A Glibertarians Exclusive – Legionnaire, Part VI
Marseilles, France – 1911
Caleb Pettigrew drained another glass of wine. He looked up; the afternoon sun was moving along, behind the row of buildings. He looked over at Philip McGraw. The boy hadn’t been trying to keep up with Caleb’s drinking, but the South Carolinian, after years of practice, had a high tolerance for red wine.
The old soldier went on: “Things were kind of quiet for a while after that. Oh, there was a big old scrap down in southern Algeria, the Battle of Chott Tigri, they called it. I got promoted again after that, and then again in 1880, mostly just because I hung around a long time. My buddy Charlie, he made Sergant, and I ended up as Sergant-Major. We just kind of kept on soldiering together – buddies, you know? Guys that have ended up facing death together, they end up like brothers, only maybe more so.”
“That’s what my Grandpaw used to say. He stayed pretty tight with his friends from Stuart’s cavalry, letters, reunions, and such, until the day he passed on.”
“That’s just it. Anyway, other than that one scrap, we mostly just did training, field problems, saying goodbye to old guys getting out, breaking in the new kids coming in. Then, in 1883, boy, did the shit hit the fan. We ended up going half-way around the world, a place called Indochina. And was that ever a mess!”
***
Indochina, November 1883
“Can you imagine, the nerve of that General de Négrier? ‘You, Legionnaires, you are soldiers in order to die, and I’m sending you to where one dies!’ No shit, am I right? This is where he sent us to die.”
Sergant-Major Caleb Pettigrew – Tom Jackson to the Legion, but after all these years, he still used his given name in the privacy of his own head – scowled at the Canadian upstart who had joined the Legion at Sidi Bel Abbès the year before. Paul Paige, the boy’s name was, and the one martial skill he picked up quickly was complaining.
“You would do well to keep quiet,” Sergant Charles Sebastian Diego y Sanchez admonished the lad. “The trees, they have ears. And those Black Flag cabrons, they have been defeated at Palan, but many of them are still in the field.”
The legionnaires, sent out in a patrol ten men strong, was moving quietly down a jungle path, their Gras Modèle 1874 rifles held at the ready. The new rifle was pretty much the old Chassepot modified to take a metallic cartridge, but it was far more reliable in the dank conditions of Indochina, which made the men of the Legion fond of the new arm.
“There are too many reports of enemy forces and bandits out here,” Pettigrew whispered harshly. “And Charlie’s right; some of those bandits are what’s left of the Black Flag Army. We hold our base at Hải Dương, but we don’t know what’s going on out here in these forests, so somebody has to go see. That somebody is us. So shut up and keep your eyes open.”
“Yes, Sergant-Major,” the young Canadian gritted out. He clearly wasn’t happy.
The patrol pushed on down a narrow jungle trail.
I don’t like this, Caleb thought. The kid has a point. He’s a complaining little asshole, but he has a point. Can’t move into the jungle, or we’d spend all day hacking at the undergrowth to go a hundred yards. And this damn trail – it’s just made for an ambush. And they sent just ten of us out here?
They moved in loose order, a couple of meters between each man, close enough to support each other, far enough away so as to make it difficult to hit the entire column with a volley. But at a bend in the trail, the column closed up, just enough…
Caleb had set a Portuguese Caporal at the head of the column, a skinny, swarthy little man Caleb thought of as ‘that sneaky little dago.’ The man proved to not be sneaky enough for the jungle. A musket boomed from a ridge where the trail bent to the left, and the man on point went down hard.
“To the front,” Caleb shouted, but the warning was late; a volley raked the column from the front, and another from the right. The unseen enemy was in an ‘L’ formation, a textbook-perfect ambush.
But the enemy was armed only with muzzle-loading muskets. They charged, screeching like animals. The legionnaires fought as only they could, but there were too many of the Black Flag rebels. Caleb fired a shot into a little man in ragged clothes that charged in from the right, then swung his bayonet to impale another. The line came apart. Another boom came from the right as one of the rebels managed to reload. Caleb saw his friend Charlie go down with a squawk of pain.
Then, there was an explosion of light and pain, and he knew nothing more.
Caleb came to slowly. He tried to move, then realized his hands and feet were bound. He opened his eyes and could see only a short span of dirt and trampled grass. Nearby, he heard incomprehensible talk and guttural laughter. He bent an elbow and managed to turn face up.
