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Category: Animals

Your Daily Minute of Pathos

Puna caparaṃ, bhikkhave, bhikkhu seyyathāpi passeyya sarīraṃ sivathikāya chaḍḍitaṃ ekāhamataṃ vā dvīhamataṃ vā tīhamataṃ vā uddhumātakaṃ vinīlakaṃ vipubbakajātaṃ. So imameva kāyaṃ upasaṃharati: ‘ayaṃ pi kho kāyo evaṃdhammo evaṃbhāvī evaṃanatīto’ ti.

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#Mewtwo

I sexually identify as a Pokémon. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of having my name called and hurling through the air to fight against monsters. People say to me that being a pocket monster is impossible and I’m some sort of deviant for thinking I could be. But I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon change my appearance to that of a puce psionically-gifted cat/squirrel/kangaroo hybrid. From now on I want you guys to call me Mewtwo and encounter me in Cerulean Cave only after you have defeated the Elite Four in the Indigo Plateau. If you can’t do that you’re a Poképhobe and need to check your capture privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.

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