GlibFit 4.0 – Fitness Boxing

by | Apr 24, 2022 | GlibFit | 292 comments

 

If I recall correctly, there are one or two GlibFitters who box (have boxed?). I don’t think it was for specifically for exercise. I think it was more like this or this.

I can’t recommend getting brain damage as part of your exercise routine. Instead, let’s take a look at fitness boxing.

Fitness boxing involves throwing punches at the air or at a punching bag. You can do this on your own or in a class. There are two main types of these exercise classes. In one, you follow a leader and do a series of boxing moves all choreographed to bouncy music, similar to an aerobics class. The moves include a combination of large, sweeping punches (crosses, hooks, uppercuts); smaller punches (jabs); squats (ducks); and short, quick steps forward and back. The other type of exercise class involves strength training, stretching, and hitting a punching bag.

 

 

Fitness boxing has a number of health benefits. One is strength. You’re swinging your arms, moving the muscles of your arms and shoulders, increasing your upper-body strength. When you’re in the boxer crouch with a wide stance, with your knees slightly bent, you’re strengthening your core muscles, back, and legs.

Fitness boxing is also a great aerobic exercise. Aerobic exercise gets your heart pumping and helps lower the risk of high blood pressure, heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. It can strengthen bones and muscles, burn more calories, and lift mood. Aerobics can also boost your endurance. Aerobic exercise is associated with improvement in certain brain functions.

I can tell you from personal experience this is a classic case of getting out of the exercise what you put into it. If you stay in more or less constant motion for a three-minute round, you will be grateful to take a short break before the next round. Add in some quick flurries of punches and you will break a sweat during the first round.

— • —

This week’s music is not “Eye of the Tiger.”

About The Author

Chafed

Chafed

I'm looking California but feeling Minnesota

292 Comments

  1. Gustave Lytton

    This week’s music is not “Eye of the Tiger.”

    Going with the Rye or the Kaiser?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      +1 Nature Trail To Hell

  2. westernsloper

    I gave up hitting things with my hands a few years a go or so. It made my wrists hurt too much. That was then. Now I think I could hit things as much as I want since my joints have strengthened. But we can’t talk about that because I don’t eat vegetables and will soon be distraught with constipation and scurvy.

    • TARDis

      Mix a little Epsom Salt with your booze. You’ll be fine.

      • westernsloper

        I am unsure where you are going with that link.

      • pistoffnick

        Just that it is possible to live for a year just eating meat. It has been done.

        /carry on my wayward son. There’ll be peace when you are done.

      • westernsloper

        It has been done.

        It has been done forever. Now though, we have to supplement with Monsanto soy beans and grains or you are not trying to be healthy.

      • Tulip

        Bread has also been around thousands of years.

      • westernsloper

        So has slavery. Your point?

      • Hyperion

        You know what else has been around for thousands of years?

      • westernsloper

        Ok, I retract the previous smart ass. Is the bread today the same as it was a thousand years ago? calling something the same name today does not mean it is the same it was a thousand years ago. I am the mind the thing that might be closest is meat. Beef is beef. For the most part.

      • Tulip

        Well, if you’re making the claim that wheat has changed you’re right. If you’re making the claim beef hasn’t, you’re wrong. New hybrids, very different diet.

      • Hyperion

        “Is the bread today the same as it was a thousand years ago?”

        A thousand years ago, it took 6 men to carry a loaf of bread and a tree saw to cut it. Today, you can wad it up into a ball and wash your walls with it.

      • westernsloper

        No of course I am not making the claim beef has not changed because I know they have been massaging genetics forever. Hence how they raise cows here………..blah blah blah………….But if you think tweaking soy bean dna in a lab is the same as breeding different cattle to get a robust breed is the same, well, you might work for the government as a masseuse.

      • Tulip

        I think the diet modern beef are fed is the bigger issue.

      • Tundra

        Tulip, most cows spend 90+ percent of their lives on grass. Some are finished on grain. It appears that the nutrient content is almost indistinguishable. Chickens and pigs are a much bigger problem.

        Have you watched Sacred Cow on Prime? It’s a fantastic doc on regenerative ag.

      • westernsloper

        If you would like I can introduce you to any number of ranchers who have cows who eat grass. If you think cows should not eat grass I can not help you.

      • Tulip

        Maybe I’m thinking of dairy. You’re so hostile. Maybe you should have a cookie.

      • MikeS

        What we need are carnivorous cows. No trace of vegetable matter what so ever!

      • Fourscore

        Pigs will eat chickens so pork is a twofer

      • Brochettaward

        Pigs will eat man. Even Firsters. Hasn’t anyone ever seen Hannibal?

      • slumbrew

        A brilliant scene.

    • Tulip

      You put lime in your tequila. No one thinks you’re getting scurvy.

