Tuesday Afternoon Fake Mexican Links

by | Jul 26, 2022 | Daily Links | 291 comments

Musica.

 

Following in the footsteps of the ever-awful Maureen Dowd, CNN gets all paranoid about the new high-potency Marijuana, raises the specter of addiction. Yes, marijuana potency has been rising ever since people started growing it for smoke instead of rope. Prohibition actually incentivized that, since legal penalties for the devil’s lettuce were based on total contraband weight, not THC content. And it is possible to smoke less marijuana knowing that there’s more power per puff; nobody rolls up and smokes an entire “reefer” (marihuana cigarette) anymore, like they did back in the ditch-weed days.

 

 

El Choco Taco esta cancelado.

 

 

Pennsylvania GOP congresscritter attends gay son’s big gay wedding to another gay, days before voting against a bill codifying federal protections for gay marriage. This is supposed to be a gotcha moment, but it is entirely possible to celebrate the marriage of one gay couple while taking a principled stance that marriage is a matter for the states.

 

A small serving of links today, since I’m doing double duty this week. The comments are all yours.

About The Author

Tonio

Tonio

Tonio is a Glibs shitposter, linkstar (Thursday PM, yo), author, and editor. He is also a GlibZoom personality and prankster. Tonio is a big fan of pic-a-nic baskets. His hobbies include salmon fishing, territorial displays, dumpster diving, and posing for wildlife photographers.

291 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “Marijuana”

    RACIST!!!!!!!!!

    • Count Potato

      “nobody rolls up and smokes an entire “reefer” (marihuana cigarette) anymore”

      I wouldn’t go that far, there are lots of heavy users out there.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        I gotta cousin who’s been Bogarting those doobies for the last fifty years, and shows no signs of slowing down; nice guy, I enjoy his company, but he’s utterly baked.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Uh, tolerance?

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        Yeah, probably.

        He’s still baked like a Christmas ham, glaze included.

      • Trigger Hippie

        lol.

        I have a small handful of friends who roll up enough joints during any given day to give Snoop Dogg a run for his money. Maybe they’re a dying breed. I don’t know.

        To be fair, a soild glass pipe is a far more efficient investment.

    • Rat on a train

      Is it more racist to use MaryJane?

      • EvilSheldon

        Juju weed.

  2. Shpip

    If you’re thinking of returning to the weed of your youth to ease the strain of the pandemic, you will soon discover a potent truth – today’s weed is nothing like yesterday’s.

    Pretty sure that particular bogeyman has been around since Reefer Madness.

    • Negroni Please

      They’re kinda right. It’s not like yesterday’s at all. It’s way way better.

      • Tonio

        Who doesn’t remember those awful bags full of shake, stems, and seeds where you had to blow a whole jay to get a buzz?

      • R.J.

        Yeah, that sucked. I am in Colorado right now so I have marijuana paradise.

      • The Other Kevin

        -1 ditch weed

      • rhywun

        Can confirm, but it was quite a shock to the system the first few times I tried nu-weed.

      • Trigger Hippie

        ^

        Truth.

        In the late 90’s mevand mine were flipping out over weed with anything around between the 15-20% THC level.

        Nowad

      • Trigger Hippie

        …. Jesus.

        Anyway, Nowadays a buddy of mine gets upset when his weakest strain is less than 23% THC.

        Hovering around 30% is a good crop.

    • Tonio

      Which is why the illo for that link is a still image from that film.

    • SDF-7

      Today’s weed for me would be exactly like yesterday’s.

      NULL. The NULL set never changes.

      • Grosspatzer

        Ah, NULLS, the bane of database developers everywhere. Many a bug over the years because some newbie did not know that NULL = NULL returns false.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I hate NULLO’s

        There are an estimated 10,000 to 15,000 voluntary nullos worldwide, although due to the secretive nature of the surgery, the actual number is unknown.

        Two-thirds never tell anyone they don’t have genitals, including their family, the study found.

      • Pope Jimbo

        At the risk of encouraging SF and his Wednesday shenanigans…

        From that article about nullos

        Mao Sugiyama – asexual artist/activist/entrepreneur – had his sex glands electively surgically removed in a Tokyo hospital on March 31 (his 22nd birthday). Post-op, he asked for and received his severed genitalia – frozen and double-bagged – that he stashed in his freezer. April 8, he tweeted a shocking invitation to watch the disposal of his defunct erotic parts. April 13, he cooked, seasoned, and served bite-sized morsels of his testicles, scrotal sack, and penis to five gourmands who dished out $250 apiece for the rarities, at a public banquet at Asagaya Loft A event space.

        Seventy additional guests paid to observe the bizarre feasting, while dining on non-organ meat themselves (crocodile and beef).

      • Sensei

        Who said a bag of dicks is worthless?

    • Plisade

      Weed has always made me hallucinate and puke. But I keep trying it every couple years or so.

      • Tundra

        I like edibles for when I’m not sleeping well.

      • Pat

        I use a 5:1 THC:CBG tincture nightly and it works 100x better than any prescription or OTC sleep aid I’ve ever used. A distant campfire makes me feel like I’m about to go into respiratory arrest, so smoking ain’t my bag.

      • Zwak doesn't know what to ignite and what to extinguish

        I hate the smell of weed, the effects on me, and pretty much loath week culture. But my masseuse recommended a gummy sleep aid. And I am pretty sure I am gonna try it, considering my body is saying “Oh, it’s 3:45 am? Wakey wakey!”

