“You n-n-need to tell me how to deal with Putin,” Joe said. He was close enough to Donald to feel his Florida aura radiating Big Alligator Energy.
“You’ve got to be tremendous,” Donald said, planting a lingering kiss on Joe’s stroke-stiffened face. “Yuge!” he mumbled as his tongue slithered across Joe’s dry fake teeth.
“Do I really have to be here for this?” Kamala asked from Munich, her grotesque face too close to the webcam, filling the Oval Office monitor.
“You’ll-ll-ll has to do this someday, so pay attention!” Joe snapped at the screen. “This is how all ex-presidents interact!”
“And I thought my vice-president was a whiny little bitch,” Donald muttered as he rubbed Joe’s chest and then paused. “Hey, where are your nipples?”
“Facelifts,” Joe explained. He opened his shirt and showed Donald the nipples on his collarbone.
“I can just about suck one if I try real hard,” Joe said brightly.
“You, you don’t have to show me,” Donald said, licking the exposed nipple himself.
“You shoulda seen Barry and Billy going at it,” Biden said, lost in the memory. “It wasn’t just White House protocol, if you know what I mean.” He tried to waggle his Botoxed eyebrows.
Donald kissed him long and hard, running his hand over the bulge in Joe’s diaper.
“You have to be forceful,” Donald said after breaking off the kiss. “He has to know you won’t take his nonsense!”
“But I need a war so badly,” Joe said. “Midterms are coming.”
“I know,” Donald said, nibbling the tab of skin behind Joe’s ears.
“Sanctions,” Joe moaned.
“Fuck sanctions,” Donald said, shuffling in close to attempt frottage. “You can’t get off on sanctions. Sanctions are pussy bullshit.”
“I don’t know how you did this for four years,” Joe said quietly.
“It’s a thankless job,” Donald said, unconsciously patting his hair. “Only a former President really understands.”
“I tried talking to Carter, but his wife always tried to get in on it,” Joe said. “I’d say, ‘Rosie, put your underwear back on,’ but she never listened.”
The two elderly men began to passionately kiss and didn’t hear the door to the Oval Office quietly open.
Finnegan gasped as she skidded to a halt on the filthy carpet. Joe and Donald, holding hands, turned to look at her.
“I don’t know why, but this is it, I’ve reached my limit,” she said quietly and left. Kamala’s cackle chased her from the room.
“She’ll be back!” Joe ejaculated forcefully.
“Ejaculated forcefully?” Donald asked. “Is that a real saying? Am I supposed to know it?”
“Donald, Donald,” Joe said, “Focus on me, on me.” Joe looked Donald in the eyes. “One minute of uninterrupted eye contact. You ready?”
They touched foreheads and stared into each other’s eyes.
“Gay!” Kamala brayed.
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!
the practice of touching or rubbing against the clothed body of another person in a crowd as a means of obtaining sexual gratification.
I’m here to learn…
This wrecked my suspension of disbelief.
Trump has better taste than this.
That’s what his beards want you to think.
I dunno, I can mabye see The Donald getting caught in a three-way with a couple of cute latin rentbois. Septuagenarian diaper-play might just be a bridge too far…
I just knew this one would bring an appearance from HM.
“It’s a thankless job,”
Now there’s the truth.
Joe ejaculated forcefully.
Must’ve been a long time coming.
“She’ll be back!” Joe ejaculated forcefully.
“Ejaculated forcefully?” Donald asked. “Is that a real saying? Am I supposed to know it?”
—
How did Donald comment on the text?
That’s some fourth wall shit right there
The Donald is Deadpool.
Maybe Donald is in Joe’s head? Maybe all of them are.
The Donald is Joe’s Hat? Finnegan must be The Hair.
Joe needs a Teleprompter for everything.
I…uh…ummm…
Maybe I’ll head back to Twitter.
GAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
Been lulled into complacency for a while, haven’t we?
I didn’t realize until now that Jomala was set in a different universe than H&H.
Wow.
I thought that after all these years I had developed an immunity to SF-induced nausea.
Wrong.
“Facelifts,” Joe explained. He opened his shirt and showed Donald the nipples on his collarbone.
This line had me braying like Kamala, however.
