How much do you want to bet that those people don’t have any kids (or know anyone) in the service?

        To them it is just sending the military in to kick ass. If some of them get killed, well omelets need to be made.

      • R C Dean

        I recall Trump saying the Euros needed to support NATO more. How that is in Putin’s interest, I have no idea. People who live in the DemOp bubble are deranged.

      • juris imprudent

        Hell, these are the very same people that all laughed at Obama’s joke at Romney’s expense. They may be deranged, but they’re very obedient.

    • Rebel Scum

      ///NotTheBee

  17. Lackadaisical

    @grrizzly and shpip

    I’m also in the Tampa area these days, of you’re looking for another drinking buddy. You can hit me up on email, lacky0989 at the evil ones.

    • Shpip

      I hadn’t replied to grzz yet, but I have to be in Orlando with the Bosslady March 18-20. Tampa to O-town via I-4 is a PITA at the best of times, and trying to grab a quiet cocktail on St. Patrick’s Day (GRZZLY’s first day in Tampa) doesn’t seem feasible.

      I’ll let you know next time I’m in Pinellas, though.

      • Lackadaisical

        Understood,

        Hopefully we can find a good time to meet up later.

      • grrizzly

        I see. Next time might work better.

    • Plisade

      Tampa is in my retirement crosshairs, or maybe New Port Richey.

      • Lackadaisical

        I work in New Port Richey. It’s a nice little town, so long as the homeless druggies don’t bother you. 🙁

      • Plisade

        Yikes. I haven’t seen that. Only hung out at Whiskey Joe’s a few times passing through. Been thinking it’d be nice to live in a ‘hood along the ‘Scotee River.

      • Lackadaisical

        Afraid so, they’re really thick on us19. But I know efforts are underway to solve the issue. This not being San Fran, I have some hope.

      • Plisade

        Hmmm… maybe a good time to buy, before they fix the problem.

      • Lackadaisical

        I dunno prices are crazy here, depends if you’re gonna borrow or go cash…

        I don’t know if things will cool down here even if real estate goes tits up elsewhere though.

      • Lackadaisical

        Anyway, it is a nice area otherwise, Pasco county has some issues but there’s definite upsides here, enough that I was trying to convince the wife to live here instead of Hillsborough.

        And despite what I said, I am in the process of buying, so, revealed preferences.

      • Plisade

        Right on. Thanks for the insight 🙂

    • Pope Jimbo

      You guys cutting Brett out of the fun?

      When I visited Tampa a couple years ago, Brett was a great host and guide to the area. He dragged me to a great dive bar.*

      *Brett would have to confirm, but I’m pretty sure that is the one he brought be to. After I passed the first state of Tampa Glib Initiation.

      • Lackadaisical

        I want sure where in Florida Brett was, but certainly would look forward to meeting him and trying some real Florida meth.

      • Pope Jimbo

        He doesn’t share his personal meth stash. All I got was a half bottle of blue curacao during my visit.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Blue Curacao!

      • Ted S.

        He didn’t take you to Mons Venus?

    • grrizzly

      I shot you an email just in case.

      • Lackadaisical

        Thanks, recieved and responded.

  18. DEG

    *Shooting guns, you prevert.

    I read that and thought, “Huh?” I went back and reread the article. The second time through I realized the starred sentenced could be seen as a euphemism. Wow. I should have seen that the first time through. I guess I need more caffeine.

    I tried skiing while I was an undergrad. Even got college credit for it. The slope was more ice than snow. This was also after I started hating winter. So, no fun. I almost got clobbered once during class. We moved off a beginner slope to a different slope. Near the bottom I had a leg cramp and fell over. It took a minute or so for the cramp to die down. As I started getting up, I heard someone yell. I looked up, and someone flew over me. I heard my class’ instructor yelling at the guy. She chased him down and yanked his pass.

    It was good to try, but never again.

    • ron73440

      Speaking of not being able to spot a euphemism:

      She chased him down and yanked his pass.

      That sounds like a good time.

  19. Drake

    I love the mountains but prefer to hike them when there isn’t snow.

    • Not Adahn

      I used to think that. Then I got a dog.

