Glibcrostic 4

by | Mar 8, 2022 | Games | 258 comments

To be perfectly honest I was a tad disappoint in you people, seemed like only a few of you were trying to solve the puzzles. But I realized to wasn’t your fault it was mine, I threw you into the metaphoric deep end – 20+ clue puzzles with long quotes from obscure books from forgotten (or never heard of ) authors. Thus this weeks puzzle is a much simpler one. Also I had the idea of using a quote from a Glib’s comment, so the first letters of the clue answers (the blue letters, sloper) don’t spell out a book title and author but a Glibs handle. Some may notice that their are nine clues and nine letters in Hyperbole, but I’d remind you I am a contrarian not a narcissist, I didn’t use one of my own witty comments.  As always entertainment…gambling…not your sponsor…

Oh, I keep forgetting here’s a nice little ditty to solve puzzles to.

I like the idea of using a Glibs quote as the source for the puzzles, so if you want to be immortalized as a Glibcrostic, try to say something witty or astute but make certain it contains all the letters necessary to spell out your handle (and it wouldn’t hurt to make sure “Orca” can be spelled out also.)

 

SOLUTION

About The Author

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole can beat any of you chumps at Earthshaker! the greatest pinball machine of all time.

258 Comments

  1. Sean

    C is ugly.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I is WILBUR.

  2. Rat on a train

    G isn’t antiva.

  3. Tundra

    I got it!

    You must have really dumbed it down!

    • Gender Traitor

      Almost too easy for my taste, but I’m stuck on the last clue and can’t print out the grid because I’m at work. ☹️

      • Tundra

        Want a hint? The answer is not “horsey”.

      • R C Dean

        “washed-up” doesn’t fit.

      • The Hyperbole

        I intentionally made it easy to perhaps ease some of our reluctant non-puzzlers into giving them a try.

      • Ownbestenemy

        So you worked with public school unions to develop this one?

      • Mojeaux

        It requires printing. Nope.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m working on that, one doesn’t simply learn to code overnight!

      • ron73440

        Looks like a foot?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Sarah Jessica Parker?

      • ron73440

        That was the clue.

      • DrOtto

        That’s what you wish she said.

  4. pistoffnick the refusnik

    Minnesota based book company.

    I went to elementary and high school in Lake City (about 20 minutes south of there). I wanted to like their boots (even though they are no longer made in the USA), but they never seemed to fit me right.

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      book s/b boot

  5. Lackadaisical

    I like A,.

    Is the answer to C thiccify?

    • Lackadaisical

      As in. ‘demi rose’s surgeon really knows how to thiccify’

    • pistoffnick the refusnik

      Please explain A to me. I feel like I’m missing some cultural reference.

      • Lackadaisical

        I don’t know how to explain it without giving away the answer. Maybe hype can clue you in?

      • The Hyperbole

        It’s a song reference, also the ‘grows bees’ bit is also a meta hint to the puzzle.

      • Tundra

        Don’t eat the yellow snow.

      • MikeS

        I’m surprised you don’t know that one.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        I suspect you look at Steely Dan much like I look at Frank and the Mothers.

      • MikeS

        Great analogy. I getchu

    • Lackadaisical

      B, not C. Derp.

      Dunno why these are so hard for me. 😀

  6. creech

    Other than FYTW, did Sleepy Joe cite any power he has to ban Russian oil purchases?

    • Grumbletarian

      In these trying times, he needs no other reason.

    • whiz

      Doesn’t the prez have a lot of leeway wrt trade?

  7. Tundra

    Gas up $.30 in 24 hours. $4.20 for 87 octane.

    Might want to fill those tanks today.

    • Rebel Scum

      I guess that means premium will be inching towards $5/gal. Lucky me.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I paid 4.29 yesterday for Prem.

      • R C Dean

        Premium here in Tucson went from @ $3.95 to @ $4.50 in one week. I won’t be surprised if its $5.00 by the end of this week.

        Childish, I know, but I put “I did that” stickers on the pump. As I have done for most fill-ups for the last several months.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Just use 87, if your car’s modern it’ll adjust the timing and it’ll be fine (caveats and exceptions apply of course).