      • Pat

        I also can’t stand the smell. And the particular tincture I take is suspended in hemp oil, which tastes approximately like kimchi soaked in yak piss and left in a vomitorium then aged in a cask of surstromming. A half ounce of liquor neutralizes it in about half a second though. The gummies literally just taste like the generic gummy bears you find at discount stores. Well worth your time to try if your experience is anything like mine. The gummies are typically 5 mg a piece, so you’ll probably need two.

      • Pat

        Incidentally, I feel the same way about stoner culture. Never touched weed in any form until I was, what, 32 years old? Back in high school one of my best friends was the central casting stereotypical stoner and I rarely missed an opportunity to tell him what a fuckhead he sounded like. But the day you catch me letting that stand in the way of a drug that’s allowed me to sleep through a night without waking up or constantly dreaming for the first time in a decade will be a cold day in hell (melatonin and ambien both give me wildly psychedelic dreams all night and I wake up feeling worse than I did when I went to bed; ymmv, everybody’s different).

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        There are sweet tinctures, too. Sorry, I forget what state you’re in.

      • Pat

        I actually started with a 1:1 THC:CBD tincture that’s in an agave juice suspension. Sickly sweet, but it at least partially masks the flavor. The 5:1 not only works better for me, but also ends up about 80% cheaper per mg of THC and CBD, and I’m the kind of fella who’s willing to have to wash his mouth out with half an oz liquor to save that kind of dough.

        My last trip to the dispensary I bought an unflavored THC-only tincture, which is much more palatable (that one’s in a coconut MCT oil suspension and is, as it says on the tin, basically flavorless). It’s a hybrid strain though instead of an indica, and doesn’t knock me out as quickly. I only really use it if I’m having a particularly stubborn bout of insomnia to top up the 5:1.

        I’m in NV.

      • Pat

        Incidentally, when I have to move from here and can’t walk into a dispensary and get a nice, neatly labeled, bottled tincture with a precise dropper and dosing, I have no fucking clue what I’m going to do as far as sleep. I’m hoarding a small cache of it now, but that won’t last forever. God fucking forbid you could move to a state with sane gun and tax laws and actually be able to buy intoxicants as well. Or inversely, move to a state with sane-ish intoxicant laws and not have to deal with backwards gun and tax laws.

      • Nephilium

        Pat:

        Recreational marijuana is expected to be on the Ohio ballot in 2023. It was going to be this year, but there were fights between the state and the group collecting petition signatures. The compromise was that it will be on the ballot next year, but the signatures already collected will be counted.

      • Pat

        I’ve had the honor of casting a successful vote to legalize cannabis in two states. Godspeed to you Ohioans. In the Ohio vs. Texas matchup, I strongly suspect Ohio will be the first to legalize weed by a very comfortable margin. It’s certainly a consideration in my relocation plans. Absent federal legalization or rescheduling, Texas will not legalize weed until somewhere around the heat death of universe, give or take 10,000 years.

      • Nephilium

        Pat:

        Considering that Michigan has legal recreational, as does the state of New York, it’s not a long drive to either of them. I have a feeling that will help sway voters into legalizing it here (considering no one in Ohio wants tax money going to Michigan). The previous attempt at recreational here in Ohio was so bad and cronied up that I voted against it.

        It specified specific lots of property that would be the only legal place to grow recreational marijuana. All of which were already owned by the sponsors of the bill (scuttlebutt was that to join the club it was a minimum $1 Million “donation” for your parcel of land to be added to the bill).

      • Pat

        Sounds about right, it’s the cost of admission for legalization, unfortunately. They did a huge giveaway here in NV to the already-existing, already-licensed medical growers leaving them as a monopoly for the first 2 years of legalization, IIRC. I wasn’t buying any cannabis products then so I didn’t care that much. In any case, it’s still better than throwing people in jail for it.

      • Zwak doesn't know what to ignite and what to extinguish

        You make it sound so appealing! But I am currently taking melatonin by gummy, so I get you on the flavor. And thanks for the tips!

      • Tundra

        Did you try magnesium glycinate? That can help with that 4 am shit, too.

    • EvilSheldon

      And now I want to smoke up. Fucking peer pressure, man.

    • R C Dean

      I can recall getting my hands on top-shelf weed back in the late 70s/early 80s (Hawaiian, Lambsbread, Oaxacan) that was a lot more potent than our usual ditchweed. It probably wasn’t quite as potent as today’s top strains, but it was pretty damn strong – two-three bong hits and you were just fine.

  3. Rebel Scum

    taking a principled stance that marriage is a matter for the states.

    Speaking of…

    The case was just the latest example of how red states, supported by Republican-appointed judges, are engaging in a multi-front offensive to seize control of national policy even while Democrats hold the White House and nominally control both the House and Senate. The red states are moving social policy sharply to the right within their borders on issues from abortion to LGBTQ rights and classroom censorship, while simultaneously working to hobble the ability of either the federal government or their own largest metro areas to set a different course.

    To a degree unimaginable even a decade ago, this broad offensive increasingly looks like an effort to define a nation within a nation — one operating with a set of rules and policies that diverge from the rest of America more than in almost any previous era.

    “The only time I can recall in American history even remotely like this [divergence] was after the Civil War when the separate but equal doctrine began to emerge” across the South as a backlash against the attempts of the 13th, 14th and 15th Constitutional amendments to ensure equality for the freed slaves, says Donald Kettl, the former dean of the public policy school at the University of Maryland and author of the book, “The Divided States of America.” He added, “It’s a multifront war with very sharp swords.”

    “Federalism is bad when those icky Republitards do things we don’t like.”

    • Brochettaward

      To a degree unimaginable even a decade ago, this broad offensive increasingly looks like an effort to define a nation within a nation — one operating with a set of rules and policies that diverge from the rest of America more than in almost any previous era.

