“It’s Pride Month!” Hunter sang as he sprang from behind a flag stand, aviators on, his rainbow jockstrap tight. An infinity scarf hung around his neck like an abused foreskin.
“Oh, fuck,” Finnegan said.
“PRIDE!” Hunter replied, thrusting his pelvis at her and making untz, untz, untz dance music noises around the government-issued crack pipe in his mouth.
“You are not gay, Dad!” Finnegan said. “Pride is not for you!”
“Pride is for everyone! Am I not dressed for Pride? I feel Pride,” he said, grabbing his crotch and going untz, untz, untz again.
“Get out of here!” Finnegan urgently whispered.
“No!” Hunter said, “I’m here to see BTS. I love K-Pop! I love fancy little Korean faggots!” He tittered and twirled around.
Finnegan heard screaming and fainting in the secretary pool.
“He’s coming!” she hissed at Hunter.
“Good! Dad’s always been proud of me,” Hunter said. “What do you think, dick in or dick out.”
“You will NOT expose your penis in the Oval Office!” Finnegan ordered. “Get under the desk! Get!”
She herded Hunter around the Resolute desk with little kicks of her kitten heels and pulled out the Presidential Waterproof Memory Foam Comfort and Rest Relaxer office chair and pointed at the footwell.
“You want me to get under the desk? Kinky.”
“Get under there! I can hear them coming.”
Hunter cocked his ear elaborately, as if listening for the boo-hoo-hooing of Whoville.
“It would be very bad for Grandpa if the press corps took a picture of you in here!”
“Alright, fine, we’ve got to keep the money train chugging along.
Hunter dropped to his knees and began crawling under his desk, a fresh bloom of chloracne across his asscheeks. He shuffled around and looked back out at her.
“I’m going to lick their little faggot shoes and there is nothing you can do about it!” he said, defiant.
“Fine, whatever.”
“You know why?” he asked.
“I don’t care.”
“Because I feel PRIDE!”
The Oval Office door opened and she jammed the chair back under the desk, muffling his faint cursing.
A press release later in the day stressed that Biden was not told that the gesture was Korean Sign Language for “two men scissoring.”
Genius.
Bold move to put the best line right up front, but the rest didn’t disappoint.
This guy gets it, Bravo, SF
I’m gonna be laughing about that one all afternoon.
“It’s Pride Month!” Hunter sang as he sprang from behind a flag stand, aviators on, his rainbow jockstrap tight. An infinity scarf hung around his neck like an abused foreskin.
Gold right out of the gate! And it just gets better from there.
Bravo!
Great again, SF.
I was hoping for a “fexting” explanation, but maybe Dr. Jill didn’t talk about that around your cameras.
This was better anyway.
I found a somewhat reasonable explanation of fexting.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/may/31/jill-biden-joe-first-lady-texting-harpers
Oh, “fight-texting”. Boring. I was hoping SF would give us something more… creative.
It’s like the big party at the miner’s camp…
There’s gonna be fighting, feasting, and fornicating! No need to dress up, because it’s just the two of us.
The make-up texting is so hot, tho. Dr. Jill Biden loves that mummy dick.
It’s not a Sugarfree post if there is no dry heaving involved.
Somehow he manages to achieve just the right balance of laughing and dry heaving every time. It is a gift.
Not everyone has that same balance, Ralph is always lurking when SF is writing
Aside from the avatars, I’m also not seeing new comments highlighted in blue.
Some user-convenience features may take a while to return.
I demand a refund!
You can use a pen. Just mark them on your screen.
Turned back on the Avatars and the new comments. I’ll monitor the site tomorrow and see if performance is affected before I turn any other features back on.
Perfect
Wait, what?
Yeah, is this real? All my nieces are going to vote for Biden now.
This. Is that real?
And why would two men scissor? Sounds like it it would hurt their balls.
It would, for real men. IYKWIM.
Given there are guys into CBT (warning: searching for this is not for the squemish) I can see some guys getting off on that.
So its not cognitive behavioral therapy ?
Not Computer Based Training either.
Appreciate the search warning.
My money is on a translation error. The translator wrote “scissoring” where they should have written “frotting”.
I keep forgetting that Finnegan is Hunter’s daughter. That poor kid.