      • Bobarian LMD

        My car’s mileage takes a slight hit, so not much of a savings.

        The one station down the road that sells gas without ethanol, though? I pick up 3+mpg when I cheat.

      • Rebel Scum

        And sacrifice power? Nah… I gotta use what it’s tuned for.

      • kinnath

        The Z gets premium. Everything else gets mid-grade. Everything here but premium has fucking ethanol in it.

        Ethanol is for drinking, not driving.

      • Tundra

        Well with fertilizer up 30% already, I think you may see ethanol disappear from gas tanks.

      • Bobarian LMD

        You’re also gonna start seeing gas disappearing from gas tanks.

        Get a locking cap.

      • R C Dean

        I think you may see ethanol disappear from gas tanks

        Not gonna happen. You’d have to get the state to order it.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Couldn’t agree more. I’m always supplementing my driving with some ethanol intake.

    • robc

      Dont tell me what to do!

      Also, I filled up Sunday and Yesterday.

      • Rat on a train

        I filled up the day before the invasion war kinetic military action started. Gas is up $0.75 in less than two weeks.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Proof it’s cause of Ukraine!

    • Ownbestenemy

      I tapped out at $100.00 this morning at Costco for the grooming truck and 8 gallons for the gas cans…fucking hell

      • R C Dean

        the grooming truck

        I’m guessing, white panel van?

    • Animal

      It’s approaching $5/gal here in the Great Land.

      Where, I must add, we are practically surrounded with oil and natural gas.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        It helps if you’re also practically surrounded by refineries (ours occupies a significant part of the northeast of Edmonton). Cheapest gas in Canada (which isn’t saying much, but still . . . ).

      • Animal

        We’ve a few, including a big one down in Nikiski that (I’m told) distills Diesel fuel and gasoline.

    • trshmnstr the terrible

      Wife just sent me a picture of the gas line she’s in at Sam’s right now. Who had gas rationing on their 2022 bingo card?

  8. juris imprudent

    I’m feeling called out – oh wait – I have lots of company.

    “Our results were conclusive,” said the angel Gabriel, who led the study. “Of the 30,000 male test subjects we studied, we found literally 100% of them would happily accept and eat any piece of fruit handed to them by a woman who was naked. Even in cases where it wasn’t fruit—or even edible—all the males gratefully accepted every single object offered and ate it with a dumb look on their face.”

    • Tundra

      Women around the world started to gloat upon hearing the news until Gabriel revealed they also conducted a study showing that 100% of women can be tricked by a talking snake.

      That’s one hell of a euphemism!

      • robc

        I don’t know enough ancient hebrew to verify, but my understanding is the word translated as “serpent” in Genesis, is translated as “Seraphim” other places in the OT.

    • Gender Traitor

      Even the gay ones? (The men, I mean.)

      • Tundra

        Boobs are one of life’s greatest mysteries. No one knows how they work, but their power is undeniable.

      • Tundra

        Nice! Thanks for that!

  9. Grumbletarian

    My BIL is in the ANG. I asked him to bring home one of the KC-135 fuel bladders so we can fill it up before gas hits $6/gal.

  10. Brochettaward

    Did anyone point out this morning how with the poll finding Dems would flee before an invasion that they have spent years, particularly their howling shit throwing monkeys in the media, pretending to be the defenders of the institutions? Not to mention that they are the ones who make up the institutions in many respects? And that a majority of them say in a fucking poll that they’d cut tail and run if given the chance while those anti-government conservatives who are mostly isolated and abused from the centers of power would stay and fight?

    This isn’t to point out the virtues of conservatives, but to point out just how fucking hollow our institutions actually are. It’s probably the most revealing piece of evidence I’ve seen in that regard. If the people wielding the power can’t even pretend that they’d stay and fight for it, we are well and truly fucked.

    • ron73440

      we are well and truly fucked

      For a self proclaimed firster, it took you long enough to figure that out.

      • MikeS

        First degree burn!

