Ahem. Allow me to quote from last week's horoscope: Mars = Orange planet = Orange Man in Leo = King of Beasts = Orange Man King. I might also go with Leo = Lion’s Mane = Trump Hair + Mars = Trump commander in Chief. Anyway, enough gloating. Let's see...
IFLA: The “Frosted Fields” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of November 3
When the temperature drops, Lily’s energy level rises to compensate.
IFLA: The “Most Boring Horoscope Ever” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of October 27
It is often said that there is nothing new under the sun. Sometimes there is nothing new above the earth. Yes, the moon still moves around, so there may be a flutter on Wednesday, and there is an extremely minor augmentation of the general felicity of Scorpios on...
IFLA: The “So… Tired…” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of October 10
The week begins with “Aw shit, duck and cover” With MERCURY RETROGRADE lining up with Mars and the sun to blast us with harsh vibes. Fortunately, that breaks up quickly. What’s not so fortunate is that MERCURY RETROGRADE links up with other celestial events afterwards, to wit: Saturn goes station direct this week, so finally that big boy will begin to make some progress through the zodiac. Our girl tussles with a Huskie.
IFLA: The “La Plus Ca Change” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of October 3
I am very, very tempted to do some nifty formatting and just blockquote all of last week’s post because literally everything this week is exactly the same as last week with two exceptions: 1) MERCURY RETROGRADE (and this happened last week); 2) The Moon in Leo. This week is apparently important for the yutes.
Crackpot’s Corner: The Prisoner and Storytelling Changes
Back in the day…
IFLA: The “Return of the Pics” Edition of the Horoscope for the week of September 26
The week starts out with an inauspicious alignment of Mars and the moon with the Sun. Inauspicious, but I don’t know exactly how it’s applicable to you, so I’ll just mention that it exists and move on. The moon in Gemini (especially since it’s aligned with Mars, supra) indicates treachery. Libra’s got most of the good stuff right up until Wednesday when it gets the full effect of MERCURY RETROGRADE.
IFLA: The “No Pics This Week” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of September 19
This week: A good day on Wednesday. Thursday is an optimal time to break something since the earth will flanked by the moon and Mercury. It’s also a day when luck will play a particularly large role. Thursday and Friday will be a time of aggression.
IFLA: The “Urge Overkill” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of September 12
The skies are both boring and unpleasant this week. The only alignment is Mars (war, aggression) – Mercury (change, news, chaos, disruption, luck) – Jupiter retrograde (misrule, sadness, tyranny). The best possible interpretation is that we’ll find out details of who/how someone screwed up a military operation. Let’s go with that one — the alternate interpretations are left as an exercise for the reader. Lily goes to the vet.
IFLA: The “Ashijutsu” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of September 5
A mostly nondescript week. Some tension from Mars being in opposition to Venus which could indicate spats between lovers on Thursday . If you make an effort on Monday though nothing really bad should happen however. Dog park cuteness.
IFLA: The “I’ve Got to Talk About Something” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of August 29
There are no alignments this week and the visitations are all extremely basic. This is a good week for Virgos to press their luck – Mars and Mercury are joined by the newly-arrived Sun. The Queen of Wands. Tarot deck differences and secrets. Gratuitous puppy pics.
IFLA: The Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of August 22
Even with domestic misrule, it’s a good week to be in a romantic relationship, with Venus in Libra keeping tiffs to a minimum. Doubly so if you’re a woman in a relationship, since Mars in Virgo indicates that you’ll be on the winning side of any arguments that do occur. Also, Dog Park Confidential.
IFLA: The “Conflicting Signals” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of August 15
There is an extremely rare, extremely powerful, extremely good sign in the Heavens at the beginning of the week. Also, pretty frisbee girl slathered in mud.
IFLA: The “Coming Up for Air” Edition of the Horoscope for the week of August 8
Leo and Virgo remain large and in charge tis week. With Virgo, it’s a “can do no wrong” sort of situation, whereas with Leo, it’s more of an “unbelievable luck” thing. So Leos should buy one (1) lottery ticket this week. If you buy a bunch, it looks like you’re trying to game the system, and Luck does not like a smartass.
IFLA: the “Watch the News” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of August 1
This week has a very interesting, major configurations going on. So major that it probably isn’t referring to any of you guys (no offense). But here it is, so when it hits the news you’ll be able to marvel at my prognosticatory prowess. Also, cute puppy pics.
IFLA: The “It’s Good to be the King (of the Beasts)” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of July 25
Sometimes you get the beast. Sometimes the beast gets you. Which is it this week? Click and find out.
IFLA: The “WWF Circa 1894” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of July 18
The planets aren’t lining up this week.
IFLA The “Capturing Resource Nodes” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of July 11
Trigger Warning: horoscopes and doge cuteness overload.
IFLA: The “Moar Pics” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of July 4
Constellations, planets, fireworks, dogs. It’s all here.
IFLA: The “A Trip to the Park” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of June 27
All the action is clustered in the middle of the week.
IFLA: The “EIFYAJHTF*” Edition of the Horoscope for the week of June 20
The moon in Libra, very typical of discombobulation.
IFLA: The “They’re Waiting” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of June 13
Mercury Retrograde.
IFLA: The “D-Day” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of June 6
I still like snow (and chipmunks).
IFLA: The “Whoopsie!” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of May 30
Enjoy and be very, very, afraid.
IFLA: The “Could be a Lot Worse”Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of May 23
While this can mean a few different things…