#metoo. I am now ready to go
back to workto a rubber room.The bulge is NOT on the front.
Do you want my lunch? I’m no longer hungry.
I’ve got a one year old, so I change diapers a lot. That was my first thought.
Well, SF, you… outdid yourself. Glad I hadn’t eaten yet.
Question for wherever feds are monitoring this site – does it feel like punishment? Do you secretly enjoy this? Dare you share it with your coworkers?
*whichever
These episodes aside, they probably wonder how SF has such surveillance of the West Wing.
This series is really a covert way for a secret serviceman to publish his memoirs?
No Fed could tolerate the image of Biden engaging in foreplay with the dastardly Trump.
*thousand yard stare down at uneaten lunch*
I ain’t wasting my steak. I’m powering through.
That’s what the Donald said.
As he slathered it in ketchup.
🙁
Jesus, don’t get me going again! If I still have anything left it’s just going to come out as dust just like Biden.
Forcefully ejaculated?
[Hannibal Lector voice] Was it mushy? Or did it have nice texture? [/HLv]
Are we back to talking about the diaper bulge?
*rhythmic hurking sounds*
What a bunch of nancies. Try going to a pathology lab at lunch, and we can talk about “I’ve lost my appetite”.
My Dad was a pathologist – I visited him at work…
My lunch hour is before the midday posts, which I normally don’t get to see until after I finish work at 2:30.
Oh dear God….
*hurk*
This episode was an unexpected plot twist.
I’m really glad Finnegan is getting a character arc. She’s finally learning to stand up for herself. I teared up for a minute, and then realized I JUST ran out of tissues.
Because of the forceful ejaculation?
Yeah. My coworkers look sooooo uncomfortable right now. I guess I’m going to be the office Toobin from now on.
Uncomfortable? Or intrigued?
They’ll never admit their true feelings. Buncha prudes.
Lemonparty.com
That wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, though I’m happy I used Tor with a private window.
Best one yet SF! I give it 3 1/2 out of 4 shameful involuntary and shameful erections.
Admit it – you’ve rubbed one out to Sugarfree.
No shame here. This is some red hot smut.
In one dark moment when I thought I was a seconder, I masturbated to Kathy Griffin.
I’m still judging you.
Mmmm Kathy Griffin….. Strawberry Prime as I like to call her. One day she’s going to agree to my requests to have a three-way with Psaki while the Donald severed head watches. Judge all you want, but you know you’ll click the video when it’s released.
Who wants to volunteer to hold the camera?
It’s going to be a GoPro mounted on the Drumpf head.
Oh, there will be a GoPro mounted on a head….but it won’t be the mannequin’s.
Your move SugarFree.
Is the ending going to be like St. Elsewhere? Where the autistic kid (in this case dementia Joe) made all of it up in his mind?
We can only hope.
Joe’s going to wake up next to zombie Suzanne Pleshette.
Hmmm…probably still would
What has been read…..
…
.
Have you no shame?
Ew…
“It is like writing history with lightning.”
Neat.
Cool. I love these kinds of videos.
Beautiful, thanks Sean!
This is awesome. Proof that Joe needs a Teleprompter even for the most basic interactions.
From the dead-thread, LC1789 sez Once again, America is not going into these nations to take them over for control. America always gets dragged into non-clearly defined situations.
Looking for hornets nests to stick your dick into is not getting dragged into things. This is what our elite love and have loved since fucking TR.
At least when we invaded Mexico – without legitimate cause – we got something out of it.
Seems pertinent.
Keep the fights in the post where they started please.
At least when we invaded Mexico – without legitimate cause – we got something out of it.
I was surprised to read the other day that the new boundary was supposed to run straight across from Arizona through California (which would have given us the northern tip of the Sea of Cortez and Tijuana). But we cheaped out because we didn’t want to pay for the fence.
I did not know that, RC. The things we learn on this site. Any pointers to that info?
Does this mean we need to start a campaign of, “31-20 or Fight?”
I did a little digging, and would have to do more, but it looks like the original treaty that resulted in the Gadsden Purchase called for 45,000 square miles, for the price of $15mm, but the Senate only ratified $10mm for 29,670 square miles. So, probably not the price of the fence after all, but we still cheaped out. A map of the original 45,000 square miles isn’t jumping out of the internet at me.