“Hola, amigo,” he heard Charlie’s voice. “I am glad to see you are still with the living.”
“Only just,” Caleb replied. His head pounded as though a ten-inch cannon shell has struck it. “What’s going on?”
“They carried us here,” Charlie replied. “That is, you and I. We would seem to be the only survivors. We are in a small village on a hill, maybe ten kilometers from where they struck us.”
“Why did they take us prisoner? The Black Flag usually doesn’t bother.”
“I am not sure these are Black Flag, my friend. They are bandits, yes; if you turn, you will see that they throw dice to see who gets our rifles and gear.”
Caleb took a brief self-inventory. “Who got me? Don’t feel like I was shot.”
“I think one of them struck you with the butt of the musket. I am shot in the leg. They bandaged me, crudely. I was awake when they carried us here. I do now know what they intend to do.”
“I’m afraid I have a pretty good idea.”
The bandits were gathered around a small fire in the center of the village, divvying up the clothing, weapons, and gear of the legionnaires. Hearing the murmured conversation of the survivors, one of them got up, walked over to where Caleb and Charlie lay bound on the ground, and grinned at them.
“I am Huy Phan,” he said, in passable French. “I lead the Golden Hand.” He waved at the ragged band of thugs, as though they were a respectable force. “We were with Lưu Vĩnh Phúc’s Black Flag Army, until he allowed himself to be pushed out of Upper Tonkin. We are of Tonkin, not from China, as are the Black Flag Army, so we stay here, we fight the foreign devil invaders. You are the French Army, are you not? Tell me your names and your battalion.”
“Go fuck yourself,” Caleb said companionably.
The Tonkin laughed. He hauled off and kicked Caleb in the ribs, then squatted beside him and pulled out a small, wicked-looking little knife. “You will tell me,” he said. “You will tell me everything about your battalion, how many men, where they are. You will tell me all this and I will kill you quickly. If you do not, I will give you to my men. Then your death will not be quick.”
“Kiss my ass.”
Beside Caleb, Charlie let loose a torrent of Spanish; his long association with the Spaniard allowed Caleb to understand that the Sergant was discussing Huy Phan’s ancestry, his sexual habits, and his relationship with his mother, in addition to offering up several suggestions that were anatomically impossible. Caleb grinned.
“You should reconsider,” the Tonkin bandit said. “If you think my offer to give you to my men is an unpleasant one, you should know there are worse things that could happen to you. I could also give you to our women. It is said that the Tonkin women have ways to make a man die a hundred deaths. It has been known to take four, five days. You do not want that to happen, my friends.”
“I don’t know what you think you can do, even if we did tell you. The entire French Army is coming this way. We aren’t looking for little groups of bandits. We’re looking for the Black Flag Army. We’re looking to move north. You think we’d bother with a you? We won’t even notice you unless you make us. And that’s what you’re doing right now.”
“So, then, there is no reason for you not to give me the information.”
Caleb scowled. Then he smiled. As the Tonkin man stared, eyes wide, Caleb began to sing:
We are a band of brothers and native to the soil, fighting for the property we gained by honest toil.
And when our rights were threatened, the cry rose near and far, hurrah for the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star.
Hurrah! Hurrah!
For Southern rights, hurrah!
Hurrah for the Bonnie Blue Flag that bears a single star.
Huy Phan straightened up. He laughed. Then he pulled an ancient muzzle-loading pistol from under his baggy tunic, aimed, and shot Charlie between the eyes.
***
Note: There are several versions of the song that inspired this story.
The lyrics here are from this version.
In a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes
I bargained for salvation, they gave me a lethal dose
I offered up my innocence, got repaid with scorn
“Come in”, She said, “I’ll give you shelter from the storm”
“Guys that have ended up facing death together, they end up like brothers, only maybe more so.”
Indochina has a way like that…
Thanks Animal.
Caleb’s band now has been cut in half.
Rebel knows rebel?
Part VI? I got some catching up to do.
When you’ve lost Salon
Nancy Pelosi’s reckless trip to Taiwan: A decision that could get us all killed
The arrogance of power is especially ominous and despicable when a government leader risks huge numbers of lives in order to make a provocative move on the world’s geopolitical chessboard. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s plan to visit Taiwan is in that category. Thanks to her, the chances of a military confrontation between China and the United States have spiked upward.
She needs to shore up her foreign policy experience before she runs for president.