      The progs are completely ignorant of history and why the institutions they claim to love so much (at least when it serves them) were designed the way they were.

      • juris imprudent

        Progs believe in a glorious future, a future of their design that refutes all that came before it. There is nothing useful to learn from history because it was a time of less progress.

    • Negroni Please

      Either let them build a nation within this nation or watch them build a nation outside this nation. Take your pick

      • SDF-7

        Neo-puritans. Someone, somewhere might be disagreeing with them.

      • juris imprudent

        Wait, are you saying we could get ALL of them to go to Tunisia, or Chile?

      • Fourscore

        Liberia for the freedom. It’s right there in the name. And as a bonus English spoken there.

    • Rat on a train

      multi-front offensive to seize control of national policy
      If states are setting different policies, how is it setting a national policy?

      • JasonAZ

        Don’t interrupt their circular logic man.

      • Zwak doesn't know what to ignite and what to extinguish

        How does that differ from what Progs are doing?

        Oh, right, it’s anyone other than said progs.

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      It was unimaginable to me a decade ago that such a thing as drag queen story time would exist or that people would see abortion as not just something that should be legal but rare, but as something to be celebrated, but here we are.

    • Ted S.

      Now do all those nationwide injunctions during the Trump administration.

    • R C Dean

      this broad offensive increasingly looks like an effort to define a nation within a nation

      Progjection. Is there anything it can’t do?

  4. Shpip

    A study of first-episode psychosis in more than 400 patients in London found those who said they used higher-potency weed were twice as likely to have a psychotic disorder than those who didn’t use marijuana.

    A study that looked at more than 900 patients with psychosis in 11 clinics in Brazil and across Europe found daily use of weed to be associated with increased odds of psychotic disorder.

    So people with low-level psychiatric disorders are more likely to self-medicate with cannabis than, say, Glenfiddich 18? I wonder why that is?

    • Negroni Please

      Por que no los dos?

    • Tonio

      Psychosis is a major psych diagnosis, as opposed to neurosis which is a minor diagnosis.

      • Pat

        Bearing in mind that at least 75% of psychological diagnoses are subjective hogwash only barely more scientifically valid than phrenology. Given another 5-10 years, walking into a psychiatrists office and reciting the boys have a penis line from Kindergarten Cop will likely result in a diagnosis of psychosis.

      • R.J.

        Fartosis

    • EvilSheldon

      Find me someone under the age of 35 who isn’t already a pile of free-floating neuroses. I’ll wait.

  5. Rebel Scum

    Irate Irishman.

    This was the best content from the scam-demic

    • Tundra

      That’s fucking awesome!

      • Sensei

        +1

    • Zwak doesn't know what to ignite and what to extinguish

      Hell Yeah! I was watching an Irish comedian last night, good stuff:
      Explaining Irish Wedding Drinking To An American Doctor. – (Uncensored)
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GZhuarbKQI

      • slumbrew

        Someone linked that the other day – hilarious.

        “I never just drink. I never do that…. I will occasionally drink-drink.”

      • juris imprudent

        That was me, and if you really know Irish folks, it’s familiar.

    • Don escaped Texas

      get this guy over here right now: he’s more a real American than 90% of my neighbors

      I’ll hire him tomorrow and board him til he finds his own place (and show him where a canoe-load of pistols are so he can swim down and borrow one for a while)

    • Negroni Please

      Why is the table wearing a blue suit? Does it identify as a retarded politician?

    • Pat

      Whereupon Joe Biden introduced himself as Mitt W. Bush with pronouns of shen and zhen and announced he wasn’t wearing any pants.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      “I am Elmer Fudd, millionaire. I have a mansion and a yacht.”

      • rhywun

        LOL!

      • Pat

        Willie Brown told her.

  6. CPRM

    I don’t drink coffee, but there is this small coffee shop here in the town where I just arrived, might check it out in a bit. wink. wink.

    • Nephilium

      Glad to hear you got there safe.

      • CPRM

        Cops were searching a room and vehicle at my motel when I got up. And that motel was a lot nicer than this one, so safety may not be guaranteed.

    • The Other Kevin

      Is it one of those places that has a lot of young female lefties working there?

      • CPRM

        That’s what I’ve heard.

  7. Sensei

    Let me stay on the faux Mexican theme.

    Adams admits NYC schools, health care ‘inundated’ by migrant influx, but blames ‘callousness’ of border states
    https://news.yahoo.com/adams-admits-nyc-schools-health-183134668.html

    Yes, those callous states that want something done and tired of paying the same costs that you are now complaining about.

    • robc

      Ummm….isn’t NY a border state?

      • Pat

        The northern border doesn’t count, that’s the one with respectable white people, not the one with the day laborers.

      • Animal

        Poutine, not tacos.

      • Zwak doesn't know what to ignite and what to extinguish

        Definitely substandard, hosers.

      • rhywun

        zing

  8. The Late P Brooks

    but it is entirely possible to celebrate the marriage of one gay couple while taking a principled stance that marriage is a matter for the states.

    Or you could even deny the necessity of government sanction of personal relationships in total.

    • Zwak doesn't know what to ignite and what to extinguish

      This. But even more than abortion, that idea drives everyone whose not a libertarian bat-shit insane.

  9. juris imprudent

    Choco tacos were part of the downfall of an ambitious LE bureaucrat! Funny story, and Dan Love was an asshole of amazing proportions. Wonder what he is doing these days?

  10. The Other Kevin

    Thanks for not posting the front view of those shorts.