Poor ji. He no like citations.
Joe shouldn’t be worried, the UN is going to handle the situation.
United Nations: Russia Presides Over Emergency UN Meeting on Russian Aggression
They’ll remind everyone that they’re supposed to have a monopoly on foreign conflict resolution theater!
Wow. Not The Bee.
Picking up the derp that count potato shared last post:
“Parents don’t lack rights in the U.S. They already enjoy the wide freedom to educate their children as they wish, including at home or in private schools. They can raise their children to be Christians or witches or both; the state does not interfere. Liberals are generally satisfied with this state of affairs: There is no appetite to prohibit parents from raising their children in even the most hate-filled churches. Yet the right behaves as if parental rights were under sustained and serious attack, as if the parent has been dislodged from a high place and, as Abbott said, should be restored.”
Clearly the writer doesn’t live in a shitty blue state. They make it near impossible to home school, and constrain every school to require medical procedures and muzzles on your child. You are literally for forced medical procedures and kung flu tyranny if you support Democrats. The parent has no place in their great society.
And really sly to put the ‘hateful church’ lie in there, as though parents who want the best for their children are really just hateful bigots. Go die in a ditch.
Look, who knows better what your children need? You, or the wise masters in DC?
I think most people’s children would be well served if they were taken out behind the tool shed and beaten with a switch a couple times a week. I want my Beat Your Children Act passed ASAP. The world would be a better place.
Can you believe most parents don’t even have degrees in education?
You can send them to private school, but you aren’t getting your $1K + in monthly property taxes back.
The advantage of charter schools, but there are limitations.
Charter is a step in the right direction, but isn’t libertarian perfection.
Spectrum:
Public schools
Charter schools
Backpack vouchers
Separation of school and state
In the realm of possibility, I’d love to see backpack vouchers. Most parents would home school because they’d be making 50k a year.
(assuming they had 2 kids)
This is “we’re not coming for your guns” but for kids. Within 5 years, there will be some young upstart leftist willing to pull off the mask and say “Hell yeah, we’re coming for your kids!”
50 years of radical deconstruction of the nuclear family won’t be allowed to go to waste!
Eric Swalwell will be happy to nuke parents.
And what a brave new world that will be.
KDW gets his dick whacked.
That’s not cool man. Based on your title I was expecting a hilarious genital obituary or a bonus disgustingly titillating SF article. I got neither. Lame.
Classic GOP.
See what I mean about the total governmental investment in the central lie about Afghanistan. I doubt any of them actually believe that Afghanistan was going to end any other way, but that doesn’t stop them from pretending otherwise for a particular purpose.
Never mind that the problem of the perpetuation of the Cold War mindset, 30-odd years after it ended.
It’s another cold hard reminder that the Neo-Cons that have been behind every major foreign policy disaster so far this century remain in charge, unpunished and unphased.
unpunished and
unphasedunfazedYou’re welcome.
I don’t see what would be wrong with phasers, set to kill preferably.
“Do we set these to ‘zorch’ or ‘deep fry’?”
Don’t zorch me bro!
Set phasers to malky!
This century? Last century too, only then they called themselves “Democrats”.
What a coincidence. They’re basically back to calling themselves Democrats again! See: Kristol, Frum, Rubin, Beelzebub….
Really nothing con about them. They haven’t conserved a thing
They have conserved their Trotskyism.
Nonsense. The trust funds of Lockheed executive’s children will be preserved for generations to come.
They’re going into full war drum mode. Yet again.
“I don’t know why, but this is it, I’ve reached my limit,” she said quietly and left.
You and me both, sister.
Romania! Famous Football Club Steaua Bucharest Bans Vaccinated Players From Competing
That’s a new one.
robc and rhywun.
The third book by Vinge for the “Deepness” books was a direct sequel to “Fire Upon the Deep”. Not nearly as good as the first, but not bad. However I believe there was a follow-on book to that one which I haven’t yet read.
He has some other great material too – short stories, essays, “Marooned in Realtime”, etc. Like Pournelle, etc it’s interesting to see hardcore STEM guys write SF – even when they go into the really theoretical/fantastical stuff.