      • westernsloper

        Heh! I found it funny overly educated people thought if you did not have limes you WOULD get scurvy.

      • Hyperion

        They also think that is you don’t buy iodine added salt that you will get a goiter.

      • Hyperion

        Well, Glibs is the only place you will ever hear stuff like this.

      • Nephilium

        What do you mean? I saw that band play live all the time back in the day. I even made it onto one of their live tracks.

      • Hyperion

        I’ve never heard that song or heard of them before. And I have listened to a LOT of music.

      • Fourscore

        Well, I have always used iodized salt and have never had a goiter, so there!

      • Hyperion

        I haven’t used it in over 20 years and don’t have a goiter. I guess we need a study, can you secure the funding? I suggest we do the study in Tahiti for ‘scientific’ reasons.

      • Fourscore

        I’m game but I’ll take a shower if necessary.

        /Checks passport. Yep, good to go

  3. DEG

    Weight has been fluctuating. Today’s day drinking won’t help that. Next week’s beer festival won’t either.

    I hit 215 lbs for four reps for my last set on deadlifts last Friday. I was shooting for six reps, but my core started feeling wobbly, so I called it instead of risking aggravating my disc herniation.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I got my training in yesterday with the woodchipper and chainsaw. Pulled a muscle while changing knives on the chipper. Feeling it today.

    • Fourscore

      Keep those w’chipper skills sharp, we’re gonna need someone with the know how.

  5. Mustang

    I tried fitness boxing for a few months. Man, that is no joke. You’ll get your stamina up in a hurry.

    • westernsloper

      I found nothing I could not agree with.

  6. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    I sweated like a hog at the fair packing up my clothes, so I guess I did a fitness. Or it could be that it’s Africa hot in Alexandria today.

  7. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    OK, as much as Zach Braff irritates me, he and Donald Faison reunited in a T Mobile commercial is cute AF.

  8. DEG

    Whoa.

    That “Hellraiser” video is awesome. It looks like a homage to when “Heavy Metal” magazine was cool. I chuckled at the end where demonic Ozzy bit off the head of the bad guy.

    • Chafed

      I thought it might be to your liking. It has a little of the Heavy Metal influence while still being it’s own thing.

      • DEG

        I thought it might be to your liking.

        🙂

        Thanks!

  9. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Not enough wreckin’ at ‘Dega so far.

    • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

      (especially as relates to race hustler Bubba Wallace)

      • Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

        Oh, but he caused a wreck.

    • juris imprudent

      Well the end of the race was some hot damn racin’!

      • Gender Traitor

        And Ross is the boss! ?

  10. Nephilium

    It appears that the winter of spin classes has kept up at least my base level of conditioning, although my endurance went to shit (an endurance spin class is only 75 minutes, regular ones are 45). So I’ve started building the big rides back up again. Got in just under 24 miles yesterday, and just over 30 miles today. My average speed is down a bit compared to last year, but there still aren’t leaves on the tree to help block the wind.

    • Chafed

      ?

  11. Hyperion

    I started boxing in elementary school. Back then it was called how to survive gettting beaten up every day by the playground bullies. And there were no safe spaces. If you ratted on the bullies, then the teacher would beat your ass with a paddle and everyone else would beat you up also for being a snitch. Then you’d have both a sore face and sore ass. So you kept your mouth shut and learned to ‘box’.

  12. Hyperion

    Hope it’s not too soon to OT, but the price of GPUs has went way down. Just found a 3090 for $1700, tempting…

    • Urthona

      There’s a couple on newegg.

      The 4090s come out in the fall so that probably helps too.

      • Hyperion

        I’m sitting here contemplating the MSI on Newegg for $1700, I might pull the trigger before they go back up again.

      • Urthona

        I have a 3090 in one box and a 3080 in another and honestly there’s no game that isn’t perfectly max settings on the 3080.

  13. ron73440

    I used to do a lot of that kind of exercise in the Marines as a MC Martial arts instructor.

    At 50, and trying to get back in shape, it’ll be awhile before I do that again.

    On the bright side, I did manage to run 3X a week for the last 2 weeks.

    Starting the gym+running on Monday.

    Not looking forward to the first week of soreness, but after that, it gets easier.

    • Chafed

      ?

  14. kinnath

    Daily Quordle 90
    7️⃣6️⃣
    5️⃣3️⃣

  15. Hyperion

    I’m too fucking bored or something. The weather is beautiful, I have all the patio doors and windows open. No interest in going outside though. Yesterday wife wanted to go shopping and got a little upset with me because I didn’t want to go, although she knows I don’t like that. And then I got bored and learned crypto mining and got it going around 6pm. I never turn my puter off, so the GPU can work 24/7 mining in the background like a good orphan slave. Bored again today even though I have work to do setting up new hydroponic system, but that is a lot of work and I don’t feel up to it. Bought a pizza cutter, might buy a GPU, small price difference in those 2 items. Wife wants a new 42k SUV, it’s purty, bigger price difference. too much time, too little money…

    • rhywun

      I stayed up late last night and still felt the need to get up at the usual time. Which means dragging all day and no desire to do a thing. Now I have to do some dishes, sigh.