      • Brochettaward

        The First That Will Change Everything will bring about a great re-ordering, but only if people will follow. It will start with a sapling and grow into a great sequoia. If the Glibertarians play their cards right, they will be the among the Firsters of a new generation. Some, like UCS, are already lost to the darkness of being second.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        So this whole “firsting” thing is a Mult-Level Marketing scheme?

        Tupperware did it better.

      • juris imprudent

        First on the blockchain is like first in the train?

      • MikeS

        Wood.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Just look at the cowering pictures from 1/6.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The poll shows the Dems are spineless and the conservatives are stupid. Why fight for the thing that’s trying to crush you and all you stand for?

      • Brochettaward

        I think those are the surface level observations. But I think, again, when you look at the rhetoric each side adopts, it’s pretty revealing about what those people actually believe. The people who have spent the last half decade telling us that they are the protectors of our democracy against fascism and that we need to trust our institutions (which are made up of people of their class and of similar ideologies) would cut tail and run if they could during a no-shit invasion. They aren’t even willing to act tough in a poll.

      • R C Dean

        If I were to fight, it wouldn’t be for the *spit* government. It would be for me and mine, and my neighbors and community.

      • Brochettaward

        I think this is the great divide. Conservatives are more of the nature of love their country/communities, hate their government types. Democrats tend to be servile followers of government, but hate their communities and country. Servile is the key word when describing many Dems.

      • Necron 99

        I think you are right, it’s like the great liberal saying, “is your TV worth killing someone over?” It always flusters them when I say yes, my TV represents many hours of my life spent doing a task I would not do on my own accord, time I will never see again, time I could have spent with friends and family for free but instead invested into difficult labor for an exchange of cash. Now you want me to give up that time and labor just so some punk can have what I have worked for? Piss right off with that nonsense I am keeping what is mine.

        My brother was howling because some of his wife’s family live in Ukraine and the men are being conscripted. I was dumbfounded that he thought that was bad. I told him I would have volunteered even though I am well past the age of being any use, and then I still wouldn’t run away, my home and my community would be defended until I ran out of rounds, they got me or they leave. Not sure it ever crossed his liberal brain that some things are worth fighting for.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There was a reason horse thieves were hanged.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m no statistician, and I gather that they use models and maths and margins of error and what not but how can you tell anything about 50 million people, give or take, based on less than 400 of them taking a survey? Pure bullshit to stir up collectivist partisanship.

      • MikeS

        Listen, Fat. Surveys that confirm my biases are accurate surveys.

      • The Hyperbole

        Listen, Fat. It’s ‘Look’, Fat!

      • MikeS

        Contrarian and pedant. A regular renaissance man!

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        how can you tell anything about 50 million people, give or take, based on less than 400 of them taking a surve

        In theory? Law of large numbers starts to take over very quickly. It’s like taking a water sample to measure the pH of a swimming pool. It’s representative insofar as the pool is well mixed. Randomization is key in polling.

        In practice? Randomization is dead. The days of being able to use a number generator to generate phone numbers that represented a good cross section of the population are long past, and I’ve not been convinced that any of their modern techniques are viable. When was the last time you picked up a call from a random number? This, of course, stacks upon many other issues in opinion polling that impact the ability of the data to be representative, like psychological biases in the questions, demographic sampling adjustments, tiny sample sizes, and bad faith pollsters.

      • Sean

        I participated in a survey recently. As a well off, middle aged hispanic woman against immigration. Lulz.

    • Tundra

      We will be seeing “put on a sweater” stories within a week.

      • Bobarian LMD

        “Don’t forget to air up your tires!”

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        Double nickels on the Dime.

        Fuck you, Carter.

    • Lackadaisical

      Meh, I don’t see a problem. Some people have really stupid driving habits, like racing to the red light.

      • Sean

        Stop speed shaming me.

      • Lackadaisical

        Shame, shame.

        I just think it’s a water of money, gas, wear and tear etc.

        No problem of it means you get there faster, but often it means you get there slower, so it’s double dumb.

      • R C Dean

        My problem is, everything becomes an excuse to nag and nanny us.

      • juris imprudent

        Well, if you just DID what we tell you, we wouldn’t have to nag.

      • Bobarian LMD

        This is why I ignore red lights.