That sequel book was nice because it gave a bit more closure for the kids from the first book and getting the tines into space, etc. (some of the same threats based on the waves though).
I read his Rainbows End, it was the least impressive Vinge I have read, and it was still okay.
Yeah…That’s the one after “Children of the Sky” I think. Another good standalone is “The Peace War”. (should probably re-read at work after I finish my current stack)
I remember liking it, and the 3rd “Zones” book.
It’s weird that I have almost no memory of the 2nd book (prequel).
“Marooned in Realtime” is an excellent story.
Stephen Baxter is another good one in that mold.
Sure, Steve.
OFFS, what a dolt.
Wait, I thought Putin was already too afraid to try shit like this…
https://www.foxnews.com/media/social-media-users-dig-up-bidens-two-year-old-warning-putin-doesnt-want-him-to-be-president
Big bad Joe gonna put him in his place!
Of course Biden won’t put up with it. He’s laundering all his retirement money through Ukraine. Hopefully Hunter still has those Taiwan deals in place in case things go south…..
It’s been mentioned already, but the number one thing allowing Russian adventurism is high energy prices. Which are fueled by the policies of leftwing politicians from DC to Berlin, but particularly DC. It’s the surest sign of just how incompetent our top men are that they think they can bluster and intimidate Putin in his own backyard while simultaneously being completely dependent on him. What the fuck is Western Europe going to do if a war with Russia actually breaks out? Tell me that citizens of Germany are ready and willing to sacrifice affordable heat int he winter for the Ukraine.
Our political class is just fucking terrible and Putin runs circles around them. Someone on here yesterday mentioned that they have been basically free of consequences for their decisions for the last 30 or so years. Well, yea, that coincides with the loss of the only actual existential threat the West faced. Now they are forced to invent them to drum up support and their sense of self-importance (see Climate Change), yet might also bungle us into a war with a nuclear power…
…in large part because of their climate policies. It’s something to behold, the sheer incompetence of the Mandarins.
I honestly don’t know if they are so stupid they actually believe all that catastrophic climate chaos/net zero horseshit, or if they are so dishonest they are happy to grift on it in spite of the obvious disastrous consequences.
The bureaucrats on high are dishonest. Their Useful Idiots are, well, idiots.
You get it. People are always saying that “conspiracy theories” can’t be real because they would need to involve too many people in the know. They actually don’t, they just need a few good liars at the top and a shit ton of idiots that gobble up anything their overlords tell them for a pat on the head. The idiots are legion.
Incompetence or malice? I’m drifting away from the disinterested idiot model of politicians.
They’re incompetent at what they say they’re doing. They’re remarkably good at what they’re really doing.
Embrace the power of “and”.
I’ve been saying it for years. They are first and foremost evil.
Many of them are of course also dumb, but the evil is a necessary requirement.
That’s by far the shortest piece of fiction that man’s ever written.
Incorrect. He tweeted quite a bit about Russiagate a few years back.
Biden Halts Oil and Gas Leases Even as Oil Nears $100 A Barrel
Bold move Joe. That should help Vlad finance any military adventures he has planned.
Sugarfree just got all of us to read gay erotica involving two geriatric men.
Dammit. When you’re right, you’re right.
Right. Next time write about somebody who can still get it up, maybe Trudeau and Macron.
Um, are you sure either one of them actually gets it up?
Popsicle sticks and tape will solve that problem. I mean, that’s what I heard.
Somebody’s been reading Irvine Welsh
Nope, just a lot of Good Humor sticks.
You imply that I needed SugarFree’s help…
Cheeseheads:
This is an excellent creamery, and they have a 22% off code this week
https://www.considerbardwellfarm.com/
Elden Ring is getting amazing reviews.
I’ll get it if it’s easier than Bloodborne. I genuinely tried to get into that, but I just don’t see how people can get into games that want you to fail so badly and so consistently. There’s a challenge and then there’s masochism.
Souls games are hard. I know people who play them on “easy” mode and still feel satisfied. This one is apparently no different.
Maybe I’ll come back to it in a while when it’s on sale. I have a back catalog of games I’ve already bought and no time to play them all with little kids at home. When I do get the time, I don’t want to spend it repeating every boss fight 10x. I just don’t derive a sense of accomplishment from games like some people do now apparently.