      • Hyperion

        I drank too much last night and stayed up too late and still got up at 8:30am, grouchy and in a bad mood, and no motivation to do anything that takes much effort at all. Sort of a big waste of a weekend day. Ravens are making a lot of noise right now, good thing my hangover is gone…

  16. The Late P Brooks

    I need to lay off that stupid stair climber machine. I think it’s really screwing with my hips. More stretching would help.

    • Chafed

      Stretching always helps. It should be an Iron Law.

    • Tulip

      Stretching is always good.

    • Hyperion

      That’s pretty damn cool!

      • Evil Scientist, Boo!

        I like to play with fire 😉

      • Hyperion

        With very interesting results.

    • Not Adahn

      What’s the difference between the wall art and the cutting boards?

      • Hyperion

        You have to pull the wall art off the wall before using it as a cutting board.

      • Evil Scientist, Boo!

        You win the prize! Dark star is Teak but it looks so cool, I would hang it as wall art,

    • Fourscore

      Damn, really, really nice, unusual. Good show, Yusef

      • Evil Scientist, Boo!

        Thanks 4×20, the fun part is working with very high voltage, 12 thousand volts is no joke, and it’s just mesmerizing to watch.

      • Hyperion

        Well, it’s pretty cool, looking forward to seeing what new things you will come up with using that.

    • MikeS

      Very cool!

    • DEG

      Looks cool!

      • Evil Scientist, Boo!

        I like the rolling pin, well I like them all,

    • Grumbletarian

      “The simple truth is that a gun registry does not exist and is not even being contemplated to illegally track law abiding individuals who exercise their Second Amendment rights.”

      In actuality, the registry will LEGALLY track law abiding individuals. It’s just common sense regulation.

      • Not Adahn

        It’s not a registry, just a FedGov owned digitized record of all gun purchases made through FFLs who have retired or otherwise gone out of business.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Narrator: It’s a registry.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And FFLs will required to maintain those record indefinitely until they turn them over to the ATF as part of going out of business/retiring/otherwise losing or surrendering their FFL. No more 20 year sunset (of course if the dealer still has the record past 20 when turning it over today, the ATF doesn’t destroy it already).

  17. TARDis

    According to my Fatbuttᵀᴹ (Fitbit) watch, I walked over 6 miles and 13,500 steps today. Does that qualify for Glibfitness? Also, 22 floors.

    • Evil Scientist, Boo!

      Yes, good job!

    • westernsloper

      Nice work!

    • Nephilium

      Congrats.

      I always laugh when the FitBit and Google Fit say I hit my active minutes, but I didn’t get enough steps in. The app used to convert exercise into some small amount of “steps” which was silly, it looks like that was removed.

    • Tundra

      Fuck yes.

      Nice job.

    • Hyperion

      Yeah, that’s a good day’s walk, I assume anything over 10,000 is good.

      • MikeS

        What would *checks watch* 1101 steps be considered?

      • Hyperion

        It would suggest you been lying around the house all day, like me.

      • Fourscore

        Means you’ve been following me around.

    • Fourscore

      I got in a couple miles on the treadmill and more walking around, now that ice is gone from the yard. Cleaning up little odds and ends that I haven’t been able to do for a year. It’s really great to be outside again, I enjoy working from home. I’ll call it work even if it isn’t very difficult. Now for some sunshine and warmer weather.

      Got some plants going under the flourescents. Need to get the tiller going. Trimmed some apple trees but that wasn’t much of a job on a few small trees but still…

      • MikeS

        Got some plants going under the flourescents.

        ?

      • Evil Scientist, Boo!

        Get some LED grow lights, 10x the light for the same energy usage, well worth the cash

      • Shpip

        I tried using LEDs to cultivate portobellos last year. Didn’t work too well. I found out later that I was crowding the spores. You have to give those fungi as mushroom as you can.

      • pistoffnick

        Shpip is a fungi! Unfortunately his puns are shitake.

      • MikeS

        We’re getting winter here. Again. Snow was melting when it hit the ground for most of the day, but now it’s starting to turn the ground white. Supposed to be a high of 31 tomorrow. Extended forecast shows high 10-25 degrees below average. It’s getting depressing.

      • Nephilium

        High in the upper 80’s today, it snowed here on Monday and Tuesday, it’s supposed to drop back down into the 30’s this week again. The parks were crowded as hell yesterday and today as everyone who wanted to be outside went there. Not many people out on the lakes or rivers yet, but I did pass a couple of guys in waders fishing in one of the rivers today.

