“Bomb cyclone!” Joe said as he toddled across the white sands of the St. Croix beach. “We are far from...

  “I am a worm. I am a scab. I am scum,” Adam said, pressing down on his tiny erection with the heel of...

  “You think I don't know how fucking old I am?” Old Joe yelled oldily. He broke into a coughing fit and...

  “He asked Milo if he wanted to have sex with him,” Hunter said as he blew crack smoke all over...

  “You need to branch out, Nicky,” Hunter said through the haze of smoke. “Catbois are awesome, but...

  “This turkey is delicious,” Joe said. A half-chewed hunk of overcooked meat fell onto The Presidential...

The opening bars of a classic Motown tune, overlayed with polite applause and laughter, announced the...

  “Midterms are coming up,” Joe said as he played in the bath. “Midterms were last night, Grandpa,”...

  “WHERE’S NANCY!” Joe screamed. He slammed his hammer down on the Resolute desk and a can of Diet Coke...

  “Do we even want to have a nuclear war?” Vlad asked Joe over the red emergency telephone. “It...