    • pistoffnick

      Noted: TOK prefers the rear view…

  11. Count Potato

    “TikTok moms remove videos of their kids from app over fears they are being targeted by pedophiles after footage of TikTok’s most popular ‘three-year old’ girl is saved by THOUSANDS of men

    The movement was sparked after the mothers spotted a worrying trend with TikTok’s ‘most popular’ three-year-old girl, Wren Eleanor.

    Wren, whose mom Jacquelyn has posted photos and videos of her on the social media site since she was born, has more than 17 million followers on the platform.

    Her account features hundreds of seemingly innocent videos of the blonde toddler playing and enjoying days out with her mother and grandma, along with sponsored content.

    Hundreds of users have been quick to comment on any videos of Wren that they fear could fall into the wrong hands. Searches for ‘Wren Eleanor hot dog’ or ‘pickle’ were high, meaning users on TikTok and Google were searching for the three-year-old eating those foods”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-11050173/Mom-led-TikTok-movement-remove-pics-children-amid-concerns-exploitation-three-year-old.html

    • Negroni Please

      Holy shit! You’re telling me there are perverts on the internet? Why was I not informed of this before? There oughta be a law….

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      If you didn’t realize creeps were trolling the internet before now, you’re not real bright are ye?

      • juris imprudent

        New Q-theory – there are no perverts on the internet.

      • Count Potato

        Or doesn’t care, because of the money.

      • Pat

        This right here.

        “I didn’t realize when I decided to whore my baby out for internet accolades and an ad revenue split that there was anything untoward going on…”

    • Compelled Speechless

      It still never occurs to these idiots that there’s a giant problem with posting everything about their kid’s lives for public consumption beyond the fact that in .000001% of cases a pedophile might put save some pics/videos into a no-no folder on their laptop? What about the fact that the child never consented to being broadcast all the time and having their entire life on display for every kid they have to go to school with, future employer and creep that gets a crush on them to exploit for whatever purposes they dream up. You’re right that you’re a bad mom for selling your children’s lives and privacy for a few likes. Just not for the reason you’ve noted here.

  12. R C Dean

    while taking a principled stance

    See, that’s where people’s brains vapor-lock.

    • juris imprudent

      Principle? No, I don’t believe I do know what that is. /lots of folks not just progs

  13. Certified Public Asshat

    I’ve never had a choco taco. It just seems like one of the messiest ways to eat ice cream.

    • Rat on a train

      Every taco is unique.

    • Negroni Please

      I just thought choco taco was what Michelle called Barry’s vagina

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Superior: It’s It. The ice cream is average but the cookie is great.

      • Pat

        I, too, will vouch for the venerable choco taco. Or at least as it existed when I was probably 7 years old the last time I had one.

      • Pat

        On that note, 99% of the ice cream on the market sucks monkey testicles nowadays. They’ve already downsized the cartons from half gallons to 1.25 quarts. FFS, raise the price, but leave some, you know, milk and cream in the product.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Haagen Dazs downsized during the last recession (14 oz), but it’s still a nice pure unfussy product, unlike that woke Unilever line.

      • slumbrew

        I just made vanilla stracciatella for my elderly neighbor as a ‘thank you’ for grabbing our mail & watering our plants while we were away.

        I will immodestly say it’s awesome, but between the vanilla beans, the chocolate, etc. it’d be about $20/gal.

      • Pat

        I had a free year-long Costco membership that expired a couple months ago. My last hurrah was to buy one of their big 4 packs of their vanilla ice cream. It’s close to that price range. I think it was like $14.50/gal. Worth it though. They’re legit half gallon containers, actually taste like vanilla, and don’t feel like freezer burnt skim milk on your palette.

      • one true athena

        yeah, those new mini “half-gallon” sizes are pretty pathetic shrinkflation.

        I opened a box of water crackers yesterday and of course the box was the same size, but it’s now basically 2/3rd full.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Is Turkey Hill regional?

        I think it’s fine.

      • Pat

        The only place I’ve ever seen Turkey Hill is on The Sopranos. Out here in the west at least, I don’t think it’s distributed.

      • juris imprudent

        Yes, Turkey Hill is regional, and it’s not even the best in the region. Cartman’s FTW.

  14. Rat on a train

    Abolish State Senates

    What the country needs is 50 majority-rule unicameral state legislatures.

    We need to remove obstacles to mob rule.

    • juris imprudent

      Actually this is one I agree with. State senates are stupid.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It is a fair point that state senates don’t actually represent anything and are just another house divided up differently.

        Change it so that every county has their own appointed senator.

        Then see how the proggies scream.

      • SDF-7

        Yup — skimming it, my takeaway was “Boy was the Warren court wrong. First, the states are sovereign and can organize how they damned well please, assholes. Second, if they *are* organized like the Federal Senate — especially in a state like California, it would give some balance back to the rest of the state that is so so damned tired of LA, SF and Sacramento telling everyone else how to live.” So don’t abolish it, stop breaking it!

        Love this quote at the end:

        The need for such a change cannot be overstated. It becomes clearer with each passing day that the fundamental flaw in American democracy is the absence of any guarantee for majority rule.

        Tell me you don’t understand that we’re a Federal Republic in two sentences….

      • Rebel Scum

        It’s almost like America is not intended to be a democracy…

      • juris imprudent

        Stupid on stilts doesn’t make it less stupid. The U.S. Senate had a reason to exist, it used to be the entirety of the U.S. Congress (under the AoC). The Senate was created to counterbalance the House within the legislative domain – so a check and balance within a larger check and balance.