      • Hyperion

        Temp here says 61, it feels like 70. Maybe becuase no wind at all.

      • Chafed

        Did someone forget to tell your local weather that it’s spring?

      • MikeS

        We had a few days of spring back in late March/Early April. Then it came back with a vengeance to remind us that we are small and inconsequential.

      • Hyperion

        Since democrats control the weather, maybe they can pass a bill or Biden can do an executive order to mandate that Spring do what it’s supposed to do.

      • pistoffnick

        I thought the Joos controlled the weather?

        /looks to the Jewish Glib contingent to end my winter suffering

      • Tulip

        Wait not LEDs? *ducks*

      • Evil Scientist, Boo!

        LEDs rule!

      • Hyperion

        Preach it, bro!

    • TARDis

      Thanks for the encouragement youse guys, but I was being a bit facetious. I do a lot of walking at work. I’m making fun of my lack of discipline. It’s typical for me to get 10,000 steps before I even get in my car to go home. I think it’s 268 steps to the nearest pissoir, so double that to get back to my office. Seriously, I’ve clocked it. It’s one thousand steps from the parking lot. Shit, I forgot my phone in my car… 2,000 steps more. I’ve joked many times about the fact I’d be 300Lbs if I didn’t have a walking boss job.

      The point is, if I could make myself do some anaerobic exercise and reduce my alcohol intake, I’d be much more slightly more sexy. At least I put all my booze in the basement so I have to go get it.

  18. Tundra

    Chafed!

    I had a heavy bag in my basement at the last house. I can’t believe actual boxers can maintain pace for as long as they do. It’s fucking brutal.

    I’m really gonna focus on lifting now. I’ve been researching and reading a ton and, ironically, it looks like I’m under eating.

    Have any of you experimented with eating more, not less?

    (For performance, not prettiness)

    • Tulip

      I will note that weight watchers insisted you eat your points (their method instead of calories) and exercise could earn an additional 1 to 2 points. If someone wasn’t losing, the first thing they asked was, are you eating all your points including those from exercise. So eating a little more, may help both performance and prettiness

      • Tundra

        Good point. My appetite is waning as I get older. I was listening to a podcast and the guy said that the work in the gym is far and away the easiest, because it’s only a few times a week. Eating and sleeping is a much bigger chunk of the day and way, way harder. I think he’s right.

      • Chafed

        I think that’s about right.

      • westernsloper

        Weight watchers……Watching a bunch of people get fatter systematically!. I know nobody who changed their life on weight watchers.

      • Nephilium

        I’ve known a couple people who made positive changes on it. But like any other change, it takes work and commitment.

      • ron73440

        My mom is really obese (250-75lbs at 5’5″) and tried weight watchers many years ago.

        She would get pissed at “those skinny bitches, so proud of losing 2 or 3 pounds”, so she ended up quitting.

      • UnCivilServant

        2 or 3 pounds is within normal fluctuations of water weight.

      • TARDis

        Yep. If you actually go on a diet and stick to it, wait a week to weigh in for the first time.

      • Nephilium

        Positive change is hard. As are most worthwhile things.

      • Fourscore

        Mrs F worked for one of the diet programs, maybe Weight Watchers. She said the women would come in and take off their rings, watch, ear rings for the weigh in, to show that they were making improvements. ‘Course the following weigh in they’d have to do the same thing again so nothing was actually gained (lost).

      • Chafed

        I feel for your mom. In her head, she probably thinks she is flipping them the bird. In reality, she is punishing herself.

      • Tundra

        Oh, I do.

        But all of them transitioned after the initial weight loss.

        You need to find your long-term success. WW and most ‘diets’ are to knock you out of your fatty groove. They aren’t long term solutions.

    • Nephilium

      Just on the endurance riding portion, but I’ve never focused too much on strength training.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    College weight room had a heavy bag in the corner. Hitting that for a few minutes at the end of the workout is a good way to loosen up and flush some of that lactic acid out.

  20. LCDR_Fish

    I had a few fun interactions with the heavy bag at the base gym before they reinstituted mask mandates and kicked reservists out in January (thanks again to Mexican Sharpshooter for the gloves recommendation). The local 24hr gym I go to now (even if the base gym is accessible again) – doesn’t have a bag that I’ve seen…may ask – but they do have one of those dummies on a stand. Not sure how that’s different. I had tried a 30 sec workout – (just random punching and constant moving really)/1 min rest – thought I could do it for a while…think I got 3 iterations before it broke me ;p – great cardio workout.

  21. LCDR_Fish

    O/T… Stopped in Gourmeltz for lunch today and took a couple pics (posted on twitter). New stage not quite finished yet, but the new look is really nice – lost that narrow, tight look – extra wide now, more TVs up, great space. Got the outdoor bar open – and much nicer doing it in weather like this than in Nov.