      • Drake

        Our current dog (Wheaton Terrier) will hike all day without complaint unless it’s really hot.

      • Not Adahn

        The snow keeps the burrs out of her fur.

  20. Not Adahn

    Nitpick time:

    The heightened state of cognition that I enter when doing practical shooting (as opposed to bullseye shooting) is not any kind of focus — it’s exactly the opposite. It’s an expanded awareness. Instead of being focused on one thing, I’m aware of pretty much everything happening around me (at least in a rather flat area — things happening above me I’m not really cognizant of).

    There is just so much stuff that you have to be aware of — the muzzle of the gun, your finger on or off the trigger, your feet, your shoulders, the sight picture, the round count, your path forward/game plan, your reload locations… and of course, when you’re actually hyperfocused, you won’t hear anything.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s got to be Peak Aspie.

      • Not Adahn

        If you can’t get anyone else to fix it for you, fix it yourself. I approve.

    • juris imprudent

      You would think someone would realize what a fuck-up their business must be.

    • Pope Jimbo

      So it looks like he tweaked the footer?

      Do you think the “bug” was the year in the copyright notice? If so, did his fix screw up claims for future infringement claims?

      I have always thought that the year in a copyright notice was when the content was created or updated. Not the current year. No idea if updating javascript to always show the current year would cause problems in a courtroom or not.

      * I really hope it was more than the current year. 33 commits?

      • Fatty Bolger

        Check the date of the post. Yeah, it got me at first, too.

      • Fatty Bolger

        *Date of the Tweet

  21. Certified Public Asshat

    I’ve read a lot of Americans who are outraged the Canadian government applied financial sanctions to people who donated to the anti-vaccine protestors, but this apparently didn’t happen. Should make people happy, I suspect will make them madder somehow. pic.twitter.com/jMVnAmisFG— Matthew Yglesias (@mattyglesias) February 22, 2022

    I don’t know Matt, what does that last sentence in the statement say to you?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It says he knows he’s an asshole.

      Regardless of whether they actually implemented the seizures, the government claimed the power to do it unilaterally. We should just trust them?

    • Lackadaisical

      So, the articles closing they’d seized like 60 accounts were lying, or what?

      They only got the protesters themselves and no supporters?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dude, they would never use that power against a right-thinker like you.

      • Lackadaisical

        Sounds like the new, ‘we’re only using this on terrorists’ pinky swear in regards to state surveillance.

        I’m on the younger side, but our generations have really fucked up, huh?

    • Raven Nation

      On the subject of protestors, the NZ Police Commissioner is claiming that police working at the Wellington protests have contracted covid.

      Destruction by inference.

      • Plisade

        Is Covid the new blue flu?

      • juris imprudent

        “She turned me into a newt”.

    • R C Dean

      I swear I saw video of police going to restraurants that served the protestors and shutting them down.

      I guess not, though, if Matt says it never happened. I must have been dreaming or something.

  22. pistoffnick the refusnik

    Shred the gnar, KK!

    Thanks for a trip back to memory lane.

  23. kinnath

    American women players settle suit vs US Soccer for $24M

    U.S. women soccer players reached a landmark agreement with the sport’s American governing body to end a six-year legal battle over equal pay, a deal in which they are promised $24 million plus bonuses that match those of the men.

    The U.S. Soccer Federation and the women announced a deal Tuesday that will have players split $22 million, about one-third of what they had sought in damages. The USSF also agreed to establish a fund with $2 million to benefit the players in their post-soccer careers and charitable efforts aimed at growing the sport for women.

    Wow, they didn’t even get 72 cents on the dollar.

    • Lackadaisical

      Why the duck would they settle? They had no case. Disgusting.

      • kinnath

        I imagine it was like the last line of every Critical Drinker review.

        “Go Away Now!”

        But it was stupid to settle.

      • juris imprudent

        Cheaper than allowing the litigation to continue?

        Watch for the bargaining that goes on for the next CBA, for women and men. The only way the USSF can “equalize” FIFA payouts is to skin the men (since FIFA pays 10x to the men’s winners vice the women). Let’s see the men’s players union show their solidarity with the women over that.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        In solidarity with the women, we will not compete in the women’s world cup but we welcome their participation in the men’s for the right to win some money.