Yeah I usually wait for the first expansion pack on RPGs anyway. Like to only play through them once. Don’t know if this one is getting one, but…
Modern RPG’s are so long that I don’t even need expansions. I loved Witcher 3, but by the time I finished it and started the first expansion I needed a long break from it and never went back.
That’s because you’re not 14 years old any more.
I have the same problem. I love exploring, solving puzzles, and even some regular combat.
I cannot stand boss battles.
made in collaboration with fantasy novelist George R. R. Martin
So the release date will postponed indefinitely?
You’ll never be able to finish the game. At some point it will just stop loading.
Close It will be made into a similar game by people with less talent but an ability to follow a roadmap by someone who is really good. It will be incredible for the first 3/4 at which point the developers become tired and disinterested and start making a bunch of deals to take over other properties, so they hastily put together an ending that sacrifices everything that made everything that came before it so good after their roadmap runs out. Then everyone else will realize that they actually aren’t all that talented and take away all the deals they made that made them abandon the thing everyone loved making the whole thing meaningless and cause their fandom to spiral in to helpless nihilism.
But that first 3/4 is really good.
My backlog is big enough that I don’t
wantneed to buy games at release prices anymore.Eewww.
Good thing I was already violently ill after breakfast.
Another great SF set up.
A couple weeks of excellent, but relatively tame, stuff….and then “ Donald kissed him long and hard, running his hand over the bulge in Joe’s diaper.”
Is there word for a feeling of combined amusement and revulsion?
Revulment?
Ekelsunterhaltung is as close as I can think of one.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10542309/Fresh-lab-leak-fears-study-finds-genetic-code-Covids-spike-protein-linked-Moderna-patent.html
Humans can be very arrogant.
This pairs up nicely with the claim that the vaccine and virus were being developed as a matched pair. Which also explains why they were able to move so quickly into trials and production.
Apparently there’s a “loophole” in the treaty that bans developing bioweapons: if it’s used to develop vaccines. Dual research and development is okay.
one in 3 trillion chance
So you’re saying there’s a chance?
About as much of one as me getting a fourway with Liz Hurley, Salma Hayek, and Halle Berry,
Wow.
Now that’s a situation.
SCIENCE!
Explains the big dip in their stock on Feb 14. People in the know getting out.
At this point, does it even matter? They’ll never prove it definitively. Evidence will continue to mount it was a leak, and no one will ever be punished or held accountable in anyway for it.
You know why? Because just about half the population is committed to the lie and the other half that at least has skepticism is too spineless to do anything about it.
Here’s the published study.
https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fviro.2022.834808/full
Speaking of things that turn your stomach, Russell Brand details how Pfizer, the least trusted name in the least trusted business sector made $40B from vaccines last year. Well worth your 15 minutes.
I have been making some of these arguments, but he brings up a lot of supporting facts. I wonder how long that video’s going to last on YouTube.
I had no idea Pfizer doesn’t do much in-house research, they just buy up other companies. No wonder Bill Gates likes them.
*thinks back to the 90s*
Your logic checks out.
Pfizer Bob?
Maybe Bill Gates likes them because they have a private jet that can take them to an island full of underage hostages for him to have his way with. I heard something happened to his old supplier.
I had no idea Pfizer doesn’t do much in-house research, they just buy up other companies
There are a lot of start up pharma companies. They are able to fund benchtop research and maybe early stage clinical. If the product is promising, you’re looking at another 10 years of clinical trials plus all of the regulatory headaches that go with it. And there’s still a sizeable probability that the product will fail to gain approval and all the money and time are flushed down the drain. That’s beyond the capability of most of these companies, but they can cash out by selling to large pharma company.
they can cash out by selling to large pharma company
Almost without exception, that is their exit strategy from day one.
Excellent. Thanks, TOK!
*stares unblinking*
Don’t stare in the pool.
https://youtu.be/lw2w2_q5pdk
Nice, quite the flashback with that one! Thanks.
Just imagine the “consultations” between LBJ and Richard Nixon.
I’m imagining a dungeon and a lot of leather.
Greco Roman?
Yep and Kissinger playing referee in a gimp costume.
Wait, what?