    Also…I know their TDS and domestic politics comments have gotten stupid lately, but getting caught up on some Fifth Column podcasts from Feb/Mar (including Moynahan in Ukraine) and they’re sounding surprisingly rational when it comes to foreign coverage. I don’t think it’s Gell Mann…but some very good discussions even with Matt Taibbi and others.

    • DEG

      Stopped in Gourmeltz for lunch today and took a couple pics (posted on twitter). New stage not quite finished yet, but the new look is really nice – lost that narrow, tight look – extra wide now, more TVs up, great space. Got the outdoor bar open – and much nicer doing it in weather like this than in Nov.

      Excellent.

    • Chafed

      I really appreciated Moynihan’s reporting from Ukraine.

      • robc

        Isnt his wife from eastern Europe? I was thinking Polish or Czech but maybe Ukraine.

      • Chafed

        His ex is Swedish.

  22. Not Adahn

    Much walking. Feet hurt. Need better shoes.

    • Tundra

      Topos.

      • Not Adahn

        At that price they’d better be good.

      • Tundra

        Good shoes always cost.

      • Not Adahn

        Used some Discover points to buy a pair.

      • Tundra

        What size? If you hate them I will buy them from you.

      • Tulip

        Mizunos

    • westernsloper

      24,000 steps yesterday. Shoes worked. Feet ddid not fall off.

      • TARDis

        You robbed a bank and didn’t have a getaway car?

      • westernsloper

        Naaaa, just some days at work. It happens. Most days are only 10,000.

      • TARDis

        I understand. “Why am I so tired? Oh, 10 miles today.”

    • Ted S.

      Yeah, I’m getting to the point that I need to replace my hiking shoes.

      Sonny an I got in an 85-minute walk this morning on a trail that comes much closer to the parking area, so we’re more likely to see people coming in from the parking area. We only saw one biker, and ironically he came up behind us as we were on the out half of our walk.

      I hadn’t been on that trail since the end of last season, and it was amazing to see how many trees had been knocked down by the February ice storm and cut so that people could start going on the trails again.

      • Not Adahn

        I’m going to try and reschedule Cat and Thomas mtns for next Saturday.

    • Tundra

      I missed the Lily thread today. As always, she’s amazing.

  23. hayeksplosives

    Thoroughly enjoyable Darryl’s house (as in Darryl Hall) edition.

    https://youtu.be/YTnu27jHz-g

    • Hyperion

      I love Tommy Shaw.

    • DEG

      Favorite Daryl Hall & John Oates song.

      Supposedly they met while fleeing a gang shoot-out at a Philly nightclub. Two rival gangs were at the club, and started shooting. Hall and Oates fled, and met while they were fleeing.

      • Tundra

        Excellent.

        My favorite.

        Thanks, HE!

      • The Hyperbole

        You know your cracker-ass blue-eyed soul song slaps when an honest-to-god R&B group covers it.

      • Tundra

        Wow.

        Thank you, brother.

      • DEG

        It’s a good one.

  24. westernsloper

    I haven’t seen Suthen around lately. So here is this.

    • Hyperion

      It’s been a long time, hope he’s doing well.

      • Tulip

        He was here briefly, said something about health issues and hasn’t been back. I hope he’s ok.

    • DEG

      That’s a good band.

      Hopefully all is well with Suthen.

  25. Not Adahn

    Scores are in for the match yesterday — top third overall, first in my division. Shot a C classifier, not happy with my accuracy, but there’s so much space in the C class that even perfect shots wouldn’t have gotten me to B.

    What’s insane is the GM time. The course is start facing uprange, turn, draw, put two shots each into two half covered targets and knock down two steel poppers. The GMs are doing that in under three seconds. It takes me the better part of two just to get facing the correct direction and onto the first target.

    • db

      Dry fire draw practice dude. I used to stand over the edge of my bed and practice turn-draw-click-reload-click for 10 minutes a day.

  26. The Hyperbole

    DAILY QUORDLE ROUNDUP™©®
    (The “I’m not even making excuses today” Edition)
    #90
    Champ(s)
    rhywun 18

    l0b0t 19
    Rat on a train 19
    Not Adahn 20
    kinnath 21
    one true athena 21
    Tundra 22
    Ghostpatzer 23
    Grumbletarian 23
    The Hyperbole 23
    Translucent Chum 23
    whiz 23
    Tulip 23
    Sean 24
    TARDis 24
    Grummun 26
    SDF-7 26
    Ted S. 26

    Chump(s)
    MikeS 116

    19 players, 27.36842105 average, 7/12 TL. Tulip joins in the fun with a respectable first timers 23. Getting back to pre-‘SwissTwitterBitchPost’ numbers, the weekends are historically light on entries so here’s hoping we’ll be back to full strength mid-week or so. Remember friends don’t let friends Waffle.