      • Pat

        I don’t see how the federal senate is any less superfluous than a state senate since the 17th amendment. The entire point of the bicameral legislature was that the upper house represented the interest of the state, and hence was elected by the state legislature, while the lower house represented the proles, and hence was elected by the proles.

      • juris imprudent

        I wasn’t speaking to the abomination that is the 17th Amdt – fucking progs.

      • Zwak doesn't know what to ignite and what to extinguish

        That has been my idea all along, and I have always been surprised that wasn’t in the original plans.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Change it so that every county has their own appointed senator.

        This x 6.022 x 10^23

        And ditch the 17th Amendment, while I’m dreaming.

      • Necron 99

        Texas Senate, 22 Democrats, 232 Republicans.

        That would be interesting.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Agreed. I don’t see the point of bicameral legislatures in the states. It might be better to replace it with more but smaller districts, at least in a state as large as CA.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Also, isn’t there already one state with a unicameral legislature? Ohio or Nebraska or something?

      • Nephilium

        It’s not Ohio, and the senate here does not follow county lines.

      • Pat

        It’s Nebraska.

      • Pat

        I don’t have a particularly strong stance on the matter, but it seems that a bicameral legislature is less likely to pass stupid laws hastily due to partisan mud slinging, and anything that puts a brake on the legislative process is an unvarnished good in my book.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, the NY state senate was the last GOP holdout before we went full one-party state a few years ago. And they did on occasion manage to perform exactly that duty.

    • Rebel Scum

      Abolish State Senates
      What the country needs is 50 majority-rule unicameral state legislatures.

      I believe there is a constitutional provision regarding what form of government the states must have.

      • juris imprudent

        Yes, republican, not bi-cameral.

    • JG43

      Before 1964 I believe (Reynolds v Sims) counties did have a state senator in most states. But then “one man, one vote” and “land doesn’t get a vote” happened and 48 states had to change their constitutions. Since then, all states are pretty much ruled by the largest cities in them

      • juris imprudent

        County as Senate was stupidly aping the federal system – where a state is at least a sovereign entity. A county is an administrative unit.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        But what if counties were sovereign and had their own reserved powers?

        How glorious would that be? Nullification upon nullification…

  15. Compelled Speechless

    The war on air conditioning has begun. You really have to read this commie claptrap to believe it, especially the authors suggestions for what they think “should be done.”

    Energy collectives and “increasing access to public cooling spaces like libraries”. I shit you not.

    I have no doubt in my mind that at next year’s Davos our fearless leaders will all be forgoing this modern decadence as an example for all of us to follow.

    https://time.com/6199353/air-conditioning-will-not-save-us/

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Come for my HVAC, I come for your head.

    • kinnath

      Forcing Midwesterners to get rid of A/C will definitely result in a shooting war.

    • Negroni Please

      AC will blow the grid but everyone driving electric cars is no big deal and will totally save the earth

      • Compelled Speechless

        Except for the fact that I’ve already started seeing them plant the seeds for the idea that privately owned vehicles, electric or otherwise, must become verboten. As JI says below, real dedication to the cause means going pre-modern.

      • Pat

        real dedication to the cause means going pre-modern.

        Oh please. Not of the douche canoes peddling this shit ever expects that they’ll have to do without. Like Obama lecturing Americans about their energy usage while keeping the white house thermostat at a balmy 80 degrees because “He’s from Hawaii” even though he lived most of his adult life in fucking Chicago, the polyp on the asshole of Jack Frost.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I don’t for one second think that devotion to the cause means the “important” people will give up anything. I do know several leftists that will be explaining to me how virtuous they are the next time they invite me over to their house and I’m sweating through my shirt within ten minutes.

    • Certified Public Asshat
      • Tundra

        Well said.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        And that is why you don’t use brackets…

        *insert Massie vs. Buttigieg clip from last week*

    • juris imprudent

      You see, this is how we get people out of their houses and out onto their front porches, or stoops, again. We can force the recreation of pre-modern communities!

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Fans and lemonade: it’ll be just like Mayberry!

      • Count Potato

        They’ll arrest the kids selling lemonade.

      • Grosspatzer

        You see, this is how we get people out of their houses and out onto their front porches, or stoops, again

        That is exactly how I grew up – Six-story walkup in NYC in the 1950’s, “air conditioning” was a fan in the bedroom window if you could afford one. Whole neighborhood out on the streets until midnight, men drinking beer and playing dominoes, women doing their gossipy things, kids running around. I don’t miss it, and have on many occasions let my kids know that this is what is in store for them in a “green” paradise. Sweaty, sleepless misery.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        AC is the entire plot device of The Seven-Year Itch.

      • rhywun

        Yeah, I would absolutely refuse to live in a NYC without air conditioning. A window unit was the first fucking thing a purchased when I arrived, in the middle of a heat wave.

      • Compelled Speechless

        Nothing says progress like going pre-modern!

      • Mason

        There was an article a few years back in the Boston Globe making that very argument.

        Porch Culture

      • Mason

        Well crap.

        Try this

    • The Other Kevin

      They’ll give it up at Davos the same year they all decide to get there in rowboats.

    • B.P.

      That’s just great, since my local public library is a Thunderdome of heroin use and masturbation.

    • Sean

      Maybe Mr. Talaas could skip a couple meals…

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      Start in DC. Also make DC residents eat bugs.

    • Plisade

      “You have heard then, comrades,” he said, “that we pigs now sleep in the beds of the farmhouse? And why not? You did not suppose, surely, that there was ever a ruling against beds? A bed merely means a place to sleep in. A pile of straw in a stall is a bed, properly regarded. The rule was against sheets, which are a human invention. We have removed the sheets from the farmhouse beds, and sleep between blankets. And very comfortable beds they are too! But not more comfortable than we need, I can tell you, comrades, with all the brainwork we have to do nowadays. You would not rob us of our repose, would you, comrades? You would not have us too tired to carry out our duties? Surely none of you wishes to see Jones back?”