Great as always SF!
I’m curious about my avatar…..
Avatar check.
Worth the wait. Absolutely worth the wait. Brilliant SF; every single word is perfection.
A big thank you for all the hard work by the Glibs IT team! ?? If I had missed this today…well…maybe it would have been better to miss this. ????
I had to look up what BTS was. I learned there is a BTS Army and they are going after Tucker Carlson because he said mean things about them going to the White House. So long, Tucker. I sure hope they don’t go after SugarFree next!
BTS Army is no match for the KISS ARMY!
?????
MikeS outs himself as a Juggalo.
L. O. L.
Down with the Clown!
When I see that, all I can think of is the BTK Killer.
He probably sings better.
But his choreography was shit.
My house in Wichita was only a few blocks from the house where BTK killed his first…
But that was just a coincidence… right?
*crickets*
My work here is done
Bind Torture Sing
WTF if BTS? “Bind, Torture, Suckle?”
“Don’t mind me, I’m just gonna suck on your toes for a minute and then I’ll untie you and let you go”
“PRIDE!” Hunter replied, thrusting his pelvis at her and making untz, untz, untz dance music noises around the government-issued crack pipe in his mouth.
Non-fiction.
Thanks, SF! This was a fun one!
I’m surprised how little I had to read while in between actions during my workday while the site was down.
I thought it was just me, that’s usually the problem
untz, untz, untz dance music
Nice, NA.
Related: Text messages also show Hunter apparently sent a link to a Pornhub page to a phone number he had saved in his contacts book as ‘Dad’ on October 22, 2018
We have the Caligula family running the country.
Jesus dude, use private tabs….
Hunter dropped to his knees and began crawling under his desk, a fresh bloom of chloracne across his asscheeks
Just in time for lunch. I have no need for GlibFit (apologies to Chafed), this here is a terrific weight loss program.
And thanks to the site admins for restoring the site.
It’s an inexcusable lapse of journalism that they didn’t at least follow and report on the link.
I’m just glad we have a dignified family in the office again.
At least the Daily Mail covers Hunter’s bullshit.
“Dad–dad-Daddy-O”
SF-sf-SugarFree-O
The foreskin line wasn’t nearly as dry-heave inducing as a fresh bloom of chloracne across his asscheeks.
Masterful, simply masterful.
It’s a natural reaction to dioxin-tainted hookers and butt plugs.
*hurk*
Yeah, I learned a new word there.
Sugarfree should do a ‘word a day’ calendar.
No, he should not.
Sugarfree should do a ‘word a day’ calendar.
Or a better version of lewdle. SugarFreedle?
The only way to win is not to play?
Quesyl
Tomorrow’s should be pugotrypophobia or coulronakusophobia.
You’re a sick bastard.
Does that make it an illegitimate illness?
My favorite line.
Chloracne. ?
I am suitably disturbed.
Yet another thing I wish I hadn’t looked up. ?
The things we learn… although dioxins would explain why that family of waterheads is so consistently retarded.
Seems to realistic to be satire.
A press release later in the day stressed that Biden was not told that the gesture was Korean Sign Language for “two men scissoring.”
Is this real?
Going OT: I’ve been thinking of rehashing my debt and growth post now that it has been a few years. That or a post on the anti federalist papers, specifically about representative democracy. Thoughts?
*thinks about it
Yes.
I kind of figured that would be the response. Really no preference between the two?
The Anti-Federalist Papers write up would be very interesting to me. I started reading them years ago, but never finished. Your write-up may be the closest I ever come.
I would be focusing on papers by ‘Brutus’ and representation. I don’t think I could conceivably give a full overview of all the papers.
If you quit your job I bet you’d have time to cover them all.
OK, if you want to focus on a few, I guess I could be happy with that.
Anti-Federalist papers would be my vote too.
Either one. We’re always glad to have high quality content.
Well, you can get content at least. Maybe. Will take me a few weeks because I’ll be moving this weekend.
Both.
An awful lot of BTS, K-Pop talk runnin’ round recently…
Red Velvet: Dumb Dumb Dumb
Twice: Me Likey
Those are the only two K-Pop songs that I actually like. Yes. They are silly, but well-made pop songs. I am also in love with several of the ladies performing.