    • MikeS

      Remember friends don’t let friends Waffle.

      It is obviously sub-par as far as word games go. I play it, but only as a warm up for the big show.

      It didn’t help much today.

    • Tulip

      What? I don’t count for the women’s division?

      • Brochettaward

        The Quordle Fascist got rid of the women’s division.

      • rhywun

        Artificial division into “man” and “woman” is so not progressive.

      • one true athena

        Patriarchy! Oppression! Handmaid’s Tale!

  27. Hyperion

    Now I’m starved Korean Food

    • Hyperion

      Although that was the wrong video, I meant to post this one.

      Again

      • Fourscore

        Mrs F uses corn and peas in her fried rice, as well as the other stuff. She eats a lot of rice, I eat a lot of fried rice (when she makes it)

      • pistoffnick

        OMG, she is cute!

  28. Brochettaward

    Now this is a story all about how
    My life got flipped turned upside down
    And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there
    I’ll tell you how I became The First Of All Firsters on a site called Glibs

    • Brochettaward

      In the depths of the internet born and raised
      On 4chan is where I spent most of my days
      Chillin’ out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool
      And all Firstin on these fools all over the Youtubes
      When a couple of guys who were up to no good
      Started makin’ trouble in my neighborhood
      I got in one little fight and The Great Firster got scared
      And said “You’re movin’ with your SP and Old Man in Glibs”

      • Brochettaward

        I wasn’t able to access the site for two hours after posting this First. It was so great, I feared that it broke the fabric of the site. Neigh, the universe. I thought I may be the sole survivor of The Great Firstening. I was, for a brief moment, so overcome with joy that I could hardly contain myself. Then I remembered that The Firstening can only come after The First That Will Change Everything, and as great as this was, it was not THE FIRST.

        And to think, this was only half of this First because the site won’t allow the rest to be posted.

      • MikeS

        Whatever happened to Jazzy Jeff?

      • Brochettaward

        Often times, I feel as though I’m casting pearls before swine. SWINE.

  29. The Hyperbole

    Thanks for the reminder Chafed, now that the weather has broke I need to get back on the speed bag, Maybe add a double-end bad this year, although I’m still not able to hop around enough to make it a true workout it’d still be better than nothing.

    • Chafed

      Something is always better than nothing. Do what you can.

    • westernsloper

      Let’s be honest. What ever you can muster is going to be close to nothing but at least it is not nothing.

    • Fourscore

      I trimmed my four little apple trees today. The 10 I moved out last summer have buds on them, I have about 30 started in the house but I’ll pick out about 10 and move them to the garden when they are a little bigger.

      • kinnath

        Good news.

        I haven’t been out in the orchard since I pruned in a couple of weeks ago. The apples start to bud out around the time the maples start to leaf out in the front yard. They haven’t leafed out yet. It has been cold and windy all April except for a couple of days.

      • pistoffnick

        Still maple sap season here up Norte. My neighbor, Buzzy, is still getting gallons in his back yard. He says the sugar content is lower but still worthwhile.

      • Fourscore

        Same here, hopefully the freeze will be over when the trees blossom. Neighbors still getting a little sap. It’s supposed to be below freezing for the next two nights.

      • pistoffnick

        Buzzy has an excellent beard (not as long as my luxurious chin whiskered goatee, but a full wondrous beard, which I cannot grow). He built his kids a most excellent zip line in his back yard. It is probably 150 yards tree to tree.

  30. Zwak,The Baddest Johnny on the Apple Cart

    Got my workouts in, got some extra stretching in today, and I was going to go for a bike ride today as the weather is so nice, but I cut the new underlayment for the bathroom floor I am going to put in this week, hopefully. I did this as it is going to rain tomorrow, and I am getting my old truck detailed in the AM, so I figured to get it done, and now I just need to pull out the old linoleum.

  31. one true athena

    Yesterday was our neighborhood garage sale so that was lifting some things but also sitting around all morning. Today I emptied, re-filled and planted my Greenstalk planter which didn’t take all day, but felt like exercise, especially since it was in the 80s today. No starter ground cherries this year at HD, which is sad since they were hugely successful for me last year. I’ll have to look around for them.

  32. Evil Scientist, Boo!

    I put together a Fractal primer of sorts, let’s see what TPTB think,

  33. R C Dean

    I’d love a heavy bag in our home gym, but I just can’t figure out where to hang it.

    I had a heavy bag hanging basically in my living room after my divorce. I had . . . frustrations . . ., and wound up actually breaking the sandbag in the core. I need another heavy bag. I need to look at the garage gym again and figure out where I can hang one.

    I like hitting things. Hard. Does that make me a bad person?

    • pistoffnick

      As long as the bags consent to being hit.