        Saves on gas.

      • Lackadaisical

        Traffic lights are crime against efficiency, unless they’re timed.

        Narrator: they’re never timed

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        The recently built Costco put in a useless stop light on my way to work.

        There is hardly ever anybody there to use it. Make the things smarter!

      • whiz

        Roundabouts FTW!

      • slumbrew

        I think we can add roundabouts to the list of “things Glibs will fight over”. Not quite as intense as the Pizza Wars, but people Have Thoughts.

      • Rebel Scum

        Do you know what grinds my gears? People that rock the car by feathering the clutch while stopped on hill.

      • Mojeaux

        Um…

      • MikeS

        If you get there faster, you can spend more time idling, which uses less gas than accelerating. Don’t you Science, brah?!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well at least it isn’t check your tire pressure.

      We are in the works to offer discounts to customers to drive to our home if they want a $5 discount on dog grooming.

      Last summer our fuel costs were average of $240/month and now we are breaking $500/month.

      • Ted S.

        Wow. Gas has only doubled in price here since the presidential election. (Well, the price as of last Thursday; I haven’t passed a gas station since.)

      • Ownbestenemy

        Some of that is increase in clients….

    • ron73440

      I usually don’t read comments, but these are 100% saying Let’s go Brandon.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Fuck the poor people.

    .@StephenAtHome: “Today, the average gas price in America hit an all-time record high of over $4/gallon. OK, that stings, but a clean conscience is worth a buck or two. It’s important. I’m willing to pay $4/gallon. Hell, I’ll pay $15 a gallon b/c I drive a Tesla”

    • Ownbestenemy

      My teens, even with jobs, are almost priced out of keeping those jobs.

    • Brochettaward

      We’re still importing Russian oil. Is he suggesting we have a clean conscience because of our actions with regards to Russia or because of eco bullshit? I get the sense the former, but he’s retarded either way.

    • R C Dean

      That’s the kind of shit that, if you say it public, don’t be surprised if you get punched in the face.

      When the Burning Times come, well, he won’t see them end, I guarantee you that.

    • WTF

      What a cunte.

    • Lackadaisical

      I can only assume this is a joke, meant to make fun of others.

      • juris imprudent

        Poe’s Law.

  12. trshmnstr the terrible

    OT: Well, I just had the single fastest interview ever. Besides pleasantries, I said all of one word.

    Him: “To start things off, we’re vaccine mandatory, even for fully remote positions. Will you be able to comply by uploading proof of vaccination?”

    Me: “No”

    Him: “[insert mumbling and groveling] Sorry for wasting your time.”

    Me: “Sorry it didn’t work out.” *click*

    • Tundra

      Tell me again why the trucker convoy is useless?

      We’re not even close to out of the woods on this shit.

      • rhywun

        ^

      • MikeS

        Preach it, brother.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        ^^

        Many of us in flyover country have been lulled into a false sense of security. Yeah, I can’t remember the last time I wore a mask, but there are portions of this country still itching to swing their control boners around.

      • slumbrew

        They dropped the indoor mask mandate here on Saturday.

        Fully half the people are still wearing masks as they walk around outside.

        If you were to ask them, they would describe themselves as intelligent, critical thinkers.

        We’re doomed.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Give it a week. Maybe. Here near Old Fart City in Southern Henderson it took about a week for all but the truly fragile to take off the mask.

      • slumbrew

        We’ll see.

        I’m in deepest-blue Mass. The worship of The Science! will not be discarded that easily.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        I still see outdoor masking on occasion here in TX. Mask mandates have been gone for a year. There are more than a few permanently damaged people out there.

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        Our mandate doesn’t end until Saturday. Lord knows why it is still going, why they gave a week’s notice (?!), after constantly dropping it from the end of the month. Only dead-enders are wearing the things anymore. Oh, the university town down the road? Still mandating it, and that county is looking to keep it active. My barber is in that town and as soon as the state mandate ends he putting an optional sign on the door. He has been letting me be optional with it, and half the people come in and start sucking on a lollypop as an excuse not to wear one.

        The whole thing is so stupid.