      • ron73440

        Why the duck would they settle?

        Publicity.

        Watching the Resident Alien episode I referenced below, my wife asked if what they were saying about women’s pay was true.

        My wife is very good on freedom, but not very knowledgeable on economics, though she is willing to learn.

        People who aren’t good about freedom and could not care less about economics will automatically side with the poor oppressed women.

      • Lackadaisical

        Just makes you look guilty, instead of say, holding out and defeating the case in court.

      • Lackadaisical

        New headline: settlement confirms, women’s team underpaid by 2.4 million.

      • ron73440

        I agree, just positing a possible explanation.

    • ron73440

      Reminding me of the 3rd episode of Resident Alien.

      Holy shit, that was some GIRL POWER hooey.

      I almost quit watching, but luckily the next episode was only a little into CLIMATE CHANGE.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah episode 3 was killing me….

      • slumbrew

        Just watched that POS episode.

        I am blind now, as my eyes rolled straight out of my head.

      • slumbrew

        They mayor’s wife (Meredith Garretson) is a hottie, though.

        Hotness of her aside, this season has been all over the place and D’Arcy has practically been written out (I loved her on Silicon Valley [NSFW audio])

      • ron73440

        The mayor and his wife are more cringe inducing than anything. S&M really?

        Might have been better if they had the alien fly away without the kid and ended it after one season.

      • slumbrew

        That whole storyline just needs to go away. Incredibly cringy.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Only thing I can assume is she was skinsuited hence the S&M cause the psycho blonde does season one carried that vibe

      • slumbrew

        Nah, they’re not being that clever(?) – they just got all horned from the rush of fighting off the killers and keep escalating in an attempt to get back to that state. Pointless, cringy C-story.

      • slumbrew

        By the first “they” I meant the writers, the second “they” the characters.

      • rhywun

        Huh, I didn’t know he landed at Roma.

        I wonder what his next stop will be. I can see him bottoming out in 4th tier Scotland or something – he’ll never want to do anything else.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        As a stupid Spurs fan, I am grateful for Roma hiring him to reduce the amount of compensation due to him.

  24. Sensei

    We call this the inconvenience the customer and make sure the dealer gets its cut legislation. It mostly impacts Tesla, but all the other manufacturers are keen to roll out OTA vehicle updates.

    EXCLUSIVE: West Virginia Wants To Ban Tesla & Others From Sending OTA Updates To Customer Cars

    “Except for experimental low-volume not-for-retail sale vehicles, cause warranty and recall repair work to be performed by any entity other than a new motor vehicle dealer, including post-sale software and hardware upgrades or changes to vehicle function and features, and accessories for new motor vehicles sold by a licensed new motor vehicle dealer. Provided however, this language shall not include any post-sale software upgrades to the motor vehicle’s navigation or entertainment system.”

    • EvilSheldon

      Part of me agrees with you.

      Part of me says that control systems should not need updates, if they were properly designed in the first place.

    • Pope Jimbo

      With OTA updates you can roll out new features in a much shorter time cycle. If you can’t push updates out, you are going to see development cycles really drag out.

      I worked at a company that built lots of IoT hardware. The development timelines for the embedded software was incredibly long. Mostly because if something was wrong, most people were not going to send a tech out into the field to update thousands of devices.

      I worked on the cloud side of things and was always having problems with our QA group. They were all focused on the way to test embedded software and were shocked at how little testing we did on the cloud side. I kept trying to explain to them that if something was wrong we would deploy to a cluster of servers and things would be fixed.

      • EvilSheldon

        Except that here on the integration end, persistent issues get ignored in the hopes that the end user will forget about them, while every update contains the chance of breaking something…

      • Pope Jimbo

        OTA updates are sooper fun because there is a very real possibility that something can go wrong and the remote device gets bricked.

      • EvilSheldon

        Seen it, done it.

        It’s bad enough when it’s a server with backup images, HA, etc. When it’s your car getting bricked, very bad.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Oh yeah. My worst experience was an OTA that bricked a lot of IoT gateways we had installed in a hundreds of fast food joints.

