Category: Sexuality

Thicc Thursday

I’M KOREAN

SON OF A BITCH AMERICAN

AMERICAN IS PIG

DO YOU WANT A HAMBURGER?

DO YOU WANT A PIZZA?

AMERICAN IS PIG DISGUSTING

GEORGE WALKER BUSH IS A MURDERER
FUCKING U.S.A

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Glibertarians After Dark: My New Fetish

If you bought a shipping container, you could rent a track hoe and some wheelbarrows, then excavate a section of ground, and submerge the container lengthwise into a hole. Before covering the entrance with dirt, lower your sex doll and several generators and halogen spotlights into the container. This space would provide excellent shelter from the harsh seasonal conditions, and a means by which you could engage in private liaisons while remaining undetected by your wife. That’s what I did. I’m leasing a vacant lot near the Saco Ranger Station in Conway, N.H., and I’ve been reported missing for months. Nobody suspects me of experiencing arousal and night emission of any kind. My wife is currently living back in Thailand with her parents, where she provides hospice care in return for subsidized rent and hot meals. I’ve retreated into my container almost full-time, and find the company of my sex doll to be sufficient. I’ve named it “Alexa”. I only exit the container to defecate very rapidly or ingest runoff water when thirsty. I do not, however, budge for urinary expulsion. It’s very tedious, to be honest. Sometimes I experience severe paranoia and debilitating remorse. I wonder if my wife will ever emotionally recover. On a scale of one to ten, I rate this new lifestyle a five.

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Glibertarian Valentine’s Day – Year 2

👋🏻HEY👋🏻 YOU seXXXy💋 LITTLE😫 💃🏼💃🏼SLUTS💃🏼👅‼️‼️📆Today📆 is 💥FUCKUARY 14TH💥 which means👨🏻DADDY CUPID💘💘 is 💦cumming💦 for you⚠️‼️‼️ He’s been ✊🏼YANKING✊🏼😩on his bow🏹 and arrow💘 all night😖 getting ready to 🎯shoot😩👅💦 all over you 😱😩🤣😜😘😍🍆🍆💦💧 so Daddy Cupid draw 🔙 your bow 🏹and let that 💦🤣CUM FLOW➡️👅 💦 ‼️This day only 💦CUMS💦 once a year 📅so ❌rip off❌ your 👗clothes👙 and JUMP 👏🏻ON 👏🏻THAT👏🏻 GOOD 👏🏻DICK!😂😩💗 🙏🏻Saint🙌🏻 Valentine💕🌹 is the 💞SLUTTIEST 👄Saint there is, so 👈🏻spread👉🏻your holy 🙌🏻bible ⬅️wide➡️ to take everything 😵😬😍😆he’s got🙏🏻. 💌☄️SEND💌to 5 💄VALENHOES💋so 👉🏻you👈🏻 can get 😫🤗OFF😊 tonight 👍🏻😵😜❤️💕‼️ if you 😵DON’T😵 you’ll be 👎🏻STUCK ❌without❌ 😖CHOCColate🍫🍫 or 🥖long😩🍆thicc😱🍆 🌹PLOW-HERS🌷🌷for the next 6️⃣9️⃣ YEARS!!!! 😱😭😵😫😜😂😂

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My New Fetish

I am looking for a long term duo queue partner for Overwatch Competitive on PC (US Server) who identifies as a true submissive female, has a strong desire to reach the top of the game, and is willing to commit the time to improving and practice with me every day in the early morning (except Saturdays). I am starting on a fresh account for Season 8. I really don’t care about your past season’s rank, in fact I am perfectly willing to duo with someone who has no experience whatsoever. My game knowledge is really vast and I am a very smart, patient teacher. I am the kind of asshole who doesn’t flex and doesn’t switch, ever. In fact, I will be playing exclusively McCree and Soldier 76. However, I also don’t complain about the teamcomp or my teammates, ever. I don’t rage and I don’t tilt. The goal in the medium term is climbing together to Top 500 while enjoying each other’s energy in the process.

I am not interested in roleplaying, and at least in the near future, I do not want anything beyond a solid, non-sexual symbiotic relationship with you. I am of course willing to play other games not competitively, or doing other things like watching movies or anime, or even just chatting about anything, but do keep in mind that I am going to be very busy these following months so I won’t be able to spend much time with you outside of our morning practice sessions.

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#Mewtwo

I sexually identify as a Pokémon. Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of having my name called and hurling through the air to fight against monsters. People say to me that being a pocket monster is impossible and I’m some sort of deviant for thinking I could be. But I don’t care, I’m beautiful. I’m having a plastic surgeon change my appearance to that of a puce psionically-gifted cat/squirrel/kangaroo hybrid. From now on I want you guys to call me Mewtwo and encounter me in Cerulean Cave only after you have defeated the Elite Four in the Indigo Plateau. If you can’t do that you’re a Poképhobe and need to check your capture privileges. Thank you for being so understanding.

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Thicc Thursday

👋💰Shalom sluts 👋 happy ✡🕎️ Hanukkah✡️ 🕎 spin 💞spin💞 SPIN on daddy’s dreidel✡️ 💦🕎💦🕎💦then ✡️I’ll hanuk-cum on yoUr latke🔯 🕎OoOooo 🕎some 🔯🕯️hano౦kkah 🕯️sHit is about to go dOwn tonight😏💰🕍 YoU🕯️ light 🕯mY 🕎menorah🕎 and mAke me want to💦 Dip my ✡️latke iN your 🍎apple 💦sauCE Oooooo 😍I’ll wear my💦🔯 yarlmu-cum💦😏 and 💦pEnetrate 👉👌you like how 🇮🇱 Israel 🇮🇱 penetrAtEs👉👌 the 🇵🇸Palestinian🇵🇸 territories 💦💦🔯🔯🔯🔯 ill mAkE u hanuk-💦cum 💦🕎8 TIMES 🕎 for the eiGHT 8️⃣ days 💦puRIFying💦 the 🕍HOly Temple 🕍 and I’ll 👏SPANK 💦👏you like the 🔯Maccabees 🔯sPAnked 👏😈Antiochus IV Epiphanes👿 in 💦Jerusacum 💦🇮🇱🕎🕎🔯

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MLW’s Guide to LGBTQWERTY

Mythical Libertarian Woman explores the murky sea doin’ it, banging, making the beast with two backs, humping, the hunka-a-lunka, the horizontal mambo, the old in and out, salting the clam, bam-bam in the ham, balling, amourous congress, attacking the pink fortress, assault with a friendly weapon, beard-splitting, bedroom rodeo, rumbusticating, boffing, boinking, boning, bruising the beef curtains, humpy-squirty, bumping uglies, ferking, hanky, panky, mashing the fat, screwing, monkey-business, shucking the oyster, muff-diving, plugging, etc.

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Happy Thiccsgiving!

Fucking vegans shoving their morals down our throats.

Look, we’ve evolved to eat ass. That’s why we have canine teeth. Animals in the wild eat ass all the time, so why would you give me flack for just going along with nature? I’m not a fucking herbivore.

The human body needs ass to function; if I were to stop eating them, I would go weak. Don’t you get shaky and pale on a non-ass diet? Supplements aren’t enough, and fake ass is disgusting.

At the end of the day, I just think my love of ass trumps the rights of ass. I mean, it’s just ass. It’s non-sentient. I’m an intelligent adult, and so I clearly fall into a different moral category.

Just fuck off and let me eat ass.

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