        We need the truckers.

      • slumbrew

        Boston dropped masks on the 27th, Somerville on the 6th, Cambridge – “let’s wait until midnight on the 13th”.

        Why? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

        (For those out of the area, those are all essentially “greater Boston”)

      • ron73440

        I will be in Boston on the 15th and 16th.

        My unjabbed wife will be with me, it seems all restrictions will be lifted by then, is this true?

      • slumbrew

        Yep, you should be good by then.

        You’ll get some individual businesses who want masks or even proof of vax. You can merrily tell them to fuck off and take your business elsewhere.

      • Ted S.

        Or shittier Boston depending on your point of view.

      • slumbrew

        Oh, you’ll still need to mask if you take the T, cab and/or Uber (which is a federal thing, I think).

      • ron73440

        We’ll have a rental car, so that shouldn’t be an issue.

      • DEG

        My unjabbed wife will be with me, it seems all restrictions will be lifted by then, is this true?

        You could take a side trip to NH where there are no state level restrictions. I think all the Omicron Fear Porn inspired municipal restrictions (only mask ordinances, and only in a few municipalities) are gone.

        We could also set up a meet-up if you folks have time. I will show up on time this time.

      • Ted S.

        Work dropped the mask mandate (which was for when you were away from your desk) today. I was amazed to see some of the people I thought had bought into coronapanic not wearing masks.

        Our HR blankety-blank who is the enforcer for this shit, was still wearing a wrongly-fitted N95 mask.

        On the other hand, we still have to do the temperature check shit.

      • Sean

        we still have to do the temperature check shit.

        Gay.

      • Lackadaisical

        Just because Ted takes his temperature rectally, that doesn’t make it gay.

        It’s because he enjoys it.

      • slumbrew

        *insert Idiocracy gif here*

      • DEG

        there are portions of this country still itching to swing their control boners around.

        Yes

      • ron73440

        Rage inducing.

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        Those parents should file attempted rape charges. Because there is no other reason for this bullshit as far as I am concerned.

      • Sensei

        Anybody who takes public transportation is still masked until at least 3/18.

    • R C Dean

      “I’ve got another interview in an hour. Good luck filling your vacancy!”

    • Pine_Tree

      “Y’all are still playing Covid, huh?

    • Rat on a train

      Will you be able to comply by uploading proof of vaccination?
      I have my yellow fever vaccination card somewhere. Oh, you mean the vaccine from last year that has already become ineffective. It is health theater, but I do prefer that over requiring boosters, which is more health theater.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Him: “To start things off, we’re vaccine mandatory, even for fully remote positions. Will you be able to comply by uploading proof of vaccination?”

      “Did you fuck your wife in the ass last night? You’re goddamned right it’s none of my business.”

    • Rebel Scum

      even for fully remote positions

      I’d love to hear the justification for this.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        “the CEO requires it”

        The guy was apologizing before he even asked the question and didn’t stop apologizing until I hung up.

      • Lackadaisical

        But but medical insurance.

      • Rat on a train

        It hit us when Pudding Cup mandated vaccines for all contractors regardless of location. What company is going to risk contracts challenging that?

    • R C Dean

      Will you be able to comply by uploading proof of vaccination?

      “Well, my medical information is confidential, so I’ll need you to sign an NDA first. I’m sure you understand. And I’ll need a $500 fee first; apparently this is critical information for your company, so that shouldn’t be a problem, right?”

    • rhywun

      Ridiculous. I’m surprised they didn’t tell you in advance. They really don’t think anyone will balk?

    • Lackadaisical

      Nice of them to bring it up first and not waste your time.

      Guess you dodged a bullet there.

      • trshmnstr the terrible

        Yep, and it’s too bad. Fully remote position (with occasional travel), smaller company, well in my technological wheelhouse and it is the position I want to grow into.

        The only knock was that their headquarters are in silicon valley, and I’m trying to avoid California companies in my job search. This experience is exactly why.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Good luck! Our CEO changed from flyerover good ole boy to CO douschenozzle. With predictable results.

      • DEG

        Good luck on your hunt!

