ATLANTA – The fast food giant is retiring its trademark “my pleasure” slogan in a bold gambit to attract new...
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Nation’s College Deans Move Back With Their Parents
HARVARD - "I never thought it would happen to me" said Joanna Gambolputty, Dean of Gender Studies at Harvard...
Capitol Riot Leaves Congress Too Shocked to Overthrow Foreign Governments
WASHINGTON DC - "It's unbelievable, like a nightmare you can't wake up from," said House Speaker Nancy...
Moral Panic Grips Nation as Popular Song Encourages Juvenile Delinquency
LOS ANGELES - Millions of parents are furious at the hit band Disrespect Your Elders for promoting youthful...
Worf Will Star as Therapist in New Star Trek Series
LOS ANGELES - "We'll be seeing Worf in a totally new role" said series creator Joanna Gambolputty. Clips of...
Feminist Hardware Store Offers Bisexual, Transgender Nuts and Bolts
BERKELEY - "No one's ever tried anything like this" said She-Ro Hardware proprietor Joanna Gambolputty. Among...
Gracious Governor Provides Alternatives to Traditional Christmas
NEW YORK - Governor Andrew Cuomo, in a feat of graciousness fit for a jolly man in a red suit, provided a...
Return of Messiah Close at Hand, Say Leading Joe Frum Shamans
TANNA - "We're all in this together and we all need to do our part to maintain the bamboo cargo planes and...
Grinch Will Be Social-Distancing Hero in New Film
LOS ANGELES - "In these unprecedented times, we need a great reset, and what better way than by rebooting a...
Government Over-reacting to Virus, Says Traveler Being Frisked by TSA
CHICAGO - "The government is really being absurd about this pandemic" said Hugh Jass as a TSA agent patted...