      • Fourscore

        He only hits them ’cause he loves them

    • Fourscore

      That’s what that 300 mag is for, so you can reach out and touch something, super hard.

  34. JaimeRoberto (shama/lama/ding dong)

    The road to Glacier Point in Yosemite is open only to bikes this week. I wanted to ride it today but my wife bailed on the plan due to the snow they got on Thursday. The reports I saw said there’s still about 5 inches of snow on the last mile of road, so maybe it was the right choice, but damn that would have been a nice ride. Maybe next year.

    Anyway, I still got about 70 miles in this week.

    • rhywun

      My mom had his debut album – I listened the fuck out of that. Just brilliant.

      Also a “Best Of” that ended before 1980 with your track.

  35. Ownbestenemy

    Just realized as I’m into my corny movie night..Hot Shots Part Deux predicted the Biden Presidency

  36. Mojeaux

    Whoever rec’d Severanceon AppleTV … this is a mind fuck.

    • Brochettaward

      Whoever? It was I, The First Of All Firsters.

      I’m at a loss for words at the disrespect.

      • Mojeaux

        Duly chastened.

      • Brochettaward

        I might have to ask you to start taking notes on my comments and Firsts. Every word is important. That goes for everybody.

      • slumbrew

        *gathers crayons and paper towels*

  37. Q Continuum

    GlibFit related (kind of): Pituitary MRI is ordered. Either they find something or not. If so, out it goes, if not *shrug*. Either way, somatostatin for the HGH and dopamine agonists for the prolactin. No reason to medicate the testosterone since it’s not causing sludgy blood and my prostate looks ok, so I guess that’s a good thing?

    I’m not really worried about this at all, I’ve been living with it for 20+ years, it’s more annoying than anything else.

    • Tundra

      Still, it would be nice to dial everything in to minimize disruption and the number of meds.

      Good luck, brother.

    • Chafed

      Q I genuinely don’t understand most of that. Clearly, something is a health concern. I hope you get the news you want.

      • Q Continuum

        Long story short: prognathic jaw since age 18, finally getting it fixed. Surgeon recommended I get blood tests to check for acromegaly. Blood tests came back with hormones out of whack; HGH and testosterone >2X maximum limit, elevated prolactin and insulin-like growth factor. Most likely culprit: benign pituitary adenoma. Snip it out, things go back to normal. If it’s not there: then the hormones are just out of whack for reasons unknown. I’ve had it for a long time, so it’s not going to kill me. Just want to get the numbers a bit more normal and get rid of the tumor (if it’s there).

      • slumbrew

        Good luck with that.

        HGH and testosterone >2X maximum limit

        Much is explained. 😉

      • Mojeaux

        ^^^

  38. Gustave Lytton

    Got the lawn mowed and the oil changed in the mower afterwards. New oil extractor works pretty well, even with the small pancake compressor.

    • Gender Traitor

      the small pancake compressor

      We have one of those too, but we call it a “waffle iron.”

      • UnCivilServant

        But, aren’t pancakes supposed to be fluffy? If you compress them, they won’t be fluffy anymore.

      • Gender Traitor

        So… is a waffle a compressed pancake, or is a pancake a deep dish waffle?

      • db

        And what’s the deal with crepes, anyway?

      • UnCivilServant

        Very crepey. I wouldn’t want to meet one in a dark alley.

      • Chafed

        Lol

  39. slumbrew

    You realize how crazy-long 3 minute or, dog forbid, 5 minute rounds are, if you every try bouncing around and throwing punches for that long.

    No room for a heavy-bag, sadly.

    Doing pretty well with the rowing – 30 mins, yesterday, 1+ hour today during the (somewhat boring) F1 race.

    Diet is just OK – so many delicious temptations; wife is off to SF for most of the week for work, so I’ll have to make an effort not to eat carbs for every meal (when gluten-free girl is gone, I tend to get in max pizza and pasta time).

    Saint Martin in just about 2 months, so that should be motivation not to be a total slob.

    • Chafed

      I don’t have a bag but I periodically shadow box. You are right. By the third round I start wondering how three minutes can be so long.

    • rhywun

      Heinous.

      • Festus

        Yup.

      • Sean

        You people have no groove.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Very high negatives: they need to find a Le Penesque person who isn’t Le Pen.
      See also: Trump.

  40. Sean

    Where is everyone? Wake the fuck up!

    • Festus

      We’re ignoring those terrible music links.

    • Gender Traitor

      I’ve been trying to comment for several minutes, but I keep getting errors on my laptop where it can’t load the page. And I just got one of those sinister pop-ups trying to get here on my phone. ?

      • UnCivilServant

        “This page has been found to contain wrongthink, and your attempt to access it has been noted by the Ministry of Love”?

      • Gender Traitor

        Weird thing is, I can get to other sites on my laptop, and I can get here on my phone, but I can’t get here on my laptop.