    • Pat

      People would quite literally die in the millions here in NV, AZ, NM and parts of TX. Shall I sleep in the fucking library when it’s 97 degrees outside at midnight?

      • JasonAZ

        Pre-AC, in the middle east, people would sleep on their roofs during the hot summer days because the inside of the house is unbearable.

      • Ted S.

        Sleeping on the fire escape is the plot driver for the great little late 40s move The Window.

  16. Rebel Scum

    Dr. Jill Biden.

    Whoopi Goldberg suggests Jill Biden become Surgeon General of the United States because she’s an “amazing doctor.” The mindless audience of The View clap like trained seals at the idea.

    • EvilSheldon

      She’d probably be no worse that whatever proggie idiot is in there now.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Old news?

      Ah I see, resurfacing because the fat whore is arguing with Gaetz.

  17. kinnath

    It’s been over 30 years since I tried mj. I can’t say that I miss it or that I would start up if it was legal. But, I support your right to partake.

    • grrizzly

      Over 20 years for me. If somebody offered it at a party, sure, I’d join. But it never occurred to me to try to find it myself. I’ll probably wait until it’s available in a grocery store.

      • Fourscore

        Different generation. No interest. Cheap whiskey held the allure for most of present day’s 4Scores. Never so much as a whiff.
        VN, circa ’71. After work the kids went off to a log in an open area, the NCOs headed for the club, officers played volley ball and then hid in the privacy of their hootch and relaxed.

        Both meanings of hootch

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Even my dog is on CBD. Does help with sleep (quantity and perhaps quality too).

  18. The Late P Brooks

    That “irate Irishman” is awesome.

    “And where would ye be goin’; sir?”

    “THAT’S NONE O’ YOOR FOOKIN’ BUSINESS!”

  19. Rebel Scum

    Parenting is difficult.

    Mom claims her son came out as trans at age 3 after the pediatrician asked him if he’s a boy or a girl

    • The Other Kevin

      50% of kids that age would say “dinosaur”.

      • Negroni Please

        I identified as mars when I was little. I only wore red and wouldn’t respond to my real name for a couple of months. I should demand NASA funding to explore my own body!

      • Zwak doesn't know what to ignite and what to extinguish

        I wanted to be a midget.

      • Penguin

        You weren’t at the time?

    • Sean

      She self-identifies as Minnie Mouse’s bow

    • Certified Public Asshat

      after the pediatrician asked

      Find a new one.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      She meant to say “I came out as a lunatic when my son turned three.”

      • JasonAZ

        The Mom looks exactly how I expected her to look. What a nutter.

  20. Tundra

    Let’s check in with our friends in Wuhan, shall we?

    Would tactical nukes be enough to render these sites less harmful?

    • one true athena

      I “love” how it’s apparently Our Job to level random buildings in Sudan because someone there might be building a suicide bomber vest, but a massive biohazard facility responsible for the deaths of thousands of people just merrily rolls along, being dangerously incompetent at best and a deliberate global bioweapons factory at worst.

      • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

        Better than that, we send them money.

      • juris imprudent

        Of course we would – did you not read how he described it as incompetent and dangerous. The only surprise is that Congress hasn’t pushed more money into that.

      • Compelled Speechless

        It’s simple. Our masters fund and get a say in what the biohazard facility does and who it kills. Our masters get no say in what suicide vest guy does. This cannot stand.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gmBxRjFcnRo

    • EvilSheldon

      Hard work good, and hard work fine, but first take care of head…

      • slumbrew

        ^^^ this guy gets it ^^^

  21. Rebel Scum

    “My poor decisions are society’s fault.”

    One of the directors for George Soros’ Open Society Foundations who specializes in public health, Sebastian Köhn, shares in the Guardian how he had sex with multiple men in a weekend for NYC Pride & contracted both #monkeypox & gonorrhea. He blames the system for failing him.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Again, there was a lot of talk about refusing to treat people who didn’t want to lockdown, wear a mask, or take a vaccine…

    • Penguin

      Salty Cracker talks about that guy.

    • B.P.

      When I was growing up, some variation of “society did this to me” or “I’m a victim of the system” was a running joke amongst my friends. Now it’s a guiding principle of our culture.

      • Compelled Speechless

        If you practice righthink, nothing that happens to you can be your fault.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Just put that card in the window, shopkeeper.

      • Pat

        victim of the system

        It made for a great hook at least.

      • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

        “It’s society what done it.”
        “Right, we’ll nick them, too.”

    • Count Potato

      “specializes in public health”

      • JasonAZ

        Nice catch.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        It’s Ok, just say “sinecure”.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He didn’t say “pubic health.”

    • slumbrew

      Who’s gonna tell P Brooks about the music link at the top?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “For a buck and a quarter, you can get Minnie.”

  22. The Late P Brooks

    He blames the system for failing him.

    Ban promiscuous homosexuality!

  23. Mojeaux

    @Tonio — I love your bio.

    • slumbrew

      territorial displays

      Can confirm, I’ve been on some of those Zooms.

    • Tonio

      Thanks, folks.

  24. B.P.

    I remember reading that Maureen Dowd column when it came out, and being transfixed by her mention of wearing lime-green corduroy pants during her edible marijuana freakout. The whole article gave me a contact high.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Yesterday, just for fun, I was looking at some random car want ad site. There was a first-gen BMW 320i for~ $5000. The pics looked okay. Unfortunately, it was in Seattle or somewhere in that general vicinity. If it had been in Salt Lake, I probably would have called about it.