She should begin by opening relations with the Sentinelese.
Good lord, she’s older than Biden.
The Bad: China and the U.S. could end up in a shooting war, conventional or otherwise.
The Good: we might finally be rid of that harridan Pelosi.
Worth it?
Have they lost Salon? Or is Salon miffed that she’s antagonizing China and China represents what is good in Salon’s eyes? Is Salon miffed that we antagonize Russia – and engage in what could arguably be classed as acts of war in that theater, regardless of ones stance on Ukraine v Russia – which could just as plausibly ‘get us all killed’? I’m not going to comment on whether it’s a good idea to shore up Pelosi’s overseas money laundering opera… I mean for a US official to visit Taiwan or not, but I’m suspicious of the idea that Salon’s objection is rooted in worry about what could or could not ‘get us all killed’.
It might just be political “reverse psychology:” have Pelosi recognize Taiwan so it is seen as a Democrat policy. They know they’re going to get shellacked in November, so they need the Republicans to do their work for them. Once Pelosi is seen as a Taiwan booster, Republicans will be climbing over each other to sell Taiwan down the road.
Right?
Add far as I’m aware, Russia’s nuclear arsenal is much more formidable in contrast in China’s (though who knows, either could be shit).
Relatedly, China can go fuck itself, trying to tell Americans what that can and cannot do.
Biden isn’t in charge of Jack shit. That was abundantly clear when Obama visited the White House and completely snubbed Biden.
Ha ha hah! Imagine if a republican president were to “put his presidential foot down” and demand that a senior member of the House do or not do something.
“KONSTITUTIANAL CRISIS!!!!”
I can’t argue with this. What is it about this specific visit that has the ChiComs all worked up?
The US looks particularly vulnerabile to bullying now.
They especially dislike Pelosi. She pulled a stunt some decades ago by pulling out a pro-democracy banner at Tiananmen Square. A very brave act for a Chinese dissident. An asinine provocation by an invited politician protected by diplomatic immunity.
China may also be slowly gearing up for a move on Taiwan. Military overflights have increased since last December to all time highs.
They may be just looking for an excuse at this point. “You keep provoking us, we had no choice but to invade.”
Chinese men are pretty sexist too; might add a little to the already toxic mix.
Pelosi’s driver/gofer was a Chinese spy and kicked out of the U.S. a few years ago.
I thought that was Feinstein.
At least we haven’t heard about either of them having a honeypot spy in their office, unlike Adam Schiff. (Or was that Swalwell?)
Swalwell
💗
Fang Fang
She has no government function that involves conducting foreign policy. She wants to go grease palms in Taiwan, she can fly commercial.
Ensuring those plays on Nvidia and the CHIPS act pay out properly takes effort.
She never talked to her husband about that!
* pushes down microphone, walks away *
This makes me laugh every time I watch it:
https://twitter.com/TimRunsHisMouth/status/1550155314875564038
Too bad. I liked Charlie. Can’t wait to see how Caleb gets out of this fix. Loving this series, Animal!
Nazi collaborator explains why he knows what’s best for American justice.
Except for the high crime rates, the odd recall vote, and people moving out of those areas in droves, it’s been a smashing success!
Not to mention the depressed property values…
…now, you might be getting somewhere…
Delta is for Charlie and Charlie is for Cain.
The CCB alphabet predates the NATO alphabet. What four letters are the same in both?
Charlie, hotel, whisky?
Thorn, theta, tiwaz, and umm… I can’t remember the forth.
Are you thinking of Wynn, Eth, Thorn, and Ash?
Neg, I’m giving the althabet a lithp.
Not the yogh?
forgot about yogh
Woah.
Mike and some unimportant letters.
Charlie, Mike, Victor, and Xray
“creech on August 1, 2022 at 10:09 am
Is STEVE SMITH visiting South Africa or does he have a buddy there?”
MYNWERKER SMITH MAKE BIG SHAFT.
DRILL UNTIL HE FIND GOLD.
Textbook ambush
https://youtu.be/OrZB5n0tNAI
Who sat as a model for the $20 bill?
Roger Daltry?
Rambo
Orville Redenbacher?
Although I can see Daltry, now that Animal mentions it.
Still needs a cape.
She put a Doobie Brothers tape on (La la la la la-ahh la)
I had a Roger Daltrey cape on (A Roger Daltrey cape on)
There was a bed I dumped her shape on
Can’t remember what became of me
Carolina hard-core ecstasy
She put a Doobie Brothers tape on (La la la la la-ahh la)
Did she come from somewhere back in your long ago too?