        You dodged a bullet here.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    a clean conscience is worth a buck or two. It’s important

    A buck or two of somebody else’s money? Heck yeah.

    • R C Dean

      Quite the insight into the mindset of someone whose mental wellbeing rests on making other people do the “right thing”.

      So, apropos of nothing, I know good old fashioned hemp rope is the traditional choice for nooses. Pros/cons on synthetic rope?

      • ron73440

        Synthetic can be reused more times.

      • Ownbestenemy

        This is why we needed to make lynching illegal!

      • MikeS

        I choose hemp in order to support American hemp growers.

      • Tundra

        Oh, I support growers.

        More and more, actually…

      • R C Dean

        That raises a different question:

        I wonder if any rope is still made in ‘Merica?

      • MikeS
      • MikeS

        Dammit. The search continues.

        Ravenox uses hemp yarns that are sourced with 100% hemp fibers from France and blended with 100% cotton that is grown in the United States.

      • R C Dean

        “Not from China” is good enough for me.

      • Gustave Lytton

        “The capitalists will sell us the rope to hang them than we made for them!”

        /communism with Chinese characteristics

      • Ted S.

        Isn’t American-made part of Creosote Achilles’ fetish?

  14. Tundra
    • MikeS

      ALOL

    • Sean

      🙂

  15. The Late P Brooks

    If I were to fight, it wouldn’t be for the *spit* government. It would be for me and mine, and my neighbors and community.

    This. Fuck the government. Fuck the “institutions”. Fuck “society”.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    So, apropos of nothing, I know good old fashioned hemp rope is the traditional choice for nooses. Pros/cons on synthetic rope?

    It always seemed to me hemp rope would be too stiff and have too much friction to slip properly in a hangman’s noose. maybe I just haven’t seen the good stuff.

    • R C Dean

      My understanding is you snug the knot up first, and with sufficient drop the big hangman’s knot breaks the neck. If not, well, they’ll strangle eventually. Por encourager les autres.

      • slumbrew

        Yep, done properly it’s supposed to snap your neck in a comparatively painless fashion.

        Slowly strangling to death can’t be fun.

      • Ted S.

        Slowly strangling to death was crucifixion.

      • slumbrew

        Yes, but that was by design.

        You aren’t supposed to strangle to death with hangin’.

      • R C Dean

        Ackshually, more suffocation than strangling.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    I wonder what sort of alarm bells you’d set off if you googled “How to make a hangman’s noose”?

    • R C Dean

      You mean, you don’t know? I think it was one of the first knots I learned in Cub Scouts.

      • Brochettaward

        The Bro was a Scout briefly. They got angry at him for answering too many questions and not giving the other boys a chance and then took apart his wooden race car because it was fucking fast. It was First and they made it last.

        Fuck the Scouts and their seconding nature.

      • Brochettaward

        IT’S A HIVE OF SECONDING AND VILLAINY.

      • juris imprudent

        Not that you carry any bitterness about it.

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Show us on the doll where the Scoutmaster “firsted” you.

      • slumbrew

        I think you have a typo

      • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

        Hey, someone had to be first.

    • The Hyperbole

      I googled it and watched a how to video, I’ll let you know if they vanish me. The video had a suicide/self harm warning and you tube put a suicide hotline link under the video as it played.

      • Fourscore

        “Suicide Help Line? Well, I’ve got this “friend” that’s very interested in making a hang man’s noose. See, he’s wondering how many wraps does it need before he puts the tag end into the loop and tightens? He wants it to look authentic and everything”

      • R C Dean

        See, he’s wondering how many wraps does it need

        13. I swear, its like you people don’t have any useful knowledge.

      • slumbrew

        I see we had similar scouting experiences; good to know other places covered the essentials too.

    • Compelled Speechless

      I think if you just do the general search, you won’t draw any attention. Now if you search “How to make a hangman’s noose that works on those slippery politicians” you might raise a couple of eyebrows towards your insurrectionist ass.

      • Mojeaux

        Nah, you just claim you’re a writer and it’s research for a book. And THEN start elaborating on the plot. “But wait–here’s the backstory. So, okay, my character–” “No, no, that’s okay. Thanks. Good luck on your book!”