I have many relationships.
PRIDE!!!
Throughout June, the USMC takes #Pride in recognizing and honoring the contributions of our LGBTQ service members. We remain committed to fostering an environment free from discrimination, and defend the values of treating all equally, with dignity and respect.
China is going to eat our lunch.
Yeah…but they’ll just be hungry again a half hour later.
My response on Twitter:
“Why are the crayons in brass casings? Doesn’t that make them harder to eat?”
Not to be outdone, Space Force weighs in.
Ffs…
I expected a different turn once Hunter got under the desk. I thought Kamala would sneak in and sit in the Presidential chair with hilarity ensuing.
He could have just as easily run into Kamala while he was down there.
“Pride is for everyone! Am I not dressed for Pride? I feel Pride,” he said, grabbing his crotch and going untz, untz, untz again.
I can see Hunter dabbling in men.
Presidential Waterproof Memory Foam Comfort and Rest Relaxer office chair
I laughed.
I can see Hunter dabbling in men.
His sugar-bro?
You can change your profile picture on Gravatar.
I don’t even know what a Quordle is and you want to throw Gravitar at me?
Just duck.
Go to your profile, there is a link.
WordPress 6.0 is available! Please notify the site administrator.
✅
Oh, we are all too aware of that.
It is a great old video game. A not pleasing web site. If I did it, you can also. I will say it was irritating.
Hunter cocked his ear elaborately, as if listening for the boo-hoo-hooing of Whoville.
Something something indelible on the hippocrampus.
That was my favorite line. I suspect that makes me a bit of an outlier.
Being here already made you one of those.
Did someone say Quordle?
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Quordle?
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Terrible, but at least managed to avoid chumping:
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PRIDE!
During Pride Month, we honor the resilience of LGBTQI+ people who are fighting to live authentically and freely. We reaffirm that LGBTQI+ rights are human rights. And we recommit to delivering protections, safety, and equality so everyone can realize the full promise of America.
What’s the ‘I’? I thought ‘+’ covered all the other shit.
Intersex. Which is neither a sexual orientation or a sexual identity.
Once they added the fourth letter the acronym ceased to represent any sort of group and just became a grab bag of “not normal”.
Just checking…other people having trouble with new comments not loading on their own? Nothing showing as “new” when reloading page too?
I’m getting the nothing showing as new’ issue.
Same for me.
From upthread:
We are experiencing some pretty severe issues with the site. WedDom is going to fill us all in after she researches it.
Yes, but it is here. And it will get me through the day.
Seconded.
I have faith in WedDom’s abilities.
Interesting side effect of what is going on: comments post much, much faster.
If WebDom’s going at it with the hosting support nerds, here’s hoping the ‘research’ involves a pack of zip ties and a cigar torch…
Extensions (Monocle, etc) will not be functional for a bit yet.
I don’t normally write online reviews about businesses, but a wrecking yard pissed me off enough for me to give them one star on google maps.
You don’t hang up on customers before they’re done inquiring about product.
Heaven save me from legalese.
Eh, its a living.
Praying for a Force Majeure?
Here’s one.
Might go well with a round yellow 230 pill.
The Biden Administration has the lowest poll numbers ever recorded, but that hasn’t stopped them from trying to drive them even lower.
The Biden Department of Justice Has Filed an Appeal to Restore Mask Mandates for Planes
Of course they did.
To prevent the spread of COVID-19, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) issued an order
*checks Constitution for the clause which empowers CDC to create laws*
Oh, there it is. The FYTW clause. Silly me.
Well, as long as they’re wasting time on this penny ante bullshit, they aren’t doing something more egregious.
Penny ante bullshit is the minors where they weed out the truly skilled for egregious bullshit
The Biden Administration has the lowest poll numbers ever recorded, but that hasn’t stopped them from trying to drive them even lower.
He’s got a lock on Team Karen, though.
Hunter, you are a real piece of work.
The Percocet is a nice touch.
*immediately deletes browser history*
“What did I just take?”
That was exactly my thought!
Or “What did I just pay for?”
“I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said ‘I Drank What???'”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcxbdZ1uGrs
I noticed that as well. Percocet sucks man, get some Xanax.
