Friday Morning Links

Friday Morning Links

Good morning everybody, happy Friday. Thank you for the wonderful response to our begathon. I believe we will be able to keep the squirrels in chow into 2025. If I made off with the money, not only will the girls have teeth, they’ll have ALL their teeth. But I won’t...

Monday Morning Links

Monday Morning Links

Greetings from America's Wang, where Spring Break has started bringing in foreign bodies like genital warts. Oh, and totally unrelated, I believe Sloopy, Banjos and family are heading this way, too. But they're not Yankees or Canucks, even if Sloopy was looking for a...

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

Monday Afternoon Links

I discovered something this weekend, my house is way too big, and we have way too much stuff. This is my recommended solution.

Monday Afternoon Links

I think all the time-traveling the Hat & Hair did to save The Donald is really stating to pull our local reality apart at the seams.

Thursday Afternoon Links

You know what, seven hours in the car to see a rocket launch yesterday would have been okay. Seven hours to eat a mediocre dinner and have some ice cream in Cocoa Beach feels wasted.