    There was a Bavaria, too, in some godforsaken place like Virginia Beach.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Aw. Haven’t seen one of those in an age. I love 20C BMWs.

    • Compelled Speechless

      “The show will feature a news-driven mix and Olbermann’s trademark “Special Comment” political analysis and “Worst Person In The World” segment”

      I’m confused on the last part. How is it a segment if it’s also the entire show?

  26. Sensei
  27. The Late P Brooks

    Haven’t seen one of those in an age.

    Bavaria? They’re great cars. I had one. It was my dad’s, and he handed it off to me when he got something newer. Made for the open road, back before BMW turned into whatever they are today.

    • Sensei

      Mobile computer on wheels with the weight of a small truck.

      But it still has a 50/50 weight distribution!

    • slumbrew

      We had a 3.0L just like this when I was growing up (a ’76, that’s a ’77).

      My parents bought it off neighbors who had had it imported directly – controls were still in German.

      Pretty cool car, wish I had bought it off my parents.

      • Zwak doesn't know what to ignite and what to extinguish

        Tundra and I were BSing about the cars we used to own, but if you start looking at what our folks had, whole ‘nuther ballgame! My parent’s first new car was a ’66 Mustang convertible, and that came after my mother destroyed the tranny in my dad’s Sunbeam Alpine. A friend’s father had a series of ’30s Fords he restored, another friend’s father, who was Austrian, and a BMW 508 back in his college days apparently.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Er, 320. Gorgeous blonde HS classmate had one (inherited). She looked great in it.

  28. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. 3M says it will split in two

    One of Minnesota’s largest employers announced Tuesday it will split into two multibillion dollar businesses.

    On Tuesday, Maplewood-based 3M said it will “spin off” its health care business, which the company said totaled $8.6 billion in sales in 2021.

    “The New 3M will remain a leading global material science innovator serving customers across a range of industrial and consumer end markets,” 3M said in a statement, “and Health Care will be a leading global diversified healthcare technology company focused on wound care, healthcare IT, oral care, and biopharma filtration.”

    Minnesoda politicians have bled 3M for decades and decades. I wonder if this is 3M preparing an escape pod. The profitable stuff goes into one company that will move to Texas or Florida and the other losers stay here.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Case 1: 3M to establish $1B trust for legal claims over ‘defective’ combat earplugs

      Case 2: Minnesota settles water pollution suit against 3M for $850 million

      The trial was delayed a week following a Minnesota Department of Health report earlier this month that found no unusually high rates of cancer or adverse birth outcomes in the east metro, raising questions about the strength of the state’s case.

      [Atty Gen Lori] Swanson said she found the health department’s actions “very, very troubling,” adding that they did not help her case.

      I really couldn’t blame 3M if they were tired of being screwed over by the locals.

    • Tundra

      *Medtronic waves from Europe.*

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      So will there now be 2 1.5Ms? Or 1M and 2M?

    • Sensei

      Honestly large conglomerates are a PITA to properly value.

      Wall St. much prefers simpler stories. But breakups like this usually wind up with a bunch of crap in one entity.

    • Compelled Speechless

      How much of the healthcare business’ 8.6B was from a blank check from state and federal governments for super effective masks? I don’t think the demand for those is sustainable.

    • Pat

      No need for worry, you guys still have Digi-Key.

      • Pope Jimbo

        DigiKey is great. I once worked for Digi and my family was totes disappointed to find out that they are not the same company.

        The family was getting ready to demand an unending pile of crazy crappy gizmos.

      • Pat

        I love Digi-Key. I started buying one-off components from them for various paintball projects starting 20 years ago, and I buy around 90% of the components for the products I assemble, markup, and sell from Digi-Key to this day. Unless there’s a huge price mismatch I’ll give them my business over Mouser any day of the week. For 2 reasons: 1) their customer service is stellar and 2) fuck Buffett.

    • hayeksplosives

      3M already has a presence in Austin. That’s where they develop specialty stuff for electric power systems: terminations and splices for underground cable, tapes, etc.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    I’m not gonna lie. I could permit myself to be seen driving an early 320.

  30. Draw Me Like One of Your Tulpae, Jack

    Since marriage is a contractual exercise for people to share resources, the State in any form shouldn’t be involved unless and until dissolution (if necessary)

    • creech

      That would be good news for lawyers. They get involved at the beginning of every marriage instead of just at the end of those that fall apart.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I find that whatever is good for lawyers tends to end up being bad for human beings.

      • Pat

        I can walk into my local UPS store right now and buy template forms for establishing a sole proprietorship or partnership, landlord-tenant agreement, adoption paperwork, medical directive, living will, last will and testament, etc. They run about $20 a piece. You could simply copy and paste the existing state statutory language into such a template and hey presto, you’ve got a marriage without a lawyer for about 100 bucks worth of documents, notary fees, and filing fees.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Yeah, but state-specific?

        Sorry, I hate to say anything negative, but: no.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      The legislators make the law, not the private-sector lawyers. They’re busy handing out Kleenex and nipping from the desk-drawer flask.

  31. Compelled Speechless

    So I don’t know if it’s just Idaho’s overheated housing market or if it’s a sign of things to come nationally. I work for a homebuilder that hasn’t had a single house in inventory for more than a week for the three years I’ve worked here. Sales have hit an absolute brick wall the last two months and we’re going to be sitting on fifty homes here that are all in various states of being built and we’ve completely stopped buying lots and pulling permits. Needless to say, I got laid off this morning. How’s everyone else’s day going?