The White House?
Winston’s Mother?
Wait, that’s not what she did for the twenty bucks.
Animal,
Keep them coming. This is a great series.
Had a bit of a scare at the gym today. First high intensity workout in a month (per my notes). I’ve done some cardio and some minor workouts but I’ve been on travel so much the past month, most places I was at weren’t fully equipped.
Felt a little out of breath talking to someone partway through my workout – don’t normally talk at all. About 80% of the way in – finished my 3rd set of leg press (legs above head) and stood up and all of a sudden I was really out of it. Really light-headed, woozy, felt like I was going to puke. Lasted about 15 minutes. Alternated walking around and sitting down trying to breathe. I’ve had uncomfortable spells at the end of my workouts every now and again, but this was definitely the worst one I can recall. Really light headed, thought I might pass out. After about 10 min, all my limbs started tingling for about 5 minutes straight.
Recovered at the end, did my cool down and made it home – but that was a little scary – even if there were other folks in the gym. Had trouble even feeling a pulse until I got home ;p… Don’t think it was dehydration or anything like that – might just have been trying too much too fast…I’ve had a lot of other gaps in my workouts the last few months, but never for a full month….may take up my doctors recommendation for a cardiologist referral since I’m still trying to get a better handle on what my mom’s side of the family is “blessed” with in terms of heart issues.
(getting home, drank water, my shake, more water and some gatorade with lunch).
The manly thing to do is just ignore it.
The wise thing? Get some tests done via your doctor.
Did you lock your knees? A few months ago my wife was doing deadlifts, alone in the gym, and she was recording it. She did a lift, celebrated with a whoop, and promptly passed out. It only lasted a few seconds. But we found out that will happen if you lock out your knees, and then you release the weight. This is apparently a problem in the military, when people are standing at attention for long periods of time.
Trashy suggested I should post this again, I hope it’s OK with everybody.
Short version: Please donate at least $5 to the housing nonprofit my wife established so we can qualify for some grants from Gannett Corp. If you can do that from now until 11 AM CDT next Monday, it will count towards us possibly winning a $4,000 bonus grant. Use this donation link.
Last time (two weeks ago) we were 15th out of 442 non-profits, so we are hoping to improve. The top three this week get a bonus grant. A strong showing also helps when they decide on the bigger grants (up to $100,000).
On the donation page, you will have options for the payment method, which include PayPal, Venmo, or a credit card. We hope you can help! If you want to give more, please consider giving $5 now and wait until after 11 AM CDT, Monday August 8, to give the rest because next week’s bonus is for total dollars raised (we were 10th in total dollars raised last week). It’s kind of convoluted, but that’s the way the grant contest is set up.
And thank you to those that donated two weeks ago.
Thanks for the reminder! And good luck!
Thanks, just gave – please remind us again on the 8th/9th (at least).
Thanks guys! Keep it coming 🙂
In the latest “transitory” inflation news, I stopped off at Stewart’s on the way home since Cookies and Cream was one of the flavors of the week on sale. Half gallons (and yes, it’s a real half gallon) are now $3.69, up from $3.39 the last time I picked up a half gallon three weeks ago.
And at the supermarket yesterday, budget brand gallons of spring water were up to $1.19, from 99 cents the last time I bought some.
We shopped at Aldi on Sunday – paid over $110 for 4 lightly packed bags of groceries. Still cheaper than Trader Joe’s – will save roughly $200 a month – but damn I still felt like we got gypped at Aldi, which is almost as low as you can go before Dollar Tree or some other uber discount store.
The Meijer vs Gibbs House of Rep primary here must be close. I’ve had three visits from people canvassing for Meijer. And a whole slew of mailers telling me that Gibbs is part of the liberal establishment.
I forgot – until just today – that Meijer voted to impeach Trump back in the waning days of his presidency. How dumb can you get?
How dumb can you get?
I don’t think the limit has been established yet.
There really can be worse dumb, and many politicians strive for that.
This…was something I shouldn’t have watched
Gah…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZwYUYGT90Tk
Tased the dude’s dog. The government has been suppressing the video for 9 months. Dog is a VA dog and obviously was worried about its human.
Thanks for the rage 🙁
No shit, I want to beat that chickenshit cop with a bat.