        Nothing like calling an assistant manager at a McD’s and trying to have them help you reset a bricked device. I think after about 50 attempts we just bit the bullet and sent out our own techs on a week long adventure.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, so it’s your fault the Ice Cream Machine is always broken.

        /snark

      • Nephilium

        One place I worked pushed out an update to the truck computers that was… bugged. Trying to walk a bobtail driver through replacing an SD card in a slot that had enough gap on either side that the card could go into the shell instead of the slot.

        Another time, they were pushing out an update that was supposed to go to one wireless access point, and someone accidentally pushed it to the whole network. That was several days of driving out to remote locations to reimage the AP’s.

  25. Pope Jimbo

    My winter sport is pretty much ice fishing now. As a kid we used to bring our beagle out to the swamps and shoot snow shoe rabbits. For that we would usually wear snow shoes ourselves (the old wood ones). It was pretty fun and the dog loved it more than just about any other hunting she did.

    Now when I’m ice fishing I’ll see a bunch of women that are in a snow shoe club come tromping by along the lake’s edge on a group hike. They all have those new metal snow shoes. And the snow is 3″ deep.

    I never skied as a kid because it was too expensive for us. Neither of my parents skied as a kid, so they had no warm fuzzy feelings that would cause them to cough up the $30 for a day of skiing at our local hill.

    • blighted_non_millenial

      That was a great episode. I’d heard of the guest, Majid Nawaz, but had never listened to him.

    • Rebel Scum

      Showing people what powerful elites say is their goal is white-supreme conspiracy theory disinformation. It is known.

    • Compelled Speechless

      I love how he did his apology videos and then turned around and had Dave Smith, Steve Koonin and Maajid Nawaz in the last two weeks. All great red-pillers. I’m starting to wonder if those videos were just insincere trolling. If so, that’s delicious.

  26. Semi-Spartan Dad

    Nice article, KK. I grew up skiing once every couple years or so before switching to snowboarding in college. I lived a half hour from the slopes, and they had a $20 season lift ticket for students who joined the free university ski club. I couldn’t believe it. I made sure my Friday classes were over by noon, had the snowboard already in the car, and spent every Friday afternoon on the slopes. I couldn’t do that now, but it sure was nice in my late teens.

  27. Rebel Scum

    Sounds familiar.

    Freedom Convoy protest organiser Tamara Lich has been denied bail by a Canadian judge who claimed that she was unconvinced that Lich would abide by bail conditions and go home.

    “This community has already been impacted enough by some of the criminal activity and blockades you took part in and even led,” judge Bourgeois said and added, “you have had plenty of opportunity to remove yourself and even others from this criminal activity but obstinately chose not to and persistently counselled others not to either,” broadcaster CBC reports.

    That’s some mighty fine judgeing.

    In Canada, every citizen can certainly disagree with and protest against government decisions but it needs to be done in a democratic fashion in abidance with the laws that have been established democratically,” the judge added and claimed she found Lich “almost obstructive.”

    Doesn’t sound like it. And the laws do not seem to apply equally.

    • rhywun

      “Protest” = “criminal activity” – got it.

      I have finally learned to love Big Brother.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      but it needs to be done in a democratic fashion

      Last I checked “democratic fashion” was the mob showing up and telling you what they wanted. I guess he means something else.

    • EvilSheldon

      You have got to be fucking kidding me. ‘Judge Bourgeois?’

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Yes, resistance should have begun right there, at the moment of the arrest itself.
      But it did not begin. -Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

      It’s becoming increasingly obvious that the governments are playing by a different set of rules than the citizens attending the Jan 6th and Canadian protestors. I wholeheartedly support the Canadians, but am very doubtful that their peaceful protests will result in anything but misery and destruction for themselves and their families. Even now, I suspect the truckers and anyone else they can identify are being hunted down and this roundup will continue over the next year.

      • juris imprudent

        Which of course will require those Emergency Powers to be voted on as in effect not for a limited time period.

    • R C Dean

      the criminal activity and blockades you took part in and even led

      Wow. She was convicted before her bail hearing? Canada has a weird legal system, I guess.

      it needs to be done in a democratic fashion in abidance with the laws

      Isn’t that what we’re in court to find out? Oh, that’s right, she’s already been convicted, apparently.