“Hell yes, we are going to take your AR-15, your AK-47…”
“And I just took the position that may not be politically popular or maybe too honest that only should no one be able to purchase an AR-15 or an AK-47, because they’re designed to kill humans and that high-impact, high-velocity round will just tear up everything inside you. You’ll bleed out before we can get you back to life,” Beto said on May 21 at a town hall with veterans.
“But I don’t think that the people who have them right now in civilian use should be able to keep them,” he added.
Should be a winning stance in Texas.
I feel like we’re not reading this right. It’s a threat, and a warning, if you limit the context sufficiently.
But my walnut stock varmint rifle is just fine.
It won’t be while under the ever-expanding definition of “assault weapon”.
Nope, that there is a sniper rifle.
Yes, and?
You might want to ponder that fact.
So, I just have to get a gun that uses the same cartridge with a wood stock? Maybe a Ruger? Because he only grabs the scary looking guns he can identify,
Why are they so preoccupied with black guns?
Because only black guns matter.
lol
Ruger Mini-14 chambered in 5.56 NATO.
For the past 70 years, no one has survived a GSW caused by an intermediate caliber.
I hope the veterans yelled bullshit and called him a fucking liar, but they probably have better manners if it’s not starve managed props.
And what’s this “we” crap?
This is interesting:
Dead Man’s Hand
When the Legend becomes Fact, print the Legend
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZgzXbPfpko
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/yellowstone-visitor-dies-bison-gores-tosses-10-feet-rcna31371
You just know she was going in for a selfie.
It happens all the time. When we were there, I saw one attack a car.
They are pretty badass animals.
I’ll admit it: While in my car driving through Theodore Roosevelt National Park, I got a bit close to some bison. However, I was keeping an eye on them and I had an escape route where I could punch the gas and go.
Otherwise, I kept my distance.
I remember visiting Yellowstone during the bisontennial.
Here comes a pun stampede!
The usual herd of pungulates.
OK, this is pretty good!
*golf clap*
Unity and healing, ch 3,509
The finger pointing will only grow more intense as the midterm elections get closer, financial markets continue to gyrate on every bit of news on inflation and consumers continue to spend down their Covid-era savings to keep up with higher prices.
And some top executives, especially in the banking sector, are now complaining that while Biden pays lip service to caring about their views on how to fix things, he doesn’t actually listen to them or solicit their input. The finance industry is especially alarmed at the moment given the big losses in stocks and the impact of changing interest rates on their businesses.
“They said everything was going to be different under Biden and they would be more engaged with us, and they weren’t,” said the CEO of one of the country’s largest banks. “Now they are going to get slaughtered in the midterms. And they deserve to get slaughtered because they haven’t really accomplished anything except maybe increasing inflation.” This CEO, like nine other executives and business group officials interviewed for this story, spoke on condition they not be named in order to not anger the White House.
At least that asshole Trump is gone.
“They said everything was going to be different under Biden and they would be more engaged with us, and they weren’t,”
IOW: When I buy a politician I expect them to stay bought.
Biden doesn’t remember getting the 10%. It’s not his fault.
You’re ruining our grift dude!
I imagine they’re bitching right now because the Fed is showing a very small spine and calling for a tapering in the money supply, even if it is far too little, too late.
They are trying to crash the system. It’s part of the plan.
What the hell did these morons think was going to happen?
Bailouts, early and often
Same thing the health insurers did with Obamacare – that they could shape it to their advantage and prevent new entrants.
Turns of phrase that bother me.
https://www.theblaze.com/news/operation-lost-souls-trafficking
I supposes the children are a “resource” if they are being trafficked… ///WordChoice
Our most precious source of adrenochrome.
Nope. Not looking that up.
Labor enacted…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAeAKitFdJo
Corporate America, especially Wall Street, remains a juicy target for Democrats given the progressive trend in the party and dim public views on things like massive CEO pay packages and stock buy-back programs. So it’s unlikely Biden is eager to be too close to too many titans of industry, something that some of those titans realize.
“I mean what do they expect, this is a Democratic administration. And one that maybe doesn’t want to be that close to corporate America given the politics,” said a former C-Suite executive at a giant Wall Street bank. “If you can fault them it’s for not having more people around who have actually been in the business world for more than five seconds.”