      • Compelled Speechless

        Why do I feel like you may be projecting here?

      • Mojeaux

        No, YOU’RE projecting!

  18. The Late P Brooks

    I was never a scout.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    I had a friend who liked to say, “Oh, you’d bitch if they hung ya with a silk rope.”

    • juris imprudent

      Can’t you at least wait til I’m close?

  20. Ownbestenemy

    “Transforming our economy to run on electric vehicles powered by clean energy with tax credits to help American families winterize their homes and use less energy —that will. That will help.” -Biden

    That will do it.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Barring anything unforeseen like nuclear war and/or economic collapse we’ll see some dividends in maybe ten years, twenty tops. Until then hold onto your hat and maybe take up breaking and entering
      In wealthy neighborhoods.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    “Transforming our economy to run on electric vehicles powered by clean energy with tax credits to help American families winterize their homes and use less energy —that will. That will help.” -Biden

    “Hey, Rocky! Watch me pull a rabbit outta muh hat.”

      • pistoffnick the refusnik

        Natasha was too good for Boris.

    • Sensei

      OK – let’s play, Joe. I’d like to buy one of these vehicles today after my car hypothetically was stolen.

      Hmm, Tesla has roughly 90 to 120 or more for most vehicles for delivery.

      KIA essentially only sells electrics in CA. You can special order in sycophant emissions states like NJ. That’s likely to take a while.

      I believe GM just started producing bolts again. The Hummer has delivered units in the 1000s if that high.

      Rivian – please…

      Ford – OK – there is a maybe a change for the Mach E.

      https://www.macheforum.com/site/threads/%F0%9F%93%88-mach-e-december-2021-sales-production-numbers-2-349-sold-5-405-produced.13005/#:~:text=Mach%2DE%20Production%3A%205%2C405%20vehicles,a%2065%25%20increase%20over%20November.

      Looks like Ford has production up 5k a month. It might be a while before we can replace all our basic transportation needs at the run rate.

      How about the electric F150. Well practicality aside it’s still vaporware.

      Yeah, I’d say our all electric transportation future is going to happen any time now.

      • Rat on a train

        Serfs only get electric scooters.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Trusties get the scooters. Everyone else walks. But it’s not too far inside the camps.

      • DEG

        Huh.

        Analyzing those numbers, Ford sold lass than half of the Mach-E vehicles made in 2021. They sold almost all (about 95% by my eye-balls) Mustangs produced. Ford made slightly more Mustangs (65K) than Mach-Es (63K).

        Hmmm….

      • Sensei

        I think they were forced to park a bunch for lack of complete hardware.

  22. Tundra

    SMOD time?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Only if you have a car or a house you need to heat or you like to eat food.

  23. Fourscore

    Check in with a local Boy Scout or Jussie.

    I carry a version with my drag out rope, keeps it neat in my pocket.

  24. Rebel Scum

    Russian agent.

    The price of gas is going through the roof, food prices are going to skyrocket even higher than they are already, and we’re facing the very real possibility of war with Russia—a nuclear holocaust. And for what? We still haven’t yet received an answer to this question.

    • Tundra

      I believe it was “Russian asset”.

      Nice assets, either way.

    • Compelled Speechless

      Why isn’t “to please Raytheon’s share holders” enough for you people!?!?!

    • Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

      To get Bad Orange Man, the Orange man who is bad.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    “Suicide Help Line? Well, I’ve got this “friend” that’s very interested in making a hang man’s noose. See, he’s wondering how many wraps does it need before he puts the tag end into the loop and tightens? He wants it to look authentic and everything”

    *aside*

    “Stop struggling, Senator. You’re just making it harder on yourself.”

    • R C Dean

      Its like watching an MLB slugger up against Little League pitchers. Sure, they hit every one out of the park, but could it be any easier?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Even a six-figure government job is no match for 3 vehicles….Just when I decided I wanted to be in the office a bit more…looks like going back down to 1 day a week for me

    • Lackadaisical

      I wasn’t even sure if real at first. :/

  26. Rebel Scum

    Economic genius.