Victimizing the poor
The chairman of Senate Republicans’ campaign operation on Tuesday unveiled his vision for the future of the GOP, which was quickly met with a retort from the White House.
“I’ll warn you; this plan is not for the faint of heart,” Sen. Rick Scott of Florida, the chairman of the National Republican Senatorial Committee, writes in the introduction to his 11-point plan, which he said he hoped would “strike fear in the heart of some Republicans.”
Among the most attention-grabbing of his proposals in the memo, which says it was paid for by his campaign and not the NRSC, is completing Donald Trump’s border wall and naming it after the former President, as well as calling for all Americans to pay an income tax “even if a small amount.”
White House press secretary Jen Psaki seized on the latter proposal, tweeting Tuesday that Scott and “Senate Republicans just released an economic plan that doesn’t include a single proposal to lower prices for the middle class,” and claiming “he wants to raise taxes” on Americans, “including on seniors and working families.”
Pretending government programs are all free is a much better plan.
LOL like (a) the left gives a shit about the middle-class and (b) the president has the ability to “lower prices”
Did I miss the Dem proposal to lower taxes on the middle class?
Sorry, misread as “lower taxes”, not “lower prices”.
Are prices different for the middle class? Why wouldn’t she be most concerned about prices for the poor?
But the poor don’t have access to a new Camaro!!
It’s all about access now. They aren’t barred from purchasing a new car, but if they can’t afford it, they don’t have access.
It’s equally legal for both the poor and the rich to sleep under a bridge.
Why do I hear that in Hilary’s voice?
Equity. It’s all about fucking equity now.
The mental gymnastics are truly Olympian to compare the anguish visited upon the poor innocents of Ottawa in contrast to the righteous indignation expressed in the summer of BLM. Not that she talked about those protests. Nope, the only point of comparison was Unite the Right in Charlottesville. It’s like nothing else ever happened in between, not even Jan. 6 which must have simply been too terrible to talk about.
Cool lynx.
Well, it is a SF OP after all.
A lot of people think the key to Firsting is in the wrists and fingers. But I’ll tell you what, the pelvic thrust is a greatly underappreciated component of the technique.
Well, you must not be exercising your pelvis properly, cuz it hasn’t helped with your blather control 😉
I thought the key to fisting was – uh – never mind.
Oops….
https://twitter.com/disclosetv/status/1496555793092685824
Seems the health insurance company is getting tired of being fucked in the ass.
Health insurance actuaries are going to have some real interesting numbers over the next few years.
It’s been several decades since I was expected to be able to read German. I hope there’s an English version out there somewhere.
It’s too bad the article is behind a paywall.
I didn’t get to the paywall because I needed to translate the cookie policy popup page and gave up.
The fact that the picture in the tweet shows “Welt+” should be a hint, too.
https://twitter.com/disclosetv/status/1496577835477180425
Short version: They calculate 245K vaccine side effects in a sample population of 11M.
The Paul Ehrlich Institute calculated 245K side effects; the insurance company claims this is low by a factor of 10.
You’re right. By a factor of 10.
As I posted above, Pfizer made $40B on vaccines, and insurance companies have to pay for those, right? Maybe they’ll fight it out and we’ll accidentally benefit from that.
CNN is pro-gun now?
JUST NOW: “The Ukrainians will fight like hell…if every Ukrainian takes a gun, Russians don’t have a prayer. I mean the military can fight, but… Ukrainians are really ready today.”
@ninakhrushcheva on the Ukrainian resolve.
First the fearing for Ukrainian sovereignty and now this.
Nina has a very interesting ear. Is that an extension holding the earring?
Ha! That dude’s name is Nina.
Nine Khrushcheva would be a feminine name.
You only need guns to stand up to mean ol’ Russian governments who don’t sincerely have your best interests at heart. You don’t need to fight our overlords, they’re altruist and would never do a single thing that wasn’t following The Science, completely necessary and in the interest of every man woman and child. We have a “Democracy!”
Someone likely linked to this already, but so what. Here is an interesting flowchart created by IJ detailing the civil asset forfeiture process.
Any politician that defends this process should be introduced to a lamp post and/or woodchipper.
A lot of what I read around these parts pisses me off. I can’t even read this shit.