Public service is where it’s at, man. Public service is noble and pure, not like evil free market capitalism. This administration will not tolerate moneygrubbers and profiteers.
“dim public views on things like massive CEO pay packages and stock buy-back programs”
Most of the public probably has no idea what a stock buy-back program is or why it could be considered bad.
Dividends are old and busted. Borrowing money to buy back your stock, driving up the price and earning yourself some sweet bonuses is where it’s at.
At least you are able to explain why it can be scammy, but it’s up to the board and the shareholders to keep it from happening, if they want to.
Boards are generally useless, or sometimes worse than useless (see Twitter).
And individual shareholders who actually know and care are few and far between.
They think it’s bad because that money belongs to everybody, not the shareholders. See, when a company has “obscene” profit (ie., any profit), that money should either be given to the government, or returned to consumers in the form of lower prices. Instead these companies use their obscene profits to buyback shares, which only benefits the owners of the company. This is OBVIOUSLY a terrible thing to do!
You might think that’s an exaggeration, but no. It’s the exact argument I see made all of the time (minus the sarcasm of course).
Have they noticed what their favorite sports figures and movie stars are pulling in?
Robot artists are coming:
https://astralcodexten.substack.com/p/a-guide-to-asking-robots-to-design?s=r
Good song, but man the lead sing of Bowling for Soup has gotten old and fat.
Avatar check…
Heh.
4 x
9 x
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Reliving the ’70s
A Memorial Day weekend shooting on a Las Vegas-area freeway was an apparent ambush by Hells Angels members on rival Vagos biker gang members returning from a veterans cemetery ride, according to a police report made public Tuesday.
Richard John Devries, who police identified as the Las Vegas Hells Angels chapter president, and club recruits Russell Smith and Stephen Alo were arrested late Sunday, several hours after the shooting on U.S. 95, according to Henderson police reports.
At least six of the seven people taken to hospitals with wounds or injuries following the midday Sunday gunfire were Vagos members or affiliates, the report said. They were riding motorcycles back to Las Vegas after stops at Hoover Dam and the Southern Nevada Veterans Memorial Cemetery in Boulder City.
Open warfare between the Hell’s Angels and cheap imitators is what we need.
Dividends are old and busted. Borrowing money to buy back your stock, driving up the price and earning yourself some sweet bonuses is where it’s at.
Courtesy of interest free loans from the Federal Reserve Bank.
We’re gonna stimulate the economy ’til it blows its load.
Borrowing money to buy back your stock, driving up the price
I don’t know why any board tolerates this. You have now added debt that generates no return. You should borrow only to invest the loan proceeds in something that will make you more than the carrying cost of the loan. Buying your own stock is not investing in something that will make you money; instead, you are spreading less operating income over fewer shares of stock.
Why less operating income? Because you have to make the loan payments, that’s why. And now that you’ve leveraged your balance sheet, your cost of capital will go up and your ability to tolerate a downturn will go down.
Not to get all technical with you, but there is a theoretical ideal capital structure in theory. Generally equity capital is more expensive than debt capital. However as the cost of debt and bankruptcy risk increases you essentially fill in with equity.
https://corporatefinanceinstitute.com/resources/knowledge/finance/cost-of-capital/
If you use public equity financing investors have multiple choices where to put that $1. So hypothetically on a random public company most managers want a long term average somewhere in the low double digits. OTH, you can usually debt finance lower than that.
“You will NOT expose your penis in the Oval Office!” Finnegan ordered.
Indeed, it would be wildly inappropriate. Who does he think he is, a Clinton?
I don’t think even Bill whipped it out in front of Chelsea.
Have you seen those teeth??
“I’m getting my teeth ready for your blowjob. How much teeth do you want?”
Fuck off, you totalitarian garden gnome.
“When do we phase out the term booster and transition to a yearly shot, much like a flu. Is that a possibility or a reality?” Pix11 reporter Dan Mannarino asked Fauci.
“We should really be, and ultimately be talking more about keeping your vaccinations up to date,” Fauci said. “That might merge into a yearly boost….it’s entirely conceivable…We know that immunity wanes over time. We know that you need to be boosted to be protected.”
