“Twenty-two days left,” the hair said. “The Kraken,” the hat groaned feebly. “It’s over,” the hair...

  We find the hat on the Resolute desk looking glum. Outside, the wind is making a sepulchral moan as it...

“Look what they did to my boy,” Donald wailed. “Look what they did to my Rudy!” Donald used a sponge stapled...

  “You should be packing, Donald,” the hair said, flipped over on his majestic combover, warm and idle...

“It’s starting,” the hat said grimly. “What’s starting?” the hair asked. He was drying on a towel hook in the...

  “I will never concede,” Donald said from under his desk. “I will never give up this Office or this...

  “I knew they would steal it from me,” Donald fumed. “I knew it.” “They are still counting the votes,...

  “You have to prepare for the debate, Donald,” the hair said. “What prepare? I don’t need to prepare....