“And I’m supposed to be Dark Brandon?” Joe asked, his eyes unshining red and hands shaking. “Yes, it’s...

  “Is François Mitterrand in The Oval Office with us right now, Grandpa?” Finnegan asked gently. “I met...

  “The college kids are now mad about Yemen,” Kamala said to Karine. “What’s a Yemen?” Joe asked....

  “Joe, I want to tell you something,” Kamala said, climbing onto his desk to sit with a settling whomp....

  “Whatever,” Hunter said. “I mean, at this point, who hasn’t had anal in the Senate? Have you seen...

  “They've indicted my son,” Joe said. “My son.” His eyes filled with thick tears that spilled over his...

  “I-I-I worry about the robots,” Joe said. “Robots?” Finnegan asked, wiping off his chin. “There aren’t...

  “MCCARTNEY!” Fetterlump cried as he burst into The Oval Office. He stood, hunched, underbite jutting,...

“BOOBERT!” Fetterlump cried into the night. “BOOOOOBERT!” “You should never have shown him that video!”...

  “PROTECC JOE!” Fetterlump bellowed as he crashed through the door to the Oval Office. He scooped Joe...