    • Sean

      I hired another employee today. He starts Monday.

      • Sean

        Of course, I’m not gaining any ground on this one. Cuz my last hire flaked after 3 days. *sigh*

    • creech

      Don’t worry, Top. Men. assure us there is no recession in sight.

    • Sean

      Oops. But post too soon…

      Sorry about your job. 😕

      • Compelled Speechless

        I’ve known it’s coming. I have a bunch of industry connections now, but it seems it would be foolish to be within 500 yards of the construction industry right now. The reckoning needed to come and I think it may be a long way to the bottom yet. Better to be the first one out the door looking for something else than be huddled with everyone else in the unemployment line when shit really hits the fan.

      • Count Potato

        I’ve known plenty of guys who did cash jobs while still collecting.

    • Count Potato

      Sorry 🙁

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Aw, hun.

    • JasonAZ

      Sorry about the job loss. That’ll make for a shitty day.

      Our housing market is nearly identical here in Phoenix. Even this spring, houses would hit the market and get sold in a few days. Then June 1st hit and everything came to a halt. Not sure whats going on with actual builders. Inventory is still low, but most people don’t want to catch the market at it’s high point. Wait a year, maybe 20-30% less.

      • Compelled Speechless

        I’ve been pointing to everyone I work with that the fact that we’ve been laughing at how everything is selling for over asking is not a good sign. Clearly not sustainable and there will be huge ramifications from a massive housing bubble. No one wanted to listen to the cynical guy who believes in those silly Austrian economics. My sales manager still doubted me this afternoon when I told him that the next foreclose-a-thon is going to start in the next six months. Blackrock is grinning from ear to ear.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Hugs to my dear Cassandra.

    • Name's BEAM. James BEAM.

      Bummer. Sorry, mang.

      My day’s just been filled with prepping and painting a feature wall in our living room. We have noticed that homes for sale here in Edmonton have suddenly stopped selling — and some people are sitting on some fairly pricey realty that they were probably hoping to move soon. Our HOA’s surrounded by expensive homes and the market for that has been relatively immune to the larger market’s ups and downs over the past few years, but not this summer.

      2022/2023’s gonna be unpleasant.

    • Pat

      Pisser 🙁 I’m the son of a painting contractor, so I understand your plight to some extent. Not always a fun industry.

    • hayeksplosives

      Sorry about the sudden job loss.

      However, I’m assured by our President that the unemployment rate is at a record low.

    • Tundra

      Fuck. Sorry, brother.

      I was manufacturing construction tools during the last downturn. The spigot literally stopped overnight. It wasn’t gradual at all. We got crushed.

      However, good things always seem to sprout from shit.

      Good luck and go kick some ass somewhere else.

    • grrizzly

      Sorry about it. Hope you’ll find something good soon.

    • Don escaped Texas

      hang in there

      I’m upstream a bit lately: most of my clients lately are in lumber, millwork, or furniture
      so a lot of leads in the old sales funnel won’t come true….at least fewer than usual
      2022 is made, of course, and 2023 is a decent book, but I could fall off the edge after 2023-Q2

      need to focus on foodstuffs during a downturn; meanwhile

      there’s cleaning up the shop, equipment
      new layouts for efficiency
      training (checking boxes that must be checked every year)
      cash willing, could run up a couple months’ inventory

    • Grosspatzer

      “The child reportedly made his next move on the chess board before the robot — a large, automated arm powered by artificial intelligence — had time to recalculate and mistook the boy’s finger for a chess piece, according to Lazarev.”

      Hey, we can use this AI for swlf-driving cars!

    • JaimeRoberto (carnitas/spicy salsa)

      In Putin’s Russia robot break you.

    • Sean

      [Redacted]

    • rhywun

      First I’ve heard of it.

      I guess this is how they’ll steal every election from now on.

      • hayeksplosives

        Can we make a deal with them that they can stay in the Capitol building and pass pretend legislation and keep their salaries, but none of their “laws” are real?

        Maybe the economy could then recover and they still get to play grown-up politician. Even though we’d still have to pay their salaries, it would be a bargain overall.

    • B.P.

      One look at the Japanese beetles in my garden, and I just had to march over to the local sushi restaurant and give the owners an earful about it.

      • B.P.

        Whelp, that went in the wrong damn place.

      • Sean

        😉

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re obviously trying to start a shooting war.

  32. Count Potato

    “Scientists change Asian murder hornets name to avoid ‘discrimination’

    Scientists announced Monday that the terrifying insects’ official moniker, “Asian giant hornet,” has been changed to “northern giant hornet” — in what they say is an effort to prevent anti-Asian hate crimes.”

    https://nypost.com/2022/07/26/scientists-change-asian-murder-hornets-name/

    Because of all the crazy black guys that follow entomology?

    • CPRM

      Gypsy Sponge moths say hi.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I’ve recently seen a pro- black hiking PSA. As if the Appalachian Trail cares anything about the Fitzpatrick Skin Type of its followers.

      How about don’t try to nudge populaces into activities they aren’t inclined to.

      • juris imprudent

        Like this is new? Look how young he was then.

      • Tundra

        That whole clip is hilarious.

    • Pat

      Wait until they find out about the Africanized honey bee.

  33. CPRM

    My doctor keeps telling me I need to drink less beer. So I’m having some vodka spiked lemonade in my motel room.

    • CPRM

      It’s nutritional, it has vitamin C!

      • R.J.

        SHARKELBERRY FIN IS TOO A FLAVOR!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Greenpeace is why we can’t have the good things anymore.