Fauci continued, “So depending upon what this virus does, there is certainly a reasonably good chance that we will have the same sort of situation that we have with influenza, where every year you have to re-boost people to keep that protection up.”
1) Interesting phrase. Ponder that for a moment.
2) Indeed, because the gene
vaccinegene therapy is destroying your immune system.Funny how they knew during the initial rollout that the vax declined in effectiveness, but didn’t mention it. Odd, that they didn’t tell people getting the first series that they would need to be re-vaxxed over and over. Especially odd that they cut off the clinical trials just as vax effectiveness was dropping below the threshold for approval.
When the Burning Times come, we will be spoiled for choice.
He’s such a bald-faced liar.
The reason the flu shot is annual is that the dominant strain(s) of flu vary from season to season. And it’s NOT an mRNA vaccine that turns cells into little spike protein factories.
NY to pass ban on body armor (Hi John!), gotta be 21 to get a 10/22,, and microstamping. Just because it didn’t work in CA doesn’t mean NY shouldn’t oppress it’s citizens!
Roughly translated: I don’t give a shit if its unconstitutional.
That’s an exact translation.
And that’s precisely why they do it. They see it as having zero consequences. It’s just losing a court case and the tax payers will cover all the legal bills. There’s no criminal charges for blatantly and flagrantly breaking the law and no personal financial consequences. Why wouldn’t you be a totalitarian maniac? There’s no downside.
And there’s always a chance the crooked courts will rule in its favor anyway.
Yesterday the area around my office building smelled strongly of skunk. Unfortunately, it permeated into my office as well. Was not pleasant working in there for hours. I’m the only one with an office on the outside wall; I don’t know if I have leaky windows or what.
Turns out, according to my boss, there’s a cannabis processing plant nearby.
Great. I’m going to have to see if Facilities can weather seal my windows. Otherwise any visitors to my office will get the wrong idea!!
That’s hilarious. Play reggae music at your desk.
I could get the beaded braids like Pam Poovey.
When legal marijuana passed here in Colorado, it took me an embarrassingly long time to walk in a park and come to the realization: “What a minute, those aren’t skunks I’ve been smelling.”
Nothing’s changed here. People already smoked dope everywhere in public.
There’s always a price for freedom.
NEW PRiDE FLAG!
https://dublinpride.ie/pride-2022/
It’s totally gay to be Ukrainian!
They should try being a flamer in Kiev and see how that goes for them.
Pride is now trans…national?
OFFS
Next step – May 26th – shutting the country down.
Did I miss it? How did they do? I guess they didn’t succeed.
It’s almost like the topic in question is incidental.
“At noon: Leave work! Leave school! Converge in the streets! No business-as-usual!”
Looking forward to fiery but mostly peaceful protests.
Needz moar helicopters.
Except cis, straight, white males of course.
Pride Month is about celebrating the right of every American to be proud, love openly, and live authentically.
Happy Pride!
How are them energy prices doin’?
Pride. This month. Next month. Always. #Pride2022
I don’t think cis-het-females get much love during Pride either.
Holy hell. The level of stupid on display in the rest of that first thread. They must be taking their blue pills rectally.
*rim
jobshot*Man, I haven’t been able to get in to the site in a few days!
Whew! Lawdy.
Anyway, this was wonderful. It’s just barely satire at this point. Barely.
I’m reaching my Babylon Bee stage of life: “well, all of this stupid at least provides endless opportunities for mocking these idiots.”
Quordle was “par” from their site (in 8), but feels low.
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Gotta run, bunch of writing to do.
Check on case 4:22-cv-438 in E.D. TX. Complaint is on PACER. Updates on my blog. Some media may be coming out soon.
Well, since the Bee used the same photo as SF, I think this counts as relevant.
the Bangkok Boys!
I’m sure Hunter has met a few of them at some point.
Sad news – the spectacle is over. Jury rules for Depp.
But the rhEEEEEEEing is just beginning!
Sounds like the ACLU should also be on the hook. They wrote the defamatory op-ed, after all. And what about the Post? They published it.
I doubt there’s a case against either of them, as long as they acted in good faith, and it would be nearly impossible to prove otherwise.
They should all stop kidding themselves, the only thing to do is nuke it from orbit.
nb: each here is a link to a different DOJ OIG report.