Author: Tonio

A Noob Guide to Glibertarians.com

Glibertarians.com, aka Glibs, is a private website owned and operated by The Powers That Be (TBTP) for the amusement of themselves and the greater Glib community. TPTB were kind enough to open this website for others to contribute material, and to participate in the comments. Just don’t be a dick, don’t throw around racist slurs, and don’t attack other people unless they are arguing in bad faith (rare here, but it happens). Attacking positions is always fair game. They will ban a troll faster than you can say “rumplestiltskin.”

Read More

The Glibening, Part Ten: The Triumph of Preet Bharara

Fortune had smiled upon him unexpectedly. At that very moment his top man was strolling through the offices of Thought! magazine tagging along with NYPD on a crazy girl call that had come in that morning during the taskforce meeting. No warrant needed. Even if they were squeaky clean, and he knew they weren’t, NYPD would manage to find something.

Read More

Portrait of a Grifter

I kept skimming over this clause, filtering it out as “random, self-absorbed, chick blather,” but something about it made me keep coming back to it until it struck me that this was a tell; that she had inadvertently dropped a piece of information which caused everything else to drop into place.

Read More

The Making of a Glibs Author

The scarab-colored Corniche purred North along FDR drive with the top down on a beautiful Manhattan Fall day. Tonio chatted away with his agent in the back seat and they took turns exchanging her flask of VSOP with his joint of some really good weed the bellhop had sold him.

Read More

How I Spent My Summer Vacation

Hammond was strapped to a gurney by wide leather belts at the chest, wrists, waist and ankles. Brian opened an envelope containing a thick rubber “hockey puck” bite guard which he slipped into the patient’s open and eager mouth, then made sure it was fitted in securely. He was the only orderly who would work this duty; the others were either scared off by Vinson’s rantings about deviltry, or terrified of the old bat herself.

Read More

A GlibFit Special: Tonio’s Rough Guide to Kayaking

Kayaking is a fun and safe recreational activity enjoyed by people at all levels of fitness and mobility. Kayaking can be done on almost any body of liquid water, but I’m going to focus on flatwater and stillwater paddling since that is the entry point and maximum level of attainment for most people. Kayaking is a good low-impact exercise and enables fishing, nature photography, and camping. Nothing beats the relaxation of a day on the water.

Read More

A Chronicle of the Insurgency, Part Five: At Home with the Hasturs

Junior stood on the sidewalk back against the building wall with his “Abortion is Murder” sign. Most of the passing college students looked at him with disgust. A few were visibly angered and mouthed or muttered insults or flipped him off. He ignored them and kept scanning the crowd for possible threats. A fat dyke waddled by, the saggy jowls of her thighs flapping against her knees. She fixed him with a porcine look of hatred.

Read More

The Glibening, Part Nine: A Stranger in a Strange Land

Thought! had the most notoriously rabid, snarky and informed comment section in the political arena. And it was well-known that there was no love lost between the commenters and staff. The boss had asked Ramesh to look for a weak point that could be exploited to further alienate the two sides from one another, but it appeared that was happening on its own.

Read More

You know it

Commenting Policy

Welcome to our house! We're glad you could stop by and hang out. If you want to be invited back, please behave accordingly. Don't be that guy.

First comment from new posters will be moderated. Following comments will post immediately. Comments with 2 or more links will be held for moderation to help limit spam.

Please: no NSFW images or gifs.

SugarFree’s 2016 Campaign Coverage

Secret Nazi President by Baked Penguin

DoD Anthrax Vaccine Serial by Ozymandias

#AllCodeIsFreeSpeech

Donate

Want to help out? We appreciate it!

Go here

Login problems?

Let us help

A “418” or “unused” error is generally caused by “too many” login attempts “too fast” and will resolve on its own.

Monocle & Eyepiece

Browser extensions to

Enhance Your Glib Experience

Shop@Glibs

Check out our Cafepress store!

Glibs on Kiva.org

Join our Kiva Lending Team

Pro tip: To mask your Glibness, set up a new Kiva account and fund it with gift cards from your Real Life account.

Want the swanky Glibs avatar SP has on Kiva? Click here

Recent Comments

Archives