    After Mitchell played a clip from Biden’s announcement where he stated that oil companies shouldn’t take advantage of the situation, she asked, “So, should Congress be monitoring profiteering?”

    Warren responded, “Absolutely, and actually, we are. I’m co-sponsoring, with Sen. Whitehouse and others, a bill on a windfall profits tax. Look, we get it, supply and demand, that prices go up. But profit margins should not go up. That’s just oil companies gouging when they do that. So, we’re going to be on them on this.”

      • rhywun

        Their base is insanely stupid. You work with what you have, I guess.

  27. Sean

    Is today a good day to order more ammo?

    (Damn SGAmmo and their e-mails.)

    • Rebel Scum

      Every day that ends in ‘y’ is a good day for that.

    • R C Dean

      Not as good as yesterday, better than tomorrow.

    • Animal

      It’s always a good day to order more ammo.

    • db

      Go ahead. If you don’t need the ammo, pull the primers, send them to me.

      • EvilSheldon

        Hey!

    • Sean

      Thanks for enabling me!

      Been on a bit of a spending spree lately, so I placed a small order (1/2 case).

  28. ron73440

    My co-workers are bitching about McConnell not supporting more school lunches or something.

    NPC’s in real life.

    I hate people.

    • ron73440

      Now they are all agreed that we just need to kill Putin.

      • Tundra

        Malice:

        “I don’t want to change your mind or argue with you, but I don’t want to share a country with you either”

      • kinnath

        Big shit hole invades little shit hole because two ethnic/cultural groups have been swapping control over a chunk of land for about a 1,000 years.

        Not our circus. Not our monkeys.

      • ron73440

        Not our circus. Not our monkeys.

        That should have been our foreign policy from the beginning.

      • kinnath

        No one gets paid to ignore other people’s problems.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Nope, not in government. They get paid to get invasively involved whether or not they’re wanted and come up with “solutions” that are a) not related to the problem b) actively make the problem worse OR c) which is both A and B, but is purposefully designed that way to make sure that there’s a permanent grift in place that requires lifetime appointments for legions of unwanted, unhelpful and overcompensated bureaucrats.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Isolationist !!11! Head in sand!!

      • Compelled Speechless

        Unfortunately, they’re only slightly dumber than the people they elect.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Warren responded, “Absolutely, and actually, we are. I’m co-sponsoring, with Sen. Whitehouse and others, a bill on a windfall profits tax. Look, we get it, supply and demand, that prices go up. But profit margins should not go up. That’s just oil companies gouging when they do that. So, we’re going to be on them on this.”

    “How can we ensure supply remains constricted?”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Keep that moron out of the rain or she’ll drown like a domesticated turkey. Have mercy, it’s like they’re trying to wreck us.

      • Sensei

        They aren’t trying they are actually doing so.

        They are doing it badly and inefficiently, but they will get to their goal.

      • Rebel Scum

        I figured she’d melt.

    • rhywun

      Really, gas should just be free for everyone. I don’t know why we’re having these pointless discussions.

      • Compelled Speechless

        It should not be free. It should be paid for by taxing billionaires! Whether or not it’s free to anyone after that doesn’t really matter to her.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Profit margins are a set static number? I learned from the wrong business minds ever.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Something vaguely unsettling about that guy like an Indian Mark Zuckerberg.

      • Lackadaisical

        He gives me the hebejeebes. One thing I’ve learned is that you ought to listen to that voice. It’s your subconscious telling you you’re in danger.

    • Compelled Speechless

      All your data are belong to us humans errr.. citizens.

    • Tundra

      Stay off the brakes, dummy!

    • Ted S.

      Serbia is a Russian border land?

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      I find it baffling we can accept that America sows dissent in other countries to tear them apart, but it’s tinfoil hat conspiracy to think the CCP or World Economic Forum would use the same tactic in America through DEI and AGW.

      • juris imprudent

        We are leading them to glorious freedom in our selfless quest to remake the world in our image. What fault can you find in that?

    • Ownbestenemy

      NATO countries providing arms and hardware to a country to fend off an aggressor somehow doesn’t count as being at war with another country.