      • Gender Traitor

        Anyway, good morning, everyone!

      • UnCivilServant

        Have you cleared your browser cache?

        Have you tried turning it off and on again?

        Have you checked the thermostat?

        /in decreasing order of expected effectiveness.

      • Festus

        Jiggle the handle.

      • UnCivilServant

        My toilet has this strange secondary piston in the tank to do strange things with water pressure so that it can flush effectively with low volumes of water (damn government regulations) There is a small hose that delivers water into the piston that is only press-fit into the spot it’s supposed to be. Every so often it comes loose and pours that water into the main tank instead so the bowl doesn’t refil properly (don’t ask me, I don’t fully understand the way this thing is designed). So rather than re-seating the flapper valve, I have to open the tank and plug the tube back in. It only works loose once every few years.

      • Gender Traitor

        Had already tried restarting. So far, clearing browser cache hasn’t worked.

      • Ghostpatzer

        Check the thermostat?

      • Gender Traitor

        Happily, whatever the problem was with getting here via my laptop (maybe it was a toomah,) it seems (::knocks wood::) to be resolved.

        Just in time for me to get ready to leave for work. ?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ve been up and at work since 6am, slacker.

    • Sean

      *enthusiastic wave*

      Mornin!

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m already behind schedule. I’m supposed to be in the office today which means I need to be on the road already… but I don’t wanna…

        Anyway. I’m going to hit the road.

    • Ghostpatzer

      “Experts say the cases may be linked to a virus commonly associated with colds, but further research is ongoing.”

      Links to an article which bends over backwards to pin it on adenoviruses. You know what other virus is commonly associated with colds?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      People need to hang.

    • Fourscore

      Cancelling the garlic festival is in bad taste

      And a Good Morning to both Sean and UCS

      • Sean

        🙂

    • rhywun

      Three years and two months to flatten the curve.

      • Festus

        Eight years and nine months to flatten freedom. Easy-Peasy!

  41. Festus

    Mornin’ Friends. I’ve been acting like a little bitch lately. Things are not going well at all. I apologize to any of you that I’ve insulted. That ain’t me. Festus needs to calm his tits and realize that we all gotta go someday. Losing the ability to do my job was a nut-kick. Got offered easier sites but one had four stories of steps and the other one had three. At any rate I love the Glibs and pretty much everyone here.

    • Festus

      I am retired as of 05/31. “Welcome to Wal-Mart. I love you.”

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That was Costco scro.

      • Festus

        Whichever.

      • UnCivilServant

        Come on down south of the border, we’ll do what we can to cheer you up.

      • Festus

        What? Blanket toss me like Sancho Panza?

      • Ghostpatzer

        Aww. Love you too, Festy. C’mon down, south of the border is where it’s at (UCS is correct).

      • Festus

        My border crossing days are done. I won’t be doing much of anything for the next few years. Shit happens.

  42. Ghostpatzer

    Mornin’, merry reprobates. Wife and son both have nasty colds. I’m fine, so I get to do the cooking, cleaning and shopping. Hey, I’m the senior citizen here! *grumbles*.

  43. Tres Cool

    My ex-wife wasnt much of a wrestler, but you really shoulda seen her box!

    suh’ fam
    whats goody

    • Ghostpatzer

      *insert rim shot here*

      Yo, tall Covfefe!

      • Tres Cool

        Fun fact- ex Mrs Cool was in fact an amateur boxer as a hobby.
        English teacher by day, in the ring at night.

    • Festus

      I think we used to call those “pussy-farts”, “Queefs” if you will… “Frip Frap Frop Frip Frap Frop”

  44. Festus

    That Korean food looked delectable but he needed to freeze the rice first. Nobody likes mushy fried rice. Freezing it keeps it broken apart and it sucks the flavor in. That rice looked like mush. The peppers and such were just about perfect.

  45. UnCivilServant

    I was too quick to unplug everything to change cubes. my destination cube hasn’t been vacated yet.

    I got “upgraded” to a window seat. I still want a door, but almost no one gets a door in my agency.

    • Sean

      I hope you at least have a red Swingline stapler.

    • rhywun

      I got a window some years ago. Hell, my boss doesn’t even have a door. Instead he is behind my back.*

      I don’t want a door, myself.

      *All hypothetical since neither of us goes to the office.

    • Gender Traitor

      Windows are awesome! Now that I’ve had one, I don’t think I could go back to a windowless office. (I have to have an office rather than a cube because of my payroll duties.) I hope you have a halfway decent view from yours. What floor are you on?

      • Sean

        I have a window AND a door!

      • UnCivilServant

        I am on the 2nd floor with a view of someond else’s parking lot.

      • rhywun

        This is my view except from the 8th floor instead of the “boardwalk”. ?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Perfection