      • Not Adahn

        Wow. She was convicted before her bail hearing? Canada has a weird super-efficient legal system

    • Pope Jimbo

      Too bad she hadn’t received a good American education.

      Schools can teach “comply, then complain.” They can also, however, teach the basic rights that anyone stopped by police should enjoy. In other words, what constitutes illegality on the part of officers. But the first step indeed has to be that “comply, then complain” strategy.

      Whitmire envisions both. Spurring this is a genuine crisis in community/police relations.

      Most of the debate has focused on how police can improve training and address implicit biases that might be at work. But the flip side is that the public also can be educated.

      I’m sure Lich’s experience with the Canadian judicial system will assure her that Comply then Complain is the way to to. No way would they fail to listen to her complaint after she had bent the knee and complied.

  28. Plinker762

    I pretty much grew up at a ski area and I am still in the industry but I eventually traded in my gravity powered skis for 2-stroke powered ones.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    R C Dean, at the tail end of the dead thread:

    President Dean would be issuing an executive order right about now declaring that Canadian citizens seeking to enter the US will be granted presumptive refugee status, as they are fleeing an oppressive and tyrannical regime. I would also be ordering a review of all cross-border agreements and arrangements, to determine if they are appropriate for the US to have with a tyrannical and oppressive regime.

    I was just thinking along those lines a little while ago, at the gym.

    How would the “community of nations” respond if the Hungarian president took exactly the same actions against demonstrators in his country as Trudo has?

    • juris imprudent

      Harrumph! Harrumph!!

    • UnCivilServant

      It depends – what were the demonstrators protesting against?

    • JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

      If I recall the Orban ended his state of emergency powers within months while most of the US governors have kept theirs.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Colorado transplant ski meet-up?

    Wait ’til May, and go to A-basin.

  31. Rebel Scum

    J6 Two: Canuck Boogaloo

    Madam Speaker, I have heard the words of my colleague on the other side of the floor, so I have a few questions. As a Jewish member of Parliament and a descendant of survivors of the Holocaust, as well, I, like many Canadians, was shocked to see Nazi and Confederate flags. I was dismayed and angry and hurt, horribly hurt.

    So how many Nazi flags does it take? How many donors from the Capitol riots — it’s 1,100 and counting who have donated to these illegal blockades — [does it take?]. How many guns need to be seized?

    How much vitriol do we have to see of “honk honk” — which is an acronym for “Heil Hitler” — do we need to see by these protesters on social media?

    How much, how many times do we have to see clear indicators that what is out there is not about the hard two years that every Canadian has suffered?

    This is about something much deeper and darker and uglier that is threatening the stability of this House, the work that we do as legislators each and every day for our constituents, and the democracy that we have to uphold.

    When will it be an emergency for you and your colleagues across the floor?

    These dishonest cuntes are at least as pretend hysterical as our lot of public office critters.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      How many donors from the Capitol riots — it’s 1,100 and counting

      And how, pray tell, do they know that?

      “honk honk” — which is an acronym for “Heil Hitler”

      Oh fuck off

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Canadian MP Ya’ara Saks

      Hereby nicknamed Yakety Sax.

    • ron73440

      I was dismayed and angry and hurt, horribly hurt.

      If you get “hurt, horribly hurt” from a picture of a flag, you might have a mental illness.

      Honk, Honk

      • rhywun

        ??

      • Rebel Scum

        I’m trying to figure out what meaning a Confederate flag has to anyone in Canada.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        My inclination is to assume that it’s a glowie trying to tie the whole thing back to “racists.”

        Same with the swastika shit.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Nothing, of course, at least to about 99.999% of the genpop. The other 0.001% probably wave it around ironically and/or to get a rise out of the usual pearl-clutchers who seem to comprise most of our Moral And Intellectual Betters™ class.

        I made the mistake of tuning into CBC talk radio today for a short period of time whilst using an old-fashioned AM transistor radio as an RF “sniffer” on a project on my electronics workbench; I have to console myself with the fact that latest audience stats puts CBC Radio’s news and talk programs somewhere below 2% of the audience share nation-wide, but man, are there ever some astonishing witlings phoning into those programs, and of course it was all about the invocation of the Emergencies Act and whether it was a good idea (most call-ins thought it was just peachy-keen, thank you). It brings to mind a joke a friend of mine utters from time-to-time: “The average Canadian’s dumb as a sack of hammers, and as we know about averages, half of them are even dumber than that.”

      • EvilSheldon

        Of course she’s mentally ill; she’s a progressive. She’s chosen to be mentally ill, because it’s more useful than being sane.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Sanity does seem to be an impediment to conscience free grifting.

      • Not Adahn

        She and that other MP should have a Jew-off so we know which one to believe.

      • Ted S.

        OMWC can judge.

    • R C Dean

      I, like many Canadians, was shocked to see Nazi and Confederate flags

      I still haven’t seen an actual photo of a Nazi flag at one of the protests. Anyone got a link?

      Of course, the presence of anything like that at a protest immediately poses the questions: Who? Why? Legitimate supporter of the protest expressing solidarity? Or opponent/cop discrediting the protest?

      • Rebel Scum

        No link but I saw it. That said, I was not shocked. Just a flag and some sort of provocateur.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Yeah, there was precisely one, which may have been nothing more than one trucker’s awkward way of expressing his belief that the Feds in general (and Trudeau in particular) were acting like Nazis; other truckers around the guy reacted almost immediately to the presence of the flag and told the guy to leave, but by that time, the usual useful idiots in the media had captured an image of it and repeated it endlessly in their broadcasts á la “The Big Lie” to generate negative publicity for the truckers’ protest. It has now become part of the “insurrection legend and lore” surrounding the protest that the Feds and their media enablers are trying to create out of whole cloth.

        Of course, it could’ve also been part of a “false flag” op by the Feds or the local cops; tellingly, the guy with that flag was the only one in the crowd who had a covering over his face.

      • Rebel Scum

        which may have been nothing more than one trucker’s awkward way of expressing his belief that the Feds in general (and Trudeau in particular) were acting like Nazis

        +1 Hail Whitmer

      • R C Dean

        Nazi Flags Displayed At Anti-Vaccine Protest In Ottawa

        With a picture of a Confederate flag.

        Amusingly, a search for “nazi flag canadian protests” on Bing produces numerous images of Nazi flags at non-Canadian protests. But none that I saw at a Canadian protest.

      • slumbrew

        ” a protester with a Canadian flag covered in swastikas walked behind him.”

        Sounds like someone drawing a parallel between Nazi Germany and present day Canada.

      • R C Dean

        a protester with a Canadian flag covered in swastikas walked behind him

        But somehow, no picture was taken.

        As the kidz say “Pics or it didn’t happen.”

  32. The Late P Brooks

    “This community has already been impacted enough by some of the criminal activity and blockades you took part in and even led,” judge Bourgeois said and added, “you have had plenty of opportunity to remove yourself and even others from this criminal activity but obstinately chose not to and persistently counselled others not to either,” broadcaster CBC reports.

    “What was you arrested for, Kid?”

    “Litterin’. And creatin’ a nuisance.”

    That’ll be life in prison, without parole.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    How much vitriol do we have to see of “honk honk” — which is an acronym for “Heil Hitler”

    *high pitched tweeting*

  34. Not Adahn

    Parable

    “Is it true,” asked the student, “that the gods only have power because we believe in them?”

    “Yes,” said the sage. “It is true.”

    “If I everyone stopped believing in a god, would the god die?”

    “You have said it.”

    So the student traveled the land, dominant assurance contract in hand. Everywhere he went, he told the people, “Sign this contract, which says that if everyone in the land signs the contract, you all agree to stop believing in the plague god.”

    The people said they would sign if they could, but how could they stop believing in the plague god when his evidence was all around them?

    The student thought for many years. Then he shaved his beard and grew his hair and returned to them, unrecognizable, and speaking different words. Now he said “There is no plague god. Plagues are caused by animaliculi, too small to see. No ceremony or amulet can avert them, only washing your hands and wearing face masks.

    The people were astonished at his doctrine. But here and there it caught on, and in those villages the great plagues began to wane, until only mild colds and agues were left. Inspired by this success, more and more people believed the student’s words and doubted the plague god. And everywhere people were healthy and happy.

    When the student was very old and had taken students of his own, he called them together. “Soon I will die,” he said. “But my heart is heavy. For one day, people will invent new tools, tools that let them see smaller than a hair’s breadth. And they will find there are no animaliculi, and learn that I deceived them, and then the plague god will return, angrier than ever. You must promise that when that time comes, you will bury these fears, re-convince them of the truth of my words, and protect my legacy.” All his students so swore, and he died.

    And that is why, even today, when someone goes on a podcast and disagrees with an epidemiologist, lots of people get really angry and demand that Spotify take it down.

    • Ted S.

      “Soon I will die,” he said. “But my heart is heavy. For one day, people will invent new tools, tools that let them see smaller than a hair’s breadth. And they will find there are no animaliculi, and learn that I deceived them, and then the plague god will return, angrier than ever. You must promise that when that time comes, you will bury these fears, re-convince them of the truth of my words, and protect my legacy.” All his students so swore, and he died.

      I was hoping this meant Mr. Fauci finally kicked it.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    I want the Russians to call a special session of the UN Security Council and call for censure of Canada for human rights violations. Can we get our buddy Vlad on the Hot Line?

    • Rebel Scum

      Heh.

    • Compelled Speechless

      Maybe we can get Pussy Riot out there for a performance.

  36. Rebel Scum

    Apparently Sleepy Joe is doing everything in his power to lower the price at the pump . . . which does not include any sound energy policies such as those from the prior administration.

    And apparently we are only shuffling forces around in Europe to protect NATO countries . . . and we are united in our support of Ukraine. . .

    • Rebel Scum

      Russia claims to have historical claim. But they have no historical claim on land previously held by Russia. Interesting argument.

      • R C Dean

        Russia claims to have historical claim.

        I would think the disappearance of Russia as a sovereign nation for 80 years would put paid to any historical claims.

      • Swiss Servator

        So Spain and Portugal need to go back to Algerian and Moroccan control?

      • Raven Nation

        We’d better off if everyone was controlled by Rome. I mean, given the general incompetence of Italian governments, having Rome rule Europe would be as close to an anarchist utopia as we’re likely to get.

      • Compelled Speechless

        This is kind of along the lines of Curtis Yarvin’s argument for Monarchy. It’s better to be the “subject” of incompetent leadership that’s inefficient and largely disinterested in your day to day life than to be a “citizen” of a modern government with all it’s spying apparatuses and armies of bureaucrats that will ceaselessly come after you for every minor infraction and disobedience. I feel like people aren’t taking into account the availability of modern tech when they make these arguments. I don’t think Rome and European Monarchies were bad at being totalitarians because of lack of ambition. Far more likely it was lack of ability, but that exists now for anyone who wants it.

      • R C Dean

        I think its less likely for a monarchy to do so, even with modern technology, because a monarchy is not ideologically driven. It is driven by self-interest and self-preservation – “the Firm”, as the Brits call it. Monarchies are institutionally disinterested in morally or ideologically purifying their subjects, as doing so is a poor risk-benefit equation for the self-interest and self-preservation of the Firm.

        Utopian monarchs are pretty thin on the ground, historically, compared to utopian modern states, and it is the millenarian search for utopia that drives totalitarianism, which is the root of “spying apparatuses and armies of bureaucrats that will ceaselessly come after you for every minor infraction and disobedience.”

      • Compelled Speechless

        Sorry Texans, it’s back to Mexico with you.

      • Rebel Scum

        Give them California.

      • Rebel Scum

        I wasn’t saying it would be ok to just march into Ukraine and take it. But there is a whole history of historical claims and the argument is stupid…when there is a historical claim.

        Likewise I was not getting into technicalities about whatever a people’s state has been called at any point historically.

        And I’m now tired of the word “history”.

      • Swiss Servator

        “Herstory!”

        /stamps foot

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      So allowing drilling and pipeline construction is out of the question then?

      • Swiss Servator